Even in my whirling confusion, the very idea almost made me giggle. Him, with some tiny bone china cup of oolong and a cucumber finger sandwich, as we chatted about the weather?
“No, I…” I stammered, all flustered and blushy. “I suppose that would be…”
“What I am going to do is marry you. As soon as fucking possible.”
Marry me! I inhaled deeply to try to get my wits back about me. It wasn’t working. The room was spinning, not with an impending fainting spell, thank goodness, but with the sudden and overpowering happiness that I felt. “You are?”
“Fuck yes,” he growled. “You’re the love of my life. You are the only thing that matters. Everything I have, everything I am, is yours.”
Looking down at his handsome face, at this brawny beast of a man pledging himself to me on bended knee, I tried so hard to remember why I’d told myself it wouldn’t work. All those barriers seemed so insignificant now, compared to this love that I felt for him. And yet, my past self was not foolish. There was one thing, that one terrible thing, that still would stand between us.
“Vasile…”
As if he’d known just what I was thinking, he cut me off at the pass.
“You are my very last gamble, Valeria. It’s all or nothing. It’s you or nothing.” Hooking his finger beneath his collar, he pulled a pale-yellow ribbon that I recognized at once. He slipped it over his head and held out the ring that he’d given me. That beautiful, sparkling, exquisite ring that I had thrown back at him in my fury and fear. He slipped it onto my finger, and took my hand in both of his. Then he looked back up at me, with those bedroomy, sexy eyes, and said, “Marry me, beautiful. Do me the honor. Please.”
I gripped his hand hard, blinking rapidly to try to clear my thoughts, but there was nothing I could do to stop the tears spilling down my cheeks.
I was so, so close to just blurting out that single simple word, yes. My heart said yes, my mind said yes, but I also felt like I was barreling full speed into a blizzard without thinking. I had made so many mistakes, I had taken so many risks, that I’d lost the stomach for it.
“Let me… please just let me think about it,” I said. “Let me have some time.”
He looked so hurt and wounded that it took my breath away, and nearly made me change my mind at once. All these emotions, all these surprises, it was too much for me and I felt myself growing weak and clammy. I tottered slightly backwards and Vasile stood up to support me.
“Sit. Sit down. Are you okay? Please don’t fucking tell me you’re going to pass out again.”
“No,” I said. “No, no. Just… I’m just so weak.” I lowered myself down cautiously onto the chair where I had been sitting.
Vasile looked at me with complete focus and concern. “I’ll go to the kitchens and get you something to eat. You stay here. Don’t move. Understood?”
I nearly groaned with a sudden rush of unexpected desire. That was the tone he’d used with me in the bedroom, when he ordered me, commanded me. Ruled me and made me obey.
“Yes,” I whispered. “Understood.”
He leaned down and kissed my cheek. It felt so good to have him close again; it felt so right. I had missed him so, so much. But before I could reach out to embrace him, he stepped away, leaving the room with heavy, authoritative footfalls.
And there I sat by the fire, with my whirling thoughts.
CHAPTER 35
Valeria
“Valeria?”
A voice I half-recognized made me turn in my chair to face the door. It was Natasha, looking stronger now than the last time I’d seen her, when she was just a shadow of herself. So thin, so gaunt, so pale.
“You’re here!” I said, reaching out for her. “I hoped you would be! I’d heard they’d taken you in.”
“Vasile. Francis. And Daniel,” Natasha said. “He’s been… very kind to me. All of them.”
I had expected her to rush to me, to take me in her arms like we had so many times before, but she stayed back and eyed me suspiciously. She reminded me of a half-feral cat, untrusting and skittish. But it was just so good to see her, my oldest friend
“The family took me in. I’ve been helping Mrs. Greengallow.” She seemed embarrassed, smiling to herself as she added, “It’s a little like having my mother back. Not that anyone could replace her, but I think she’d like me to be happy helping out around here.”
“That’s so good to hear, Natasha. I’m glad. Truly.”
She stopped and stared at me, nodding a little, but all the time fussing with the hem of her sleeve, picking at the threads, rubbing the fabric again and again.