I groan at the feel of his hot skin against my fingertips, wanting to feel that same warmth touching every inch of my naked skin.
I smile against his lips when Aria giggles in the living room, but it doesn’t have the same effect on him.
With a hiss, he pulls back, glaring at me as if I’ve wronged him in some unfathomable way as he uses the back of his hand to swipe at his mouth. His eyes are wide, angry, and I know the outburst I was expecting over initially not taking the money is right there at the surface. More noticeable right now, however, is the regret swimming in those darkened green eyes of his.
“Don’t ever kiss me again,” he snaps.
“Okay,” I agree quickly.
Pointing out that he was the one to instigate the lip-lock wouldn’t benefit anyone right now. Nothing good will come from mentioning that he’s the one who lifted me, the one who pressed his erection against my center. The man doesn’t reason on a level playing field and conceding to his demands is best for now.
In a blink he’s gone, the roar of his motorcycle starting up in the driveway waking me from my haze of kiss-drunk stupor.
The kiss knocked me senseless. It was hands down the best kiss of my life, and despite knowing what his reaction was going to be, I’d do it all over again just to have the experience.
Aria squeals in delight again, spinning in circles in the middle of the living room.
My grin this time is only half of what it was before Harley came into the house, but I refuse to let that challenging interaction taint my day with his daughter. She brings me such joy even when her daddy is acting like a jerk.
Moving away from the scene of what Harley no doubt sees as a crime, I leave the kitchen and join the little girl in the living room, turning on the television to a cartoon just to try to quiet the thoughts in my head. Absently, I brush my fingers over my lips, either trying to remember what happened or trying to forget it. I can’t really decide. I guess I’ll be going back to avoiding him at all costs, but I get the feeling I won’t have to put in much effort. The way he looked after he pulled away said he plans to do the exact same thing.
Chapter 16
Harley
Maybe it’s the differences between Ali and Lana that make me lose my head so much. Maybe it’s because when I see her, I don’t immediately think of my wife until my head starts comparing their differences.
An agonizing sense of betrayal swarms around inside of me like a mob of angry bees. Only after I backed away did it feel like cheating. In the heat of the moment, my mouth on hers felt like the warmth I’ve been yearning for. In the aftermath of that heated kiss, I feel sick with literal pain in my gut.
The fact that I can’t stop reliving it over and over makes the agony tangle around my heart.
Right now, Lana’s death doesn’t matter in a sense that kissing another woman isn’t technically the wrongdoing I perceive it to be. Those thoughts, the ones of me moving on, never crossed my mind until Ali, so my head is trying to convince me that it’s her fault. She’s the reason I’m feeling the way I do right now.
“Fuck!” I snap, throwing a rock into the lake. It skitters across the top instead of immediately sinking to the bottom like I wanted it to. It’s just one more failure on my part.
I failed at keeping Lana safe.
I failed at comforting my daughter.
I failed at keeping my mouth and hands off of Ali.
I didn’t mean to kiss her, and despite telling her not to kiss me again, I know I was the one to set that train in motion.
I won’t lie to myself and say that I didn’t mean for it to happen. I thought about it from the second she gently refused my offering of money, and let the scenario play over and over in my head until I made that move.
I wanted to get a reaction out of her. I wanted her to push me away and be shocked at how brazen I was acting.
I didn’t anticipate pressing my mouth to hers and having the visceral, animal reaction I had.
I certainly didn’t expect to spring an erection and then press it against her in desperation for that sort of connection.
I didn’t expect to like it as much as I did.
Just like now, wanting to do it again, only this time naked and in a way that wouldn’t be witnessed by my young daughter.
I scrape my frustrated hands over the top of my head, barely resisting the urge to fist my hair and rip it out by the roots.