Casey looks devastated. “Oh my god. We should have realized–”
Mya scoffs. “Ariana. You expect me to b
elieve that crap?”
“Mya! She’s pouring out her feelings here.” Casey crosses her arms.
She’s so adorable.
“I’m just kidding. Guys, nothing is wrong. I’m just horny. I need to get laid.”
“There it is,” Mya waves her hand triumphantly.
Casey looks disappointed.
Mya crunches another chip. “Okay, things are starting to make sense. But why haven’t you taken care of the problem, Oh Queen of Dildo Land?”
I snicker to myself. I have always maintained an impressive sex toy collection. But that’s not the point.
“You two don’t understand because you’ve got good dick available when you need it. But sometimes there’s no substitute for the real thing. Some of us are in a drought, okay? It’s not fair to brag about your sex storms while I’m dying of thirst!”
“That metaphor makes no sense.” Mya crunches another chip.
“I should have come back to visit more,” Casey laments. “I’ve been such a bad friend. You’re here all alone.”
“Yes, I’m a pathetic spinster,” I say drily.
“Oh no, that’s not what I meant!”
Mya laughs. “She’s trolling you, Casey. Ariana doesn’t care about getting married. She’s going to live to one hundred and still be fabulous as hell and buy our kids really expensive, noisy presents.”
“And don’t you forget it.”
Mya gets up then, but not before taking a few more chips from the bag. She gives both of us a hug.
“I’ve got to run. Now that we know you aren’t dying, I have to get back to work.”
My heart sinks down to my knees at her words. I smile weakly. “Not dying.”
Casey takes her seat at the counter after Mya leaves. She watches quietly as I clean up the chips Mya left all over the counter.
“I should be asking how you are doing? Are you getting excited? Nervous? The big day will be here before you know it.”
Casey clasps her hands together in excitement. “I know! I can’t wait to see my dress. Andre is putting the final touches on it now.”
“Comes in handy to be marrying one of the hottest designers in the world, huh?”
Her eyes soften. “I’d marry that man in a potato sack.”
“I really am happy for you.”
She squeezes my hand. “I want you to be happy, too. Maybe I can hook you up. Andre has so many friends.”
“No blind dates.”
“Come on, it’ll be fun. We’re already hosting a dinner this weekend just so I can invite Philippe and Anya over at the same time. Playing Cupid is so much fun.”
The mug I’m holding slips from my fingers and shatters right at my feet.