The server comes over, sets a menu down on the table, but I come here often so I know exactly what I want. “Buffalo wings and a Bud Light please.”
A woman resembling Leslie’s picture is standing behind the waitress as she leaves. “Liam, right?”
I nod, taking in her appearance.
“Leslie. Nice to meet you.”
My first concern of the night is the very short, dark red dress, and heels that have to be five inches easily. Why do women feel the need to wear something so skimpy? It’s not a turn on for me. I try to overlook it and get to know her while enjoying my wings and a beer.
“So, what do you do?” I ask, hoping to start off the conversation so we aren’t just sitting here staring off into space. An easy way to see if you are compatible with someone is to see how the conversation flows. If there is constant dead air, then it’s probably time to find someone else.
“Accountant. Boring job. Can’t do it without a calculator though. Gotta triple check everything. You?”
Her profile says she works at a law firm, so did she lie? “Firefighter.”
She shoots a seductive smile, almost undressing me with it. “Oh really? Can I see you in uniform? Or better yet, help you out of it sometime?”
Really? A sex joke?I barely even know you, but that’s what people expect nowadays with all these apps that make it easier to just get laid instead of getting to know someone on a personal level. Not that I don’t enjoy sex. I do, but it’s not something I enjoy with just anyone who throws themselves at me. In fact, it turns me the fuck off.
“I don’t let women see the uniform, I’m saving that for my wife,” I reply, jokingly at first.
She looks at me. “You’re married?”
“No, my future wife. You seriously think if I was married, I’d bring her up on a date?”
Already she seems to be not of high intelligence and a part of me wants to go home, but I let her continue her story. “So, tell me about yourself.”
Instead of telling me about her career, or her children, she talks all about her ex-boyfriend who screwed her over, and even I know you aren’t supposed to bring up ex’s on a first date. Let alone bitch about them. It’s a tell-tale sign you aren’t over them.
“My boyfriend cheated on me with some skanky hoe, and he wanted me back. I can do better than him. I’ve been screwed over so many times, I lost track.”
It’s strike after strike; first the outfit and now the language. This goes on for about another half hour, my food is gone, and my beer is warm. It’s not that I don’t cuss, but most people come on a first date on their best behavior, and if this is her best, then I’m out. Not interested. “Listen, I think I’m gonna head home. It was nice to meet you.”
I flag down the server for the check, and drop twenty bucks on the table for her.
“Are you serious?” Leslie grabs her purse and gets up, pulling down her dress. “Let’s go.”
I cringe at the thought of her accompanying me home. She seems a little crazy, and I don’t need any more of that in my life. “I meant alone.”
She grabs my arm, “I’d like to go back to your place.”
“I’m not interested in sleeping with you, Leslie,” I say, bluntly.
It might be normal, sleeping on a first date, but that’s not me. Hell, even in my younger years, there had to be feelings there. Sex isn’t meaningless pleasure for me. That doesn’t mean I haven’t had one night stands before, but Leslie is not my type. Plus, I doubt she really has a degree from Penn State.
“And why the fuck not, you pompous prick?” Her hands land on her hips, and she’s looking at me through her fake lashes.
“For that right there. I’m looking for someone who doesn’t talk or act like that. Have a good night.”
She follows me at first, and I worry it might escalate, but she must have found someone else to prey on inside the bar, because once outside, I look back and she’s nowhere to be seen.
What a fucking nightmare that was. These guys are insane if they think this app is going to help me find my future wife. It’s probably like all the other dating apps that only have tinder mindsets and it’s all about sex.
Driving home, the Bluetooth alerts me that Aiden’s calling, so I press the answer button on the dash. “Hello?”
“Already done with your date? That bad, huh?” he laughs, and I can feel the judgement through the phone. “Why don’t you just give in? It’s been too long, and you are pent up, bro. Get some and maybe it’ll help.”
My brother is the womanizer and I swear, I don’t understand how he can sleep with a different girl all the time. I’d be worried about catching something. Hazel fucked him up in the head, and until he finally gets over her, looks like its one night stands.