Ouch. That stings.
“So thank you, Ali. I would’ve regretted being with you.”
There’s a difference between being praised for making the right decision and getting stomped on as if you don’t matter. True to form, Harley has no damn clue how to consider other people’s feelings before opening his stupid mouth.
Somehow, I manage to hold the tears back that threaten to roll down my cheeks as I turn to face him. Who needs coffee to fully wake up when you can just get slapped in the face with words?
“Do you have plans with Aria and your parents today?” My voice is strong even though I don’t feel an ounce of actual strength right now.
He tilts his head as if he’s confused about the subject change.
“Do you have plans today?” His question comes with that same hint of jealousy I heard yesterday while standing in the bathroom.
Oh no, Mr. Asshole, you do not get to have your cake and eat it to.
My agitation grows, but I once again shove it down, something I’ve had to perfect being around this man.
“It’s Sunday, and considering you’re home, I figured I can have a real day off while you take care of your child.”
His jaws ticks.
“I’ll be heading to work early in the morning, but if you want to sleep in, I can take Aria to the daycare with me.” I pause. “That’s right, you don’t trust me to drive her, so I guess you can bring her in when you feel like it. I will remind you that my shift ends at four p.m., and unless you’re working, I’ll need you to pick her up then.”
He stands from where he was leaning over with his forearms on the counter. “What is this? You no longer want to be around her? Are you really the type of person to punish her because you’re mad at me?”
“I’m not mad,” I assure him. “But it seems our roles in this entire situation have gotten a little blurry. You’re back home and settled in. I think it’s probably best if I moved into the empty room at the clubhouse.”
His head jerks back as if I’ve slapped him.
I move to go around him, but he crowds my space, forcing me backward if I plan to not touch him. Eventually, my back hits the counter, and I’m stuck.
The tears I’ve managed to hold back threaten with more force, and I let my eyes close when he lifts my chin, expecting me to look at him. The warmth of his forehead presses to mine, and I still can’t open my eyes to look at him.
The argument I formed in my head is battling with the need to be wanted, to give in to whatever he may suggest, but I also can’t forget what he said.
I’ve regretted having sex with a guy before, but it doesn’t carry the same weight he was talking about only minutes ago.
“I don’t know what this insane attraction is I have for you. I’d stop it if I could.” The words come from a broken man. I can hear the pain he’s in, feel it radiating off his skin.
I want to hold him, to beg him to let me in, but I know that would never happen. Boomer and Grace were right about what this is, both his anger and the words he’s saying right now.
It’s not exactly me that he needs.
“You just need to get laid,” I say, my thoughts slipping from my lips. “I can’t be that person for you. It complicates things too much.”
He doesn’t try to stop me when I slip around him and leave the kitchen.
Chapter 24
Harley
Although desperate to go after her and argue that she’s wrong, I just can’t do it. My mother’s suggestion, that I speak with her before having even a physical relationship with Ali, echoes in my head. It doesn’t feel like it would just be physical, but my emotions are all over the place.
I wasn’t lying when I told her I’d regret having sex with her if things went that far yesterday. The words were true when I spoke them, but having her shut me down and the way it makes me feel has me wondering if I was wrong. Maybe there is something more than the need for her body. I definitely want that, but I can also admit to feeling something else as well.
“I’m so sorry for yesterday,” Ali says, but she’s too far away to be speaking to me.
“Don’t worry about it, dear.” That’s my mother’s voice.
I knew they were coming early. They wanted to spend time with Aria outside before it got too hot.
“We’re heading to the park for a walk. Would you like to join us?” She must shake her head because then Mom says, “Well maybe next time then.”
Dad walks into the kitchen a second later, a frown marring his normal jovial face.