“You definitely did that,” she murmurs in that throaty way that makes me want to get back inside her again.
I listen and hear the sound of footsteps moving around below us. Then the sound of the television. It’s clear that wherever her brother and roommate were before, they’re back in for the night. Which means that the round two I was planning for Josie will have to wait. Josie sits up pulling the sheet over her breasts. The move makes me smile.
I lean down and nuzzle her ear. “Already seen it all. There’s no use hiding those beauties now.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m not hiding. Just not used to flashing them around.”
I watch as she slides out of bed and then starts picking up the items on the floor. She pulls her bra back on and then her tunic. She’s turning around in circles and I finally realize she’s looking for her panties. The ones I threw over my shoulder. I retrieve them from the floor on the other side of the bed and hand them to her.
“Thanks,” she whispers without looking at me. She steps into them and then pulls her jeans back on. I dress silently, watching as she mentally retreats right in front of me. Every item of clothing she puts on is like another layer of armor she uses to keep herself protected.
To hell with that.
“Are you okay? Truly okay?” I stop her fidgeting by pulling her closer until her hands are trapped between us. Her hair is wild in the back where it was rubbing against her pillow and I tame the strands with my hands. “I want you to always be honest with me if you aren’t happy. Or aren’t satisfied.”
She blushes deeply and buries her face in my shirt. “Not satisfied? Were you just here a few minutes ago?”
“I just wanted to make sure. You’re not looking at me all of a sudden.”
“Zack, I’m completely mortified that if they’d come home any earlier they would have heard me screaming the walls down. I wouldn’t have even heard them come in. You make me forget myself completely.”
My arms tighten around her. It makes me feel proud, and also deeply satisfied to know that I gave her what she needed.
“That’s the way it should be. So no thinking of England then, huh?”
She laughs softly. “Definitely not. The only thing I was thinking was how to keep you right where you were.”
“Believe me, sweetheart nothing could have dragged me away. Unfortunately this means that we can’t do it again but maybe that’s for the best. I’m greedy for you but you’ll be sore tomorrow as it is.”
She curls against me. “I don’t care.”
“I do. I never want to h
urt you. Only give you pleasure.” I sit on the edge of the bed. “Do you mind if I look at that album again?”
She looks shocked but picks it up from the floor where it fell. I accept the book and start from the beginning instead of the middle like last time. Looking at these photos is like taking a visual stroll down memory lane. Some of the pictures are events that I wasn’t even aware she knew about.
My first coffee shop performance. That was before I figured out that I hate playing in front of strangers. Some people have a deep-seated need to share their love of music and that’s great. There are so many musicians that I love listening to and I’m really glad they want to share. But for me, it’s not necessary. I play because it soothes me. Managing stress is important to my health and playing the guitar calms me.
Josie captured the fear in my expression perfectly. If anyone else had taken this photo it would feel like a violation. But she’s managed to capture the moment in such a way that you feel like a sympathetic friend instead of a voyeur. Like you’re sharing in my fear and disappointment.
As I flip each page, my heart opens just a little more. I can feel the love in the pages as she’s chronicling a life she desperately wants to share. Every image in this book is a reminder. No one has ever made me feel this way. No longer second best. I think back to what she told me before.
“You don’t have to win my heart. You’ve always had it.”
Josie has been arranging the sheets and blankets behind me. I stand so she can smooth the bedspread. The room looks the way it did when I arrived. After listening at the door, she opens it and then opens her laptop. If anyone comes upstairs, it will look like we’re just hanging out.
After about ten minutes, footsteps sound on the stairs and Josie glances over at me. Her brother James passes by and then backtracks when he sees me sitting on the bed.
“Hey, Zack. I haven’t seen you in a long time.”
I stand and accept his handshake. “It has been a long time. It’s great to see you again.”
James looks over at the images of me on Josie’s laptop. “So you’re Jo’s next subject?”
He raises his eyebrows. I hold his gaze as I nod. Josie’s parents haven’t been supportive but she’s never mentioned if her brother has an issue with her new direction. If he does, then I’ll be here to rip him a new one.
After an uncomfortable moment, he finally glances over at Jo. “So how did your session go?”