We assumed he was connected to our father’s shady past but we had no idea what we were dealing with. Gabe broke into the warehouse Blade was staying in and had the terrible judgment to bring along a friend of his from the old days. A friend who stole something when Gabe wasn’t looking.
He had no idea what had happened until Sasha’s house was trashed and he got the message Blade left for him. A dagger through her picture. To protect her, Gabe confronted him and ended up learning firsthand how he earned his name.
Tank clears his throat sounding surprisingly emotional. “Anyway, I got in touch with the guy you told me about. He admitted to stealing the ring but I got it back. I gave it to Max. He said he’ll handle it. Hopefully dear old Dad is actually telling the truth for once.”
Well, that’s a relief. Hopefully Max will settle whatever business they have and convince Blade to go back home. The last thing we need is that scary bastard hanging around. Tank agrees and by the time we hang up, I breathe deeply for the first time since I saw Gabe in that hospital bed.
Finally. A little peace.
I go back upstairs, careful to be quiet as I pass Gabe’s door. At this point he should be sleeping so even though I feel like I should check on him, I don’t. Sasha’s taking care of him so I’m not needed there. That gives me a little pang behind the heart.
I really like her but it’s strange to think of someone else being closer to my brother than I am. It leaves me with a sense of being out of place somehow. When Gabe bought this house, he convinced me that it was ridiculous to buy my own place right away. Why not wait until I found something I actually wanted and just stay with him until then?
It made sense at the time but I think it’s time to revisit the buying my own place situation. Sasha hasn't been in my brother's life for long but I already know where things are heading. When a man looks at a woman like she's more vital than the air he breathes, only an idiot wouldn't lock it down with a ring. She’ll be my sister before the end of the year, I’m willing to bet. My brother is many things but never an idiot. His recent behavior not withstanding.
I don’t want to cramp their style or feel like a third wheel but those aren’t the only reasons I want to move out.
Gabe has always been more popular and charming and the one everyone likes. And I've never minded before because I love him. Maybe that's what makes this situation so unbearable. I never thought that I would envy or resent him for anything he has.
But when I look at Josie, when I see the love shining out of her eyes that he so easily disregards, it makes me feel something I never thought I could.
It makes me hate him a little bit.
chapter two
†
JOSIE
I knew where my life was heading until the night my best friend almost died.
My mind flashes to the painful image of Gabe, pale and bruised, with tubes coming out all over. His appearance was shocking enough but then he’d opened his eyes and said something that changed everything. He said, “Make sure she knows I love her, Jo. If I die, make sure Sasha knows.”
The nurses had been in the middle of sedating him so I don’t even know if he remembers what he said to me. But ever since then what he said hasn’t been far from my mind.
What if I were the one in that hospital bed? What would I regret? Would I be satisfied with the things I’ve accomplished or disappointed by all the time I’ve wasted?
I’ve made a lot of decisions over the past few weeks, some that others might call hasty, because of those words. I moved out of my parents’ house and broke up with my boyfriend. All because I don’t have an answer to any of those questions.
I had a path for my life but it turns out I was just stumbling along the road others paved for me.
I’m not much of a crier but everything seemed to converge into a mass of confusion today when I really looked at my life. I saw the bare bones of who I am and it wasn’t a pretty picture. Suddenly all I wanted was to cover that up with some color. Something to bring life to my black and white world.
Of course Zack had to see me in the midst of my breakdown.
Why is it that the one person you most want to impress always sees you at your worst? Zack has been in a unique position these past few years to see me at my lowest points. It’s no wonder he looks at me like an annoying little sister. Meanwhile, I’m dreaming of tracing all his tattoos with my tongue. He’d probably be completely disgusted if he knew.
Ugh.
I’m putting away the paint cans and cursing myself for being a complete coward when Sasha finds me. She looks exhausted but happy. Much like Gabe has looked since he met her.
“Hey, I thought I heard your voice earlier.” Her eyes widen when she takes in my paint-splattered appearance. “I didn’t know you were a painter?”
I grimace, looking down at the damage. “I’m not. This is more like… therapy.”
“Ah, I see.” Wisely, she doesn’t ask any more about it. “I was just coming down to get something to eat. Do you want to join me?”
Her invitation comes as a bit of a surprise. “Sure, I would love that. Just give me a second.”