Vasile eased down onto me, letting my hips take some but not all of his massive weight. He brushed aside my tears. Though he was being tender, he still looked furious. And who could blame him? It had become nearly a daily occurrence that I either tried to bolt or fight him tooth and nail. Still, I wouldn’t apologize for it. He’d have done the same if our roles were reversed, I was certain of it. I never apologized to an opponent in fencing and I wouldn’t do it with him.
Greedily, hungrily, he slipped one of his hands behind my head, keeping it off the snowy ground, and pulled me in for a kiss. But I was still so angry and upside down that even that was unwelcome, and I tried to shove him off of me, keeping my lips tight and my cheek turned.
“Leave me alone!” I growled, clawing at him and kicking hard to get him away from me. “How dare you think you could just kiss me and make it all better!”
He recoiled from my wild lunges and squirms just enough for me to open up my hand and connect ferociously with his cheek. The crack of my palm against his face rang out through the still forest air. The sting of the slap shocked me as much as it shocked him and he stared at me with a look in his eye that absolutely petrified me. So much anger, so much fury. So much need and love and hate.
I saw something break loose inside him, like a beast being uncaged. With both hands he tried to yank down my britches and I fought him even harder, well aware of his powerful erection pushing into me though his pants. I could see in his eyes what he was thinking—I was his, and he was going to take me. By force if that was what it took.
I froze, stuck between yes and no. Between wanting and fearing. The idea of him doing that, of him taking me against my will… it was almost too forbidden a thought to let my mind glide over. And yet, and yet…
He hovered over me like an animal about to go in for the kill. My bare ass pressed against the snow. He was one tug away from my pants being completely off.
“Don’t you dare!” I snarled at him, my shrieks echoing through the wintry air. “Don’t you dare!”
For an instant, I didn’t know if he would listen to me. His hunger looked unstoppable. Ruthless and terrifying.
The fire in his eyes made it clear that he didn’t know what he was about to do either. And I too was torn between wanting to be forgiven…softly.
Or punished. Violently.
But suddenly he took a deep, steadying breath. That wild danger that I’d seen in him dissipated, just slightly, and he shifted his weight so he sat up more fully on his knees, putting some distance between us. He let go of my britches and pressed his hands to his face.
“You make me fucking crazy,” he said into his palms.
“Not as crazy as you make me,” I said. “Gangster. Mobster.”
Disentangling his body from mine, he yanked my pants back up and brought me back up to sitting, helping me to slowly get my head back up above my heart. Then, after a moment, he helped me up to standing as well. Keeping his arm tight around me, he led me back through our scuffed tracks toward where his horse stood. From his saddle bag, he took a length of rope and turned to me. The muscles of his jaw flexed and fluttered impatiently.
“When you have my ring on your finger, then are you going to stop fighting me so goddamned much?”
Setting my teeth, I stared up at him. “Probably not.”
“Listen. I’m re-joining the business, yes, but things are going to change. That was my condition. My father wants the same things I do. I’m going to put a stop to the less savory parts of the business. It will take time, but Jesus, again Valeria, trust me, will you? I will do what’s right and best for us. For my family.”
“What about Petre? He’s just going to all the sudden be a law abiding citizen?”
“Don’t worry about Petre. With my father behind me, he will fall in line, or we will take care of making sure he does.”
“I don’t know, Vasile.” I glared at him, unsure, but in my core I believed what he was saying. “Okay, I trust you.”
I watched him exhale a sigh of relief.
“Promise me. Because, honest to fuck, Valeria, I love this side of you but I can’t be worried about losing you all the motherfucking time. It’ll make me insane.”
That, at least, made sense to me. Every time I ran, I was making him question how I felt about him, which wasn’t what I wanted. Not at all. And so I looked him in the eye and nodded.