So I dial the number I still know by heart.
An hour later, I’m sitting outside the restaurant, uncaring if the rough concrete beneath my ass is ruining the fabric of my suit pants.
Who cares about what I look like when my entire world has just been turned upside down?
The party has started to peter out at this point because I can see that a few people are still inside. Hazy shapes move back and forth behind the front window like dark spectres. From out here, it looks warm and welcoming, a sharp contrast to the cold, bite of the wind that whips around me. But I can’t seem to get myself together to go back inside.
Will people be able to tell that I’m a broken man when they see me? How will I shake hands and talk shop when all I can think about are the four words that keep echoing inside my head. And the other four words that knocked me on my ass.
I made a mistake.
I want you back.
The door to the restaurant opens again but this time instead of another group of inebriated young women, Anya steps out onto the curb. She turns toward the parking lot, wrapping her coat closer around her body against the wind. Then she notices me and her steps slow.
“Law? What are you doing sitting on the ground?” She peers at me closely before lowering her voice. “Are you drunk?”
I grunt. “Not drunk enough.”
Anya looks like she’s about to walk off. Probably to go meet up with her new billionaire boyfriend.
“I was looking for you earlier. I need to talk to you.”
She sighs. “We can talk at the office on Monday.”
The thought of a long, lonely weekend without her is unimaginable. When she first pulled away, I thought this would be a phase and she’d eventually be as tired of the pretense as I was. But she seems completely unaffected by our time apart.
Does she even miss me?
How is she so calm?
“Now you won’t even talk to me outside of business hours? Like I’m just another coworker?”
Anya looks sad. “You are just another coworker.”
“This is bullshit! We’ve been together for two years. How can you just walk away like it was nothing? Like you don’t even care.”
She spins around. “No, you don’t get to do that. I cared. All I have done these past two years is care. But you only want me around when it’s convenient. Despite what you think, I deserve more than that. I deserve it all.”
“You think a man like Seth Barrington is what you need? What kind of promises did he make? Is the billionaire playboy supposed to be your knight in shining armor now?”
She sniffs and dabs at her eyes. “I don’t know but at least now I have the chance to find out.”
The thought of him touching her makes me want to rage. Especially when I know his type. Rich, brilliant and used to getting whatever he wants, he’ll string her along with pretty promises and then leave when he gets bored.
“You don’t even know him.”
“I’ll get to know him. That’s what dating is about.” She rolls her eyes and turns to walk away again.
“So he’ll get to be with you because he’s willing to do what I won’t. Lie. He’ll say whatever he thinks you want to hear. Doesn’t honesty count for anything? All I’ve ever done is try to protect you. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Anya pauses and when she looks back, the tears on her cheeks shock me into silence.
“You say you don’t want to hurt me but this is hurting me. If you can’t give me what I need, then the kindest thing to do is let me find someone who can.”
When she walks away this time, I let her go.
12