“I grieved.” The words were abrupt and raw and they hurt. “I thought she wanted to leave. That she didn’t want a life with me.” There was a different kind of pain in his words, the hurt that only comes from the abandoned. I lowered my hands, crossing my arms over my stomach, his pain too much on top of my own. “She left me. Took you from me. You don’t know how that feels.”
“Don’t I?” I questioned. “She took everyone from me.” I stumbled out the door blindly, not entirely sure where I planned on going, but unable to stay inside that dark bar a minute longer.
“Hang on there, Hellion.” A hand griped my arm and I twisted around to see Cord standing there. “Hate to say it, but Johnny might have gotten that nickname right.”
“Let me go,” I pleaded, no energy left to fight. “Please.”
His expression softened. “I want to show you something.” His lips tipped up into something that might have resembled a smile on another man, but just looked like a pained grimace to me. “Then I’ll take you to Noah.”
I nodded, too tired to argue. He led me to a motorcycle, handing me a helmet before cranking the engine. I grabbed the bars, too worn out to enjoy the ride as he took us to the edge of town, where a wide green lawn was dotted with gravestones. “Come on.” He started walking, his limp a little more pronounced than usual. “Nothing is ever as cut and dried as it seems.” He stopped in front of a stone that read, Ashley Mitchell.
“She was young,” I commented, confused.
“She was Johnny’s daughter,” Cord replied and my heart kicked. “She died of a drug overdose at seventeen. She took my daughter with her.” He led me to another grave a few rows over. “They laid her to rest next to my dad.” He looked at me. “Cash Hayes.”
“That was the year I was born,” I murmured, reading the date of death on Cash’s headstone.
“I don’t know what happened back then, but I do know Johnny loved Ashley and he loved us because he took us in when our dad died.” Cord stretched a hand toward me, letting it hover above my shoulder for a second before curling his fingers into a fist. “I didn’t know Moira. I have no idea what happened back then, but I promise you Johnny would have fought for you.”
“You love him,” I whispered.
“He’s family,” Cord contended. “And so are you.” I shook my head, not believing him. “Afraid so, kiddo. That’s how it works here.”
“Don’t call me kiddo,” I demanded.
“Fine, Hellion.”
“Don’t call me,” I paused, “You know what, never mind. It won’t matter.”
“Don’t even think about leaving,” Cord murmured dangerously. “I won’t let you.”
I scowled at him. “Weren’t you just telling me you’d escort me to the state line if I hurt Noah?”
“Yeah, but things are different now. You’re family.” His face darkened. “Trust me when I say, leaving solves nothing.”
“I wasn’t going to leave,” I shouted in exasperation. “I love Noah.” I stopped, clapping my hand over my mouth. “I can’t believe I just told you that.”
“It’s not like I didn’t already know,” he replied, smirking. “Just make sure you tell him that.” He nodded his head to the side and I turned to see Noah striding toward us. “And don’t write Johnny off. He’s a damn good one to have in your corner.” Cord walked away before I could answer and I moved to meet Noah.
“I love you,” I blurted out as soon as he was in earshot. “Leroy is my grandfather and Johnny is my dad.” I took a deep breath. “How was your day?”
“I love you too,” he answered cautiously. “I suspected about Leroy, but Johnny? Didn’t see that one coming.” I sank down, sitting on a headstone. Noah followed, taking my hand. “Want to talk about it?”
“What’s there to say?” I stared across the cemetery, but the emotion bubbling up inside me couldn’t be silenced. “You know, I’m mad. Mad at my mom.” I turned to Noah desperately. “Why am I so mad at my mom?”
His lips twisted downward. “Because she isn’t here to explain why.”
“That makes sense,” I croaked, sucking snot up my nose, before glancing at him. “You sound like you speak from experience.”
“Years of asking myself the same question about my dad,” he acknowledged. He rubbed his thumb under my eye, catching a tear that had escaped. “She did the best she could with what she had and in my opinion, she did a damn fine job.”
“I don’t know why I’m so upset its Johnny and not Cash.” I shrugged helplessly. “It’s not like I knew either one of them.”
Noah’s smile was more of a grimace as he said, “Cash is dead, and Johnny,” he glanced at me apologetically, “Well, Johnny is Johnny.”