I was actually hoping she wouldn't find out until they were done. I should have known that she wouldn't be able to stay away, even on days when she’s not scheduled to be there. The club is her dream.
"The thought of you working by yourself to get things ready makes me crazy. It’s not safe at night and those locks are hardly secure.”
"I guess you'd know that better than I would." She immediately covers her mouth. "I'm sorry. That was a low blow."
Her words settle right in the pit of my stomach like I’ve swallowed a rock. “Maybe but it's the truth. I do know better just how dangerous this world can be and I don't want you at risk. I have the money to hire a crew so I did it. And I would do it again if it means you're safer."
She throws her handbag down in the chair behind my desk.
“Damn it, Gabe. You knew that I wanted to do this myself! It's not about the money or even safety. I'm not an idiot. I don't stay too late so there are other people around and someone always knows where I am. But now that there's nothing for me to do it feels like it's not really my project anymore."
I pull her into my arms and rest my chin on top of her head. "I hate when you're angry with me.”
She squeezes me around the waist. "I'm not doing it for kicks, Gabe. I told you that I wanted to accomplish this on my own. You knew my feelings about it and you just bulldozed right over them."
Now that some of her initial wrath has been expressed, I can see that she’s frustrated. And hurt.
I tip up her chin gently, holding fast when she tries to turn her head away. "Sasha, I'm a wealthy man."
She starts to protest but I kiss her into silence. "Just let me say this. I'm a wealthy man. I never thought I would be but there it is. I haven't earned it. And I'm sure as hell not the kind of guy who deserves it so I need to use this money to help the people that I care about. If I can't do that I'll go crazy."
"Am I?" she asks in a small voice. Then she peeks up at me shyly. "Someone you care about?"
"More than you can ever know." I rest my forehead against hers. We stay like that for a few minutes, breathing in tandem. Finally she rests a hand lightly against my cheek.
"I care about you, too."
* * * * *
Once Sasha leaves, I drop down into the chair behind my desk. It’s quiet up front so I figure most of the guys bailed when they heard Sasha on the warpath. She’s got the entire crew wrapped around her little finger so if there’s a fight between us, I’m already aware that they would all be firmly on her side.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I answer it without looking at the screen. When I hear Cole’s voice, I curse the impulsive action.
“Hey kid. You given any thought to that job I told you about?”
Despite my repeated refusals since the day he met me at that old warehouse, he seems to think that I’m playing hard to get. He’s called multiple times and even come by the shop. That didn’t go over too well. Jim knows that he was the one who got me into boosting cars in the first place so he wasn’t too happy to see him show up here.
“I told you. I’m out of that life.”
He grunts. “I really need you on this one. This is a big score. The kind that could really set me up, you know?”
He’s never sounded quite this desperate before. The kind of desperation that comes from either debt or drugs. My head drops forward into my hands. Even though I know intellectually that I’m not responsible for anyone else’s actions, I can’t help feeling a pang of regret and sympathy for him. He got me into trouble, yes, but he also got me out of trouble at times, too. He was my friend.
“Hey, man. You know I can spot you the cash. Whatever you need.”
My words introduce a new form of tension. Cole has always been a proud type and despite being
a thief, he’s always had an almost old-fashioned code of honor. He doesn’t believe in charity.
As expected, he doesn’t sound happy with my offer. “I didn't call for a handout. This is a job offer. I'm trying to give you a shot at it before we have to find someone else. I'm sure you don't want to be stuck in that shop fixing other people's fancy cars forever. Just think about it.”
He hangs up and I’m left with a vague sense of unease and a cloying sense of guilt. So far I’ve been able to keep my financial windfall relatively quiet. Not too many people know and the only big thing I’ve bought so far is my house. It feels weird knowing that all my old friends are still struggling and I can only help them so much.
I look up to see Josie watching me from the doorway. She gives me a little smile. “There was a time when you wouldn’t have been able to say no. You’ve become a better man right before my eyes.”
I squeeze my temples between my palms. There's a knot of tension between my brows that makes me feel like my forehead is about to crack open. “Hah. I would be a better man if I didn’t feel a little flash of excitement wondering what the job is.”
Her eyes soften. “I said you were a better man, not a robot.”