The dreadful old bat. I’m not his girlfriend or a tart. Does he send a lot of women here? Through clenched teeth, I say, “Just work clothes, danke.”
Frau Schneider shoots an annoyed look at Lenore. “When is that man going to send some proper business my way? Or does it go to another dressmaker? Is it Frau Werner?”
“Well, he’s spoilt for choice, I assure you. Don’t worry, as soon as he picks someone I’ll make sure she comes to you.”
“He’s not…Andersrum, is he?”
Lenore shakes her head. “Legs, remember? I’ve seen him looking.” She sniffs. “Not at mine, though. I think he likes brunettes.”
I follow this exchange, completely bewildered. Andersrum. Different, other. Frau Schneider seems to be annoyed because Volker never sends girlfriends to her for dresses, and she wonders if this means he’s homosexual.
Please be wrong, Lenore, I silently beg. Please let Volker be gay. But then, why would he want me in his apartment and look at me in that hungry way if he didn’t like women? I watch the dressmaker work, feeling bereft, as I know she’s trying to turn me into something Volker wants to look at.
“Dark hair and brown eyes,” the woman says, looking up from the measurements she’s marked on a chart. “Cream would suit you. Mauve. Some tawny browns. Black.”
Lenore shakes her head. “Herr Oberstleutnant doesn’t like his secretaries in black.”
“Black, please. I want black,” I immediately say. Everything in black, preferably. I’m not going to sit around looking like a pretty doll for his benefit. Perpetual mourning would suit me better.
Lenore shoots me a look of disapproval and to my annoyance Frau Hoffman makes a note on the paper. “No black. So. Three dresses, three skirts, four blouses and a good coat. All winter weight and the blouses with long sleeves. How does that sound for a start?” She doesn’t say this to me, but to Lenore.
“Can you do two berets and two scarves, as well? Light and dark. Oh, and make the skirts short, won’t you?”
I jump in here. “No. Knee length, please.”
“Evony,” Lenore says, exasperated, holding up the magazine she’s reading and showing me a color picture of two models in very small skirts. It’s definitely a Western magazine. “Minis are in.”
In what? All I know is that Volker likes dark girls and their legs so I’d opt for a nun’s habit if I thought I could get away with it. “Knee length,” I insist to Frau Schneider, but I don’t think she’s paying attention to me.
The dressmaker waves at my clothes lying on the arm of the sofa. “You can get dressed now and then I’ll show you some designs.”
I reach for my blouse, suddenly feeling very tired. The stress of last night is catching up with me. “Look, you don’t need to. Just make them as you see fit. Simple and plain—and long.”
She stares at me, her eyebrows creeping up her forehead. “If you’re sure, but… Colors? Prints for the blouses, or plain?”
I’m fast running out of energy not to scream about how much I don’t care. “It’s fine. Whatever you think best. Where’s the bathroom, please?”
Frau Schneider points out the door and to the right, shaking her head slightly as if she still can’t comprehend me not wanting to pore over designs.
“Do you have anything Evony can wear now? I’d like to take her back to the office this afternoon looking…” Lenore trails off, seeming to search for a diplomatic way of saying that I look awful as I am. “Fresher.”
“I can probably dig something out that a customer didn’t come back for…”
I head out and find the bathroom, lock the door, and sink down onto the closed lavatory. I feel like I’m in one of those dreams where you talk and talk and no one listens to what you’re saying, except all the words are in my head and I have no one to whom I can scream them. I feel my gorge rising and struggle to breathe—
Calm down. You need to keep your wits about you if you’re going to spot the right opportunity. Where’s the guard? Does this apartment have a back door? I take a few steadying breaths, get up and open the bathroom door slowly.
And feel a thud of disappointment. The guard is right there, waiting for me. All right, now is not my opportunity. But soon. It will come soon, I have to believe it will. I will get lucky and Volker will be unlucky. He can’t keep me captive forever.
Head held high I push past the guard and go back to the living room. Frau Hoffman has several skirts and blouses for me to try on, and a lilac silk shirt and camel A-line skirt fit best. Lenore holds out her hands for the garments. “Take them off again and let’s go and get the other things you’ll need. There are some shops near here. I’ve paid Frau Schneider for the order.”
“Can’t I just wear these now?” I’m tired of pulling clothes on and off.
“No, later. We’ll go back to my apartment and get you fixed up properly. Herr Oberstleutnant won’t know you.” Lenore gives me a broad smile.
Not know me. That would be nice. But I do as I’m asked.
Frau Schneider puts the skirt and blouse into a bag, along with another blouse of white silk, and gives it to me. “May as well take that one, too, as the fit wasn’t so bad. I’ll have what I can delivered to Herr Oberstleutnant’s apartment in two days’ time, and the rest within the week.”