“Yes!” Anouk enthuses. “We’ve got a spare bed and there’s plenty of room.”
I don’t know about plenty, because the wagons aren’t that big, but I’m grateful for the offer. “Oh, thank you,” I say, and because I can’t think of anything else, I drink the water, glad to wash the dusty taste out of my mouth.
Elke casts her eyes over me, but in an interested way, not a where-are-your-shoes-you-weirdo way. “What is it you can do, ah…?”
“Ryah,” I say. “Well, I can’t do much actually. I could do a few things with Dandelion, but I had to leave her behind.” A lump comes into my throat, and I try to swallow it down. I was all right on the road when it was just Cale and me and the hot sunshine, but now that it’s getting dark and I’m among strangers, everything feels scary and lonely.
“I can’t wait to see what you can do. Maybe you can join Anouk and me with our horses. It would be even better with three of us. We can perform so many more things with three.”
But Dandelion, I think miserably. Hopefully I can make myself useful here by doing laundry or selling tickets. I would have liked to try performing, though.
There’s a campfire in the middle of the half-circle of wagons, and an enormous man is stirring a pot. He’s the strong man I saw on the wagons earlier today, I realize, and is covered in tattoos. He calls out that dinner’s ready, and people get up off the grass or emerge from the wagons, carrying tin plates and cutlery.
“I’m famished,” Anouk exclaims, and disappears into the wagon for a moment. She comes back with tin plates and cutlery for us. I like her clothes, too. They’ve got a flowing, bohemian look about them.
The three of us walk over to where everyone has gathered and wait in line for a plateful of stew and a hunk of bread. There are about two dozen people all together, plus four men I can see over in the next field, erecting a huge crimson and white tent with gold trim.
We sit on the grass, and Anouk introduces me to a brother and sister nearby. They’re called Aura and Arvid and are deeply tanned with black hair. They’re so serious that I’m surprised to find out that they’re jugglers.
While we eat, Cale comes back from the horses. The huge man passes him some stew, and they stand together, eating and chatting. I don’t say much to anyone but concentrate on my food. It’s a vegetable stew full of carrots and potato and barley, and it’s good.
A few minutes later I realize that Cale has come around the circle and is sat on Elke’s other side. He doesn’t speak, but I’m grateful for his familiar and comforting presence.
When he catches my eye, he smiles. I ask him, “What do you do here at the circus? I forgot to ask.”
He smiles wider. “Fetcher. Carrier. Broken bone-setter. Horse mucker-outer. General dogsbody.”
I thought he’d be one of the performers. It’s the way he carries himself, so confidently. And he’s so nice to look at.
“Stop it with your bullshit, Cale,” Elke scolds him. She explains to me, “It’s his circus. He’s the boss, and the ringmaster.”
“That’s what I said, ringmaster and general dogsbody,” Cale replies. “Who carts more horse manure around than me?”
Aura and Arvid have finished their dinner, moved off to one side and have started juggling skittles, throwing them back and forth between them. They add another, and then another, and soon there are too many to count and their hands are moving in a blur.
Cale gets up, and I notice he pats Elke’s shoulder affectionately as he moves away. We watch the siblings practice in the dusky light. A few more of the circus people go through routines on the grass or play cards.
“How long have you been with the circus?” I ask Elke.
Elke thinks for a moment. “I joined when I was twenty-one, which was four years ago now.” She blinks in surprise, as if she hadn’t realized it had been so many already. “It feels like yesterday.”
“Is Cale your boyfriend?”
Elke and Anouk stare at me, and then burst out laughing.
“What’s so funny?”
Elke shakes her head, still laughing. “Just the thought of Cale with me. Cale with anyone, actually.”
“Jareth is the love of his life, and Jareth is a jealous old nag,” Anouk adds.
If Cale was standoffish and quiet, I could see why they might laugh. But he’s so friendly and kind. He should be with someone. It’s horrible people like my father who should be alone forever.
Cale approaches Aura and Arvid and picks up a few skittles and joins in. All three start throwing them back and forth between each other in a steady rhythm. I wonder if he’s part of their act, but he seems to be only warming up with them as a moment later he catches a skittle and drops it to the ground, before quickly reaching inside his jacket. My eyes widen when I see he’s pulled out a knife. The blade is silver and the edge gleams wickedly. The black handle is decorated with silver. Cale drops another skittle and takes out another knife, juggling those one-handed while still keeping up with Aura and Arvid. When he’s dropped three skittles, he steps away from them and starts juggling the knives with both hands. Every few seconds, he draws another knife, the rhythm of his hand movements changing with each additional one. I count them as he draws. Six knives. All in the air at once, flashing red and yellow in the sunset.
“Why doesn’t he throw the knives to Aura and Arvid?” I ask Elke.
“Because juggling knives isn’t in their act,” she says, as if that explains everything. I’m still confused, though.