Her fingers tighten on my shoulder as we continue to move across the dance floor. “The one Casey wanted to set you up with?”
This feels like dangerous territory.
“I don’t remember. You look beautiful by the way.”
She laughs. “You really are a charmer. I have to get out of here before they do that stupid bouquet toss. But come find me in the bar downstairs after that.”
“I really wish I could kiss you right now.”
* * *
A half an hour later, I come back into the ballroom. Right as they announced the bouquet toss, I got an urgent work email and went outside to handle it.
Like she has radar, Mamma appears as soon as I’m sneaking back in. She wrinkles her nose at the sight of the phone in my hand.
“Really, Philippe? It’s your brother’s wedding. You’re supposed to be having fun. In fact, there’s a very nice girl I could introduce you to.”
“I can’t, Mamma. I have to handle all the work stuff so that Andre doesn’t have to. It’s his day.”
She pauses as if she can sense I’m not being completely truthful but isn’t sure how to prove it.
I kiss her cheek, sensing my window to escape her trap is closing. “I have to go. I see the head of our marketing agency. I have to network.”
I’ve met James Lawson multiple times but I’m not sure if he’ll recognize me on sight. He doesn’t look all that happy to be here, actually. He’s staring glumly at the dance floor.
Mamma appears at the edge of my vision. I sigh. I’m going to have to look busy or I’ll never escape her matchmaking. So I stop next to James and lean over.
“You’re supposed to at least pretend to be happy at these things,” I comment conspiratorially.
He glances over with a blank look.
I hold out a hand. “Philippe Lavin. I’m not sure if you remember me. I’m the brother of that sickeningly happy guy on the dance floor.”
“I remember. You’ve been to the agency a few times for meetings. James Lawson.”
I incline my head toward Andre and Casey who are currently kissing like they’re about to tear each other’s clothes off.
“They’re ridiculously happy.”
“Yes, they are.” He grimaces. Then he seems to catch himself, pasting a smile on his face. “Marriage isn’t for me but I wish them nothing but the best.”
“It’s funny, I used to feel the same way. But lately I’ve been thinking it might be nice to have someone to come home to. Someone who is happy to see me.”
It’s stupid confessing all this to a stranger but since we don’t know each other, it seems safer somehow.
James tugs at the collar of his shirt, his face turning red.
“I thought that once, but take it from me buddy. If you want someone who is happy to see you when you come home, get a dog. It’s cheaper.”
He takes a final gulp of his champagne before placing the glass on the tray of a passing waiter.
Well, okay then. It seems I’m not the only one having problems in the romance department. But at least I’m trying. Since I can’t tell anyone about Ariana, I’m forced to navigate these new and confusing feelings on my own.
And I definitely can’t talk about them with her. She’s totally on board with taking our relationship to the next physical level but she’s still keeping a barbed wire fence around her heart, no matter how often I tell her I love her.
I can see in her eyes that she wants to say it back.
My beautiful little devil thinks I don’t understand but I do. She’s scared to let go until she finally gets the word from her doctor that she’s fine. Those test results are like a bulletproof window between us.