“I think so too, kitten.”
There’s something else I want to tell him, something much harder, and I feel tears come into my eyes again. “I have these urges to push you away. Make you angry with me. I don’t know where they come from.”
I want him to reassure me that he’s not going anywhere, but he can’t. Maybe my desire to push him away comes from a dread of how badly I will feel when he has to move on to another client. If he has to devote this much time to protecting me, how will he ever have time for me when he’s protecting someone else?
He looks down at me, his thumb stroking my cheek. “Maybe it’s a self-protective instinct. You’re afraid to feel too much in case you’re made a fool of for it.”
“Or I want to see how much you’ll put up with,” I say thickly.
He pushes my hair back from my face. “Babygirl. You can’t understand how good it makes me feel when I’m with you. There’s never any putting up with you.”
After a few moments of just sitting quietly together, he says, his voice a low murmur, “You’ve dealt with so much these last few weeks, and you’ve grown so much because of it. I’ve helped a little, I think, by being here to listen to you. But most of it has come from you. You want to be happy and to connect with people. No amount of discipline would make the slightest difference if you weren’t brave enough to want things to be better.”
I suppose there’s something in that, but I don’t think there can be many people as strong and patient as Dieter, and he does more than just listen. And I don’t just want Dieter to like me and be proud of me. I want him. But I don’t know if I can have him.
In this moment I do have him, though, and I tilt my head back to look at him. Lifting a hand I run my nails lightly down his chest, and at the same time begin to unbutton my shirt. His eyes catch on mine and he seems to sense my change of mood.
“Does it turn you on when you discipline me, daddy?” I whisper, my nails digging in a little deeper, and I see a flare of response in his eyes. He doesn’t say anything, just watches me as I touch him and continue to undress myself. When my shirt is open, exposing my bra and the tops of my breasts, I reach between our legs and feel the thick, hard rod of his arousal through his trousers. “Because I like it, you being stern with me. I even like it when you make me hot and sore.”
His grip on my ribs tightens as he caresses me and I arch back against him, inviting him to kiss me. But he doesn’t. His eyes flick to my bed, a muddle of sheets and frilly duvet. “Hot and sore, babygirl? How about you let me kiss it better.”
He half carries, half knee-walks me over there. I let him turn me about so I’m bent over the bed, and my heart’s racing, suspecting what he’s got in mind. My behind is still reddened and hot from the paddle, the stinging now a tingling warmth. He presses cool lips against each cheek, gently opening my knees with his own, and I smile into the blankets, half aroused, half apprehensive. He licks my inner thighs and I quiver under the slippery feel of his tongue. He delves deeper and his fingers spread me open, and then he’s licking the tight bud of my ass and the slide of his tongue against such a sensitive place is so different and strange and good at the same time.
“Adrienne?” he says softly, and I realize I’ve got the sheets balled in both hands.
Opening my eyes and looking behind me, I say, “Yes, daddy?”
“Want me to go on?”
A couple of times I’ve been asked if I want to try anal but it seemed too strange and drastic a thing to do with someone I barely knew or liked. With Dieter it still feels strange, but I’m eager to try something else with him while I can.
“Please, daddy.”
As he goes on licking me his fingers find my wetness and slip inside my pussy. I shift my hips back, wanting more. He laughs softly, his voice a warm buzz against my skin. “Greedy girl. Give me one of your hands.”
When I reach back with my right hand he places it on the flesh of my behind. “Hold yourself open for me. I like to look at you.”
His wet fingers move up to my ass and he’s made me so slippery that one of his fingers is able to push into my tightness. I know he’s looking at me, touching me in so intimate a place and it feels squirmy and good at the same time. He pushes deeper very slowly, until I feel he’s up to his second knuckle. He fucks me slowly with his finger, twisting and exploring, and suddenly all the tension in my shoulders melts away and I’m heavy against the bed.
“How does that feel, babygirl?”
I must murmur something incomprehensible as he laughs softly again.
“You are just such a good little girl after your spankings, aren’t you?” I hear the whir of his zipper and feel him ease himself out of his trousers as his finger keeps sliding in and out of me. To show him just how good, I arch my back further, spread myself wider, my face still pressed against the sheets. It’s so much easier to show him that I like what he’s doing than say it. I could lift my head and look at him and be brave, but I’m not that brave.
He presses the tip of his cock against my wetness, sliding it up and down so that it’s slippery, and I remember how thick he is when he’s hard. How does it even fit there? It must, because people do this all the time, don’t they?
Dieter must sense my sudden trepidation as he says, “I’ll be slow. Tell me if it hurts.” And then I feel his finger slide from me and then the silky bluntness of him pressing against my ass. He moves forward slowly, and for a moment nothing happens, and then I feel myself start to yield. He pushes in an inch or two and I feel a sting, but he pauses, waiting for me to relax again. When his hand reaches around to rub my clit my eyes fly open and I realize that I could come like this.
“Please don’t stop, daddy.” I take hold of his wrist with my free hand and, feeling brave, push back against him a little. The sting is still there, but it starts to ease a moment later as he surges forward and I feel filled up, even though I’ve only taken some of his length.
“Well, look at that,” Dieter murmurs, running a forefinger across my stretched ass. “My bratty girl with daddy’s cock in her ass. You’re so eager, little one. I want you to lean back onto me. Show me how much you can take.”
It feels so very slutty, doing what he says and moving like this, but I do, and the deeper I push against him the better it feels. He reaches forward to caress the back of my neck with a firm hand and as I ease back I find I’ve taken him all the way to the hilt.
“Keep going. Fuck yourself with my cock.”
I’m doing this? He’s the one who likes to be in charge. But I do what he says, and he moves his hand back to my clit and circles the swollen nub as I move back and forth on his slick cock. There’s an unexpectedly delicious golden feeling building deep inside me. I feel trapped by him, his cock so deep inside me, pinning me in place, and unfettered at the same time as he lets me move.