Happily Ever After is overrated. There I said it.
Call me a buzzkill but after watching all of my friends succumb to the love virus, I’ve decided to sit this one out. Which isn’t as easy as it sounds.
If you’re looking for a ring, then all you attract are one-night stands. Girls who prefer to fly solo, you guessed it – we attract nothing but Mr. Will You Marry Me?
So I’ve been playing a little game. Seeing just how far I can go before I send these guys running for the hills. Doing crazy sh*t every day keeps the relationships away.
Except for this guy who just keeps showing up. Listening when I vent about work, remembering my fears and being annoyingly present when I don’t want to be alone. And all the crazy stuff I do doesn’t even faze him. In fact, I think he likes it.
Which is a problem. Because I have very good reasons for not wanting to get involved. And if I’m not careful, I just might get used to needing someone.
I
How It Started
1
As I hand my best friend another tissue, it’s a struggle not to cringe. This is a time-honored tradition after all, comforting your best friend during a breakup. Only it’s never the way they portray it in the movies. There’s no uplifting music playing in the background and we never conveniently have vodka and Chunky Monkey on hand.
Instead I’m sitting on the couch, trying to pretend my bestie doesn’t have snot on her face. Meanwhile her tears are soaking through my shirt onto my bare skin.
It’s about as non-cinematic as it gets.
The worst part? I’m still not exactly sure what happened.
“And ohmygodyouwontbelieve,” Mya huffs between shaky breaths, her curly black hair flying around her face where it’s come loose from her braid.
This has been the pattern ever since I got home from work to find her crying in her room. I’ve had this date on my calendar since last year. I left it knowing she might need consolation on what should have been her wedding day. Her ex-boyfriend was a jerk who was terrible in bed. Or at least that was my assumption considering how little noise I heard when he slept over.
After she started seeing her new boyfriend, I’d figured she was over it and wouldn’t care when this day came. But I guess it finally caught up with her.
I nod along absently. “I’m so sorry. He was such a skeeze.”
“No, I said you won’t believe what he did.” Mya pauses to blow her nose, honking loudly.
My dog, Oreo, skitters away at the loud sound. She curls up in the kitchen, looking like a black and white ball of fluff on top of her little dog bed.
Patience is supposed to be a virtue. Unfortunately, it’s not one I’ve ever possessed. But as I hand my sniffling best friend another tissue, I work hard to summon every ounce I can.
“I can’t believe Will would show his face on this day of all days. Wow, what a jerk.”
“Will was here actually but that’s not what happened. It’s Milo. We were getting ready for our big presentation,” she pauses to hiccup, “andthenhiscomputerdied!”
“His … cat died?” I ask tentatively.
“No, his computer. Then I had to go get another one.” At this point she devolves into another round of mumbling and sobbing.
I’m trying to listen. Really, I am. But deciphering cry talk has never been a skill of mine.
“After his computer died, that’s when he stole your crayon?”
Mya lifts her head briefly to glare at me through red, glistening eyes. “The client! He stole the client. I can’t believe I trusted him.”
Well, that was her first mistake. Except I’m not allowed to say that part out loud. People don’t take it well when you tell them the truth. At least not in my experience.