Amora
Heat risesin my eyes as I flip the water on in the shower and climb inside. I don’t even wait for the water to warm, and the shock of cold zings through me, giving me a rush of adrenaline to chase away the sheer exhaustion that’s settled over my bones. The cold quickly fades, replaced by lukewarm water. Another twist of the pipes gives me the scalding temperature I need to ease the emotional turmoil I feel.
Weeks of grime slosh off my body beneath the shower head while my tears disappear into the water on my face. I dump shampoo on my hair and scrub vigorously with my fingernails, scratching harder than necessary. If I focus on the little pinpricks of pain, maybe I can get the sight of Quinton standing over Felicity’s body out of my head.
If only for a moment.
His mate.
His mate.
How could he do that?
I turn, ducking my head under the water to rinse out the suds. I grab the bar of soap off the ledge beside me and lather my hands, then use my nails again to scrub at my face.
How could I have—
The doorknob rattles, startling me from my dark thoughts.
My heart lurches until I remember I locked it. I needed my solitude. I needed Frost to stop looking at me like he wanted to dissect every thought in my head.
Safe in the knowledge they can’t get in, I turn my face up toward the spray of water to rinse the last of the soap away. As I’m reaching for the conditioner, a loud bang echoes through the bathroom. There’s a metallic ping as part of the locking mechanism falls to the floor.
Then the shower curtain is flung open.
All three men loom on the other side of the tub. It’s a lot of damn shifter in one place. They take up every molecule of air and space and damn near block out the dull glow of the over-sink light. All three of them stare at me with varying levels of concern.
“Excuse you!” I snap, grabbing the curtain and yanking it closed.
Bad move. This time, Kian yanks it right off the rod.
I screech my indignation as all three of them stare at me again, and this time, there’s nothing to pull closed to block them out. The curtain dangles from Kian’s fingers, water dripping off it onto the bathroom rug.
Frost, who’s remained remarkably stoic this whole time, speaks. “You’re upset.”
“Of course I am,” I snap. “I’m trying to take a damn shower, and I just wanted a minute to myself.”
“No. Not this situation. Not this moment,” Frost says softly. “Before. Ever since we left Colorado.”
My heart thumps against my rib cage. Scalding water continues to pour down my body, grounding me, reminding me that I’m here. I’m alive. And so are they.
I don’t want to say it. I don’t want to put into words the turn my thoughts have taken since I watched the life fade from Felicity’s eyes. Watched her mate so callously destroy her.
“You’re right. I’m upset,” I say carefully, keeping my emotions squashed as far down as I can get them. “We led this pack into danger. Now their entire world has changed because their alpha is dead. I hate that they’re suffering. That they’re mourning.”
Frost shakes his head. “It’s more than that.”
I swallow hard, glancing between them. “What more could there be?”
Malix leans into the shower and turns off the water. The ensuing silence is heavy, despite the drain gurgling and the shower head dripping. “Come on, kitty. We know something is up. We can feel your emotions.”
Kian adds, “And hear your heart beating. Too fast.”
“Fuck. I hate you all,” I growl, reaching past Frost for the towel on the rack. I step over the edge of the tub, wrapping the towel around me, but I have no room to maneuver. They don’t budge, the three of them forming a wall, barring me from leaving the room.
“You’re haunted,” Frost says simply. “Talk to us. Maybe it will ease your mind.”
But I can’t. Putting my deepest, darkest thoughts out into the universe feels like it would do the opposite of easing my mind.
Then Kian says my name in the gentlest voice I’ve ever heard from him.
“Amora.”
Just one word. Just my name falling from his lips, from the man who ruined me more than three years ago and then barreled back into my life, upending everything. I stare at him, at all three of them, my heart pounding so hard it hurts and my chest so constricted it feels like my lungs are caught in a vise. Emotions build like a tsunami inside me, swelling and crashing against my ribs. Everything that’s been churning inside me for days is finally bubbling up, ready to explode.
“I was going to kill you!” I burst out.
The three of them exchange confused glances.
“Just like Quinton killed Felicity,” I add, my voice cracking. More hot tears sting my eyes. “I was going to kill you. I watched him kill her during the battle, and I realized that could have been us. That could have been us killing each other.”
Frost reaches out to brush my still wet hair over my shoulder. “It was not, however. We’re safe.”
“Are we?” I ask, tears clogging my voice. “Because I don’t want that. I don’t want to see that happen to us. I don’t want to work against my mates—it feels like working against my own heart, and that would kill me. I want to love you.” I glance between the three of them, trying to show them with my eyes just how much I mean this. The words are spilling from me now, a torrent of truths that I’ve been holding back for far too long. “I want to love you and I want to be loved by you. I want us to trust one another. To have each other’s backs no matter what happens.”
I pause to take a breath. The more I speak, the more and more I’m getting worked up. The more my pulse races and my wet skin grows chilled. Rivulets of water trace cold trails down my bare shoulders and arms, and the towel is soaked against my body.
“If the witches who warned us had their way, it would be one of us standing over the other’s body,” I go on, clutching the towel tighter to my chest. “Prophecies are supposed to be fact. Undeniable. Unbreakable. But fuck that!”
I raise my voice on the last words, and in response, Kian raises an eyebrow and Malix’s lips quirk into a tiny smile.