Goddammit. I need to sleep. I need to focus.
I clench my jaw rhythmically as I try to talk myself out of what I know I’m about to do, then I finally give in and let the hand that’s resting on my stomach slide lower. The space between my legs is wet and hot, and when I press two fingertips lightly against my clit, the sensation is so powerful that my back bows off the bed.
Fuck.
I haven’t let myself do this since Kian left me all those years ago. I mean, I’ve touched myself plenty of times—a girl’s gotta pass the time in lonely hotel rooms somehow—but I haven’t let myself think of him while I do it.
Now that he’s back in my life, though, now that he’s in my space every day along with my other two mates, I can’t fucking take it anymore. If I don’t let myself have this one little moment of release, if I don’t take the edge off, there’s a chance I’ll break down and do something incredibly stupid. Something that will endanger my entire mission, risk my heart all over again, and complicate this already messy situation even more.
So really, touching myself while I think about my mates is the lesser of two evils. It’s a hell of a lot better than touching any of them.
My fingers move over my clit as I let my imagination run wild, going to all the places I’ve refused to let it venture since Kian, Malix, and Frost crashed into my life. I imagine doing what the reckless and untamed part of me wanted to do back there by the tree—striding up to Malix and putting my mouth on his cock, lapping up his release and stroking him until he’s fully hard again.
I imagine the taste and feel of him in my mouth, the sounds he would make, the way his fingers would tangle in my hair.
And then, because I’m too lost in my imagination to hold anything back, I add Kian to the picture. In my mind’s eye, he strides up and discovers us, finding me on my knees in front of his friend. He growls, the sound more wolf than man, as he yanks me to my feet and spins me around.
Just like he did downstairs, he towers over me, anger filling his eyes. Except in my imagination, there’s need there too.
His lips crash against mine, devouring me and worshipping me and punishing me all at once. I wrap my arms around Kian and arch against him, kissing him back until Malix yanks me out of his friend’s grip and spins me to face him again.
A wicked smile curves Malix’s lips, such a startling contrast to the hard, angry line of Kian’s mouth. But when Malix kisses me, it’s no less fierce than the way Kian did.
I keep working my clit as the fingers of my other hand slide lower, plunging into my pussy. My legs are shaking, my toes curling, my breath coming in choppy gasps as the scene plays out so vividly behind my closed eyelids that it almost feels real.
Kian and Malix share me, passing me roughly back and forth, and even while I’m kissing one of them, the other man makes certain I can’t forget him. Hands are everywhere on me, squeezing my breasts, pinching my nipples, sliding under my clothes to tear them off.
When they have me entirely naked between them, Frost appears.
As he did in my dream, he stands a little to one side, watching with an expression I can’t read. But just like in my dream, I swear I can feel a world of emotions just beneath the blank, unreadable mask he wears. His blue eyes, which lighten to a color almost like silver near his irises, focus on us intently as Malix lifts me into his arms and thrusts up into me.
I wrap my legs around Malix’s waist, moaning at the sudden intrusion, and then Kian’s fingers find my ass. Like that first night in the hotel room, he doesn’t give warning or ask permission.
He just takes.
Takes what’s his.
His fingers delve into my tight hole as Malix fucks me, and as the pleasure inside me starts to build into a torrent so wild I don’t know if I can contain it, he slides them out and replaces them with his cock.
The stretch steals my breath, and my head drops back as I feel his cock fight for space inside me. Malix is still fucking me, grunting with every thrust, and when Kian bottoms out, I’m so desperately full that I feel like I’m on fire.
Frost is still watching us, still so separate and inscrutable, and in my mind, I beg him to come closer—to join us.
He takes several steps towa
rd us, and although he doesn’t touch me, I watch with greedy eyes as he shoves his pants down and grips his cock. He strokes himself, his gaze locked on me, and as his fist moves up and down his shaft, his entire face transforms. Pleasure blooms across his features, heat and adoration burning in his eyes…
…and that’s what pushes me over the edge.
Lost in all three of them, I come hard. My imagination floods my mind with filthy images as my hips jerk and my clit throbs. I keep rubbing my clit, dragging the first orgasm out into a second, and then a third, as if I’m trying to wring my body out. To purge myself of every fantasy I’ve ever had about these men.
When the last tremors of pleasure finally wash through me, I unclamp my teeth from around my sore bottom lip. I managed to keep myself from crying out, but I’m not sure I was entirely silent either. In fact, I’m pretty damn positive I wasn’t. If nothing else, my breathing would’ve given me away if any of the men are close enough to my room to hear it.
I hope like hell they aren’t.
My muscles unclench, and I sink into the mattress, drawing my hands away from my throbbing pussy as my heartbeat slowly returns to normal.
The buzzing feeling inside me has faded a bit, and I can feel exhaustion tugging at me, urging me to let go and fall asleep. But despite the fact that I accomplished what I meant to, taking the edge off and allowing myself to relax a little, I know I’m playing a dangerous fucking game.