5
RENEE’S POV
This could have been a whole lot worse. With anyone else, this could have been an absolute nightmare, but somehow Toby made it okay. My moment of madness where I touched his body in ways I definitely hadn’t ever with anyone before would have been utterly humiliating with anyone else. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what the hell came over me. That wasn’t me at all. I never behaved like that. But the lack of sleep and the paint fumes had messed with my head. I became more of an animal than the wolf bounding down the hill behind me and I caved to my animalistic instincts. I liked it as well, I loved the way that touching Toby felt. Maybe because he wasn’t cornering me, letting me have complete control over what happened. Or maybe it was because I was actually attracted to him.
No, I reminded myself firmly. I can’t be attracted to Toby. Not when I’m engaged to Diego. It just can’t happen. No way.
If anything, it was probably because it was a blast from the past. Toby was so much like the Trey I loved, I just slipped up for a moment. There was no need for me to make anything of it. I didn’t need to create a big deal out of nothing. I could just push it to the back of my mind and forget all about it, right? I sure as hell didn’t feel like I owed Diego anything. It wasn’t like he would understand or respect me. Plus, we weren’t exactly together yet. Engaged, but as a business arrangement, that was all.
I shrieked with laughter as the golden-furred wolf with red-brown eyes came near me. Toby was an adorable wolf, and I couldn’t stop looking at him. Was this what Trey looked like when he shifted? I was never given the chance to see him in his animalistic form. Trey didn’t even talk about it much. For him, it seemed like something he was embarrassed about more than anything else. I got the feeling all wolf shifters were like that until I was exposed to more of the world and got to see proud wolves. Just like Toby. It made me draw toward him more knowing that he was proud of who he was.
Toby seemed to enjoy the sound of me shrieking because he continued to run circles around me, brushing against me every so often. It was a delightful sensation, one I couldn’t get enough of. Maybe I was still a little giddy from my liberating nude painting that happened earlier that morning. It was definitely making me act nothing like myself. If Diego could see me now, he would likely freak the hell out. But the way I saw it, I was only having fun with my friend who had been hired to protect me by my father. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all.
I reached the edge of the pond and turned back to gloat over Toby, but much to my surprise, he didn’t shift back in to his human form. He remained a wolf, circling around me. I twisted around with him, giggling wildly. I didn’t know what the hell was going on, but it felt kind of nice.
“Well, this is awkward,” I cried out playfully. “Don’t you think it’s time to shift back and make me my breakfast?”
I was relieved when he didn’t shift back, though, because I liked seeing a different side of Toby. I liked getting to know him on a different level. I had a feeling Toby was allowing me to explore him fully. I enjoyed the sensation of running my fingers through his fur, petting him, and pulling him closer to me. He was soft, softer than any other animal I had ever felt before, and warm as well. I could almost feel the human surging through him. Was Toby aware that this was the closest I had ever been to a wolf before? I might have seen them here and there, but this was the first time I’d ever been close enough to feel one. Other wolves had always made me a little nervous in the past. I was never quite sure how much of the beasts were animal and how much was human. But with Toby, I didn’t have that worry at all. I was comfortable with him.
“Wow, you feel amazing.” He brushed against my legs some more as he circled around me. Toby even paused for a moment to rest his head against me. This was a different closeness to what happened in my bedroom. There was a brand new energy surging between us, but I liked it. It was just as intimate, but in a new way. A way I desperately wanted to explore further. “I love the feel of your fur so much. It’s so nice. I can’t stop stroking you, Toby.”
I wondered what he was thinking, what he would say back to me if he was human right now. I really wanted to ask him if he was struggling with this friendship only as much as I was, but I couldn’t. And I shouldn’t. Not when I was engaged to someone else. Unfortunately, I couldn’t just forget Diego Vanderbilt even if I wanted to. We were getting married, no matter what was surging through my brain right now.
I stepped back abruptly, pulling away from Toby almost unconsciously as I thought about Diego. Toby sensed that something had changed between us, and he moved back as well. I watched in awe as he shifted back from his wolf form, reforming as his gorgeous human self. I swallowed hard as I ran my eyes up his body until they connected with his once more. And here we found ourselves again, unable to stop staring at one another. It was almost as if the moment our eyes connected, magnets held them in place and refused to let us go. I cocked my head to one side as I tried to work out exactly what was going on behind his gaze. There were a lot of feelings there, dancing behind his eyes. I could sense them, but I truly didn’t know what any of them meant. Was Toby trying to hide his feelings or express something to me?
I parted my lips, determined to ask him. I managed to express a lot to him while he was in wolf form, so why couldn’t I now? What was so different? So difficult? It was absolutely ridiculous.
“Miss Vaughn?” I jumped at the sharp voice that called out to me across the yard. “I have been searching for you.”
I blinked a few times, forcing my eyes to move away from Toby’s. As I finally took my gaze somewhere else, I noticed my heart hammering wildly against my ribcage. I could barely even catch my breath. This was nuts.
“Oh, Rebecca, hello.” I didn’t know I had a meeting with the wedding planner today. Maybe Mom had told me, but it had slipped my mind. No wonder Rebecca was irritated with me. I definitely wasn’t like any bride she’d worked with before. “Sorry, I…”
“Am I interrupting your morning workout routine? I’m not early or anything…” She checked her watch in an overly dramatic fashion. “Yeah, I’m here right on time.”
She looked coldly between me and Toby. How much had she seen? How much did she sense? At least I knew I didn’t have the worry about Rebecca saying anything to Diego and the Vanderbilts because this was one of her biggest jobs of the year. There was no way she’d want to risk it. Then again, she very likely didn’t want me to mess it up for her either. She was going to be hard to work with today. Not the day I wanted, but the day it seemed like I was going to have.
“No, you aren’t interrupting anything.” I forced myself to smile. “I actually just finished my workout.” That was easier to say than anything else. “But I can come with you now…”
“Yes, please.” Rebecca jutted out her chin. “There are a lot of things I want to go over with you. I have met with Victoria, but I do need to get some input from you.”
I nodded, refusing to look at Toby even though I could feel his eyes burning through me. He surely had a million questions, but I couldn’t give him any answers. There was nothing I could give him, was there? This wedding was happening, so looking at Toby and wondering what was burning between us didn’t matter. It was better for me to mumble that I was going with Rebecca now and move away from him. It was easier to breathe when I wasn’t around Toby.
“We have a lot to do today,” Rebecca snapped, forcing me to give her attention even if I didn’t want to. “We have a lot of details we need to iron out.”
“Sure,” I agreed glumly, giving her as much of my focus as I could handle. I had to shove Toby way out of my brain. “Let me know what you need me to sort out.”
It was honestly pretty hard for me to listen to her going on and on about details of the wedding that I didn’t have nearly enough interest in. Especially as Rebecca ventured into extravagant additions to the wedding that I was really sure I didn’t need. It seemed like Victoria was dead set on the idea that an ice sculpture was absolutely essential. I thought that was insane, but whatever. I could just zone out, daydream that I was in Paris, and nod at Rebecca because she didn’t really need me. Especially since she was now talking about making sure there were well decorated trees, verging on an enchanted forest, beside me as I walked down the aisle. Was all that necessary? Just because our families could afford things, didn’t mean we needed to have everything.
“…oh, but that might be an issue, right?” Rebecca noted while tapping her pen on her chin. “How will everyone see you? We want all eyes on you walking down the aisle.”
“Mmm, sure. All eyes on me.” That sounded horrible. It was going to be all business associates. My father and Mr. Vanderbilt were going to make sure they had everyone they wanted to impress at the wedding. It was going to be much more of a socializing and networking event for deals than an actual wedding where anyone cared what the space looked like. I didn’t like the idea of all those guys staring at me.
“You need to care about this a bit more,” Rebecca warned me with her eyebrows practically up in her hairline. “Can you help me with this?”
I shrugged, feeling helpless. “I don’t know what’s best,” I admitted. “You know more about weddings than me. What do you think will work?”
She narrowed her eyes at me untrustingly. “You really want to let everyone else take the reins on this? You’re not worried that it’ll all be the opposite of what you want?”
I smiled thinly. “I don’t know. I’m not sure what I want. I’m sure you will do a good job. You’re the best of the best, aren’t you?”
Thank God, flattery worked. Rebecca grinned ear to ear and took that to heart. “Okay, sure. Well, I’ve got your back. I will make sure you have the best time. I am really good at weddings, so I can ensure you will have something incredible.”
I was going to end up walking down the aisle like I was in an enchanted forest with a freaking spot light on me or something. Rebecca was definitely going to go above and beyond for this wedding, and the moms were going to go wild. But whatever. All I had to do was show up on the day in my fancy-ass dress and tell Diego that I was willing to commit myself to him for the rest of my life. Those words were going to be weird to say. How was I going to get them out when I knew what he had planned for me?
When you’re my wife, I can have you wherever and whenever I want. Even if I have to take you by force.
* * *