My mom and dad divorced when I was just a little girl and once upon a time, I only saw my father once every year.
Now that I’m older, he insisted that I come and visit him. It only made sense at the time to take the assistant’s position that the sweet, sharp-tongued Mrs. Piper offered me.
Though now, standing outside of the grand dining room, I rest my weight on the wall to catch my breath, wondering if I should regret my decision.
It’s more than I ever anticipated and I doubt myself, feeling like a child in a room full of established adults. I’m only twenty-two years old, but it’s as if I’m a little girl again, reaching for things in high places that I can never have.
Magnus St. James is at least twice my age and he might just be the most attractive man I’ve ever met in my life. And it might sound crazy but I feel it deep in my bones that he’s the man I’ve been waiting for.
I was meant to be his and he was meant to be mine, no matter what.
He’s been away on business since I came here. Before that, I had only seen a picture of him, just one, in my dad’s apartment. In the picture, the two of them have their arms slung over each other, like brothers in arms. Their faces were stoic, but the affection between my dad and his best friend was palpable.
I wonder if I would think differently about Magnus if I had grown up beside him. But after a moment, I know. I would still feel this way about him.
Whatever I feel for him is much too strong.
I can feel my attraction for him burn in my core, and spread all the way from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. My entire body feels lit up just by knowing he’s in the same space I am.
I want him like I’ve never wanted anyone. No man, no short-lived attraction, has ever compared to the way I feel now about Magnus St. James. The man is much more than the picture, he’s like some sort of…
I take a deep breath, letting it back out again slowly through my nose. I look down at myself, smoothing down my skirt. Should I have chosen the longer one? He must think I’m so unprofessional from the way I flew around the room, giving out coffee like a barista.
What was I thinking when I took this job?
I want Magnus but he’s my dad’s best friend. He’s more of a man than any boy I’ve ever encountered. My last and only boyfriend was a flighty, vapid man if you can call him that, who only cared about himself.
I thank my lucky stars I never let him pressure me into falling into bed with him. I only regret wasting my time with him. He was the only one who ever paid any attention to me and I foolishly thought I could count on him.
But it didn’t take me long to decide that I deserved so much more than what he gave me, but now I know it for sure. I’m unsure of many things, but not that. I know my worth and I won’t settle for anything less.
Magnus is so much more. But would he even be interested in a girl like me?
“He’s not so very scary now, is he?”
I spin around on my heels as Piper appears beside me, looking coy.
“I don’t know about that,” I say, clearing my throat. “Did you need something from me— uh, ma'am?”
I cringe internally at my blunder, hoping she didn’t notice.
Piper just smiles, quirking one shapely eyebrow at me.
“Please do ask the cooks to have dinner ready by seven,” she tells me, patting my shoulder as she passes by. “I think I might take a before-dinner nap. Oh, Magnus would like to speak with you, my dear. Try very hard not to appear like a scared little mouse. My son is very much the hungry cat.”
“Wait, you want me to talk to…him alone?” I ask her, feeling a sudden rush of fear at the thought.
What if he doesn’t like me? What if I look like a fool in front of him when I want him so badly?
“You will never know unless you try, my dear,” Piper says as if reading my thoughts.
I want to say something, anything, but I don’t get the chance to.
Piper leaves me alone in the hallway in a quiet shuffle of stiff feet and soft fur. Great. What a helpful exchange.
My chest begins to bead with sweat. I take even breaths as I walk on my towering heels to the expansive office at the end of the hall, hoping I don’t trip and fall on my way there.
I hesitate at the large oak door before I raise my fist to knock, but a deep voice tells me to come in before I can even touch my knuckles to the wood.