A million things run through my mind—what is he doing? Where did he go? Is he coming back to me? My heart breaks at the thought. What if we’re over? People don’t break up that easily, do they? We moved in together. He told me that he loved me. It can’t just end. I have to explain.
I’ve texted him a dozen times with no response. I tried calling a bunch, too. Each time it went straight to voicemail.
I googled Gio, also known as Goliath. Maybe everyone is right. I have no freaking street smarts. As much as I love the city, maybe the city isn’t meant for someone like me. All I keep doing is messing up.
Goliath is known as the bad boy of the UFC world. I rolled my eyes at the term bad boy, but it seems that’s what he is. He’s always getting into trouble because he’s doing outrageous stunts for publicity. He was so nice with me, but it was all bull crap. I’m terrible at reading people.
My stomach is in knots and I’m filled with dread. I don’t care if I’m not made out for the city, but what if I’m not made out for Bear? If I’m not equipped to handle his lifestyle, then what does that mean?
This was the second time he’d gotten into it with someone over me. First with the guy at my door and now the owner of the diner. My aunt’s stories about my father being aggressive and angry enter my mind. She said he always fought with people over my mom. That my mom was always trying to make him jealous and then they would get in these huge fights but end up back together. I didn’t want that with Bear, but maybe I’m more my mother’s child than I knew.
I glance around Bear’s apartment wondering if he’s regretting asking me to move in. When I came back home after he left I wasn’t sure which apartment I should go into at first. I finally decided on his because I wanted to be here when he got home. I had to tell him what really happened. That I had no idea who Gio was.
I feel guilty that once again my naïve ways have gotten us into trouble, and I’m sad that Bear would think I’d ever betray him. He means more to me than anyone else in the whole world. I love him. I hope he still feels the same. It’s so hard to think of a life without him now, even though we haven’t known each other that long.
I pick up my phone and dial his number, but it goes straight to voicemail again. I debate calling Tasha and asking her to come over. She called a few times, but I haven’t picked up. I kept thinking Bear would walk through the door and I could sort all of this out.
As I think that, there’s a knock on the door and I rush over, pulling the front door open. Tasha and Rico are standing there and I fling myself at Tasha.
“I swear I’d never cheat on him. I don’t know what happened,” I tell her, and I feel her arms fold around me.
“I never thought you did.”
“Let’s go inside, you two,” Rico says as he pushes us both back into the apartment.
“You believe me?” I look up at Tasha with tears in my eyes.
“You wouldn’t do anything you thought might hurt someone, Pep. I mean, you gave that man your cherry, for god’s sakes.” She wipes at a tear that rolls down my cheek. “Come on.” She drags me over to the sofa to sit down. I glance over at Rico, who’s watching the two of us.
“Do you think I did?” I ask him. He and Bear are best friends.
“I think Gio is a slick motherfucker,” he says, not really answering my question.
He looks like he wants to say more, but he doesn’t. He pulls his cell out of his pocket and starts messing with it.
“Have you talked to Bear?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “He’s not answering.”
I feel both relieved and worried that it’s not just me he isn’t talking to. Maybe he needed some air or to talk to his publicist to deal with all of this.
“I don’t think Bear believes me,” I whisper, looking back to Tasha. “He was so upset. I didn’t want to stay in the taxi, but I didn’t want to make things worse either. I wanted to go with him.”
“It’s going to be okay.” She gives me a sympathetic smile.
“When you saw the pictures you knew that I wouldn’t do that, right?”
“Of course!” Her response is instant.
“Then how come he didn’t? I’ve never been closer to anyone in my life than him. How come he didn’t know-w?” I stumble over the words as more tears escape.