6
Tessa
This is exactly whatI have been afraid of, getting close to him, and him not being emotionally available. It’s like he wants to, but who knows. Why did I put myself in this position when I know he still loves his wife? Grief is a tricky thing, especially when it’s your spouse, and the last thing I want to do is push him to move on before he’s ready. Yet, the way he stares at me, and then kisses me, shows he might be more ready than he thinks. The subtle touches, the intimate glimpses into my eyes, those mean something. I guess it’s best for me to be patient, get to know him on his terms, and hope that one day he’ll be able to let me in. Yet, I still have these doubts that maybe we are overstaying our welcome or putting too much pressure on him.
The next morning, we wake up later than normal, and Damon has already left for work. Maybe it’s for the best. We should discuss what happened last night, but later. If we aren’t on the same page, I don’t want my entire day to be ruined. I’m already going to have to deal with my ass of a boss, and that’s enough.
“Em, it’s almost time to leave. Can’t be late.” I raise my voice from the living room, using the dustpan to scoop up the dirt tracked in from Damon’s boots.
Nothing can prepare me to go back to work today. The days off have been great, but my boss is an imbecile. As frequently as I wish to quit, it’s my sole source of income, and we are already without our own place to live. No need to make matters worse.
“I’m dressed, Mama,” Emily says, striding out into the living room in her pink leggings, a long-sleeve princess shirt, and fuzzy jacket picked up from Goodwill.
We lock the door behind us and head toward the school. Emily is always wanting to skip half the way, and this morning I just have no energy. I’ve got to start sleeping better.
As we reach the school, Emily hugs me. “Have a good day, Mama.”
My walk to work leaves me deep in my thoughts. What is going to happen when we move out? Damon seems adamant that he will be around, but to what degree? He says he thinks about me, but is he really ready to move on? All I know is, he’s the first good guy I’ve come across in three years, and he truly cares for Emily.
The automatic doors open, and I walk inside, knowing my day is about to get significantly worse.
“Where have you been?” my boss, Kevin, asks.
“My shift doesn’t start for another ten minutes,” I say, striding past him to the back room. His favorite thing is to bring up the fact I’m a single mom and need the job. Why does that give him the right to be an asshole?
“No, you were expected to be here at eight thirty. When’s the last time you looked at the schedule?”
Admittedly, it was on my last shift before the fire when he put it up in the breakroom. Shouldn’t he alert us if the schedule changes? How else would I know to be here at a different time? “Monday. It said nine. Haven’t had a shift since,” I counter, walking away.
“Well, it changed. So you’re late. Again. If you can’t be on time, then I’ll find someone else to replace you. I don’t accept tardiness; you know that.”
I want to spit in his face, because he barely shows up except to yell at his employees. He is a complete bastard and I can’t wait for the day when I don’t have to see his sexist ass again. “And how was I expected to know it changed, huh? If I wasn’t scheduled until now?”
“Not my problem. I don’t appreciate your attitude.”
I saunter away and defy the urge to flip him off while clipping my name tag on. Why does he have to be such a complete asshole all the time? He wonders why he can’t keep employees; this is the reason. I punch my time card and make my way up to the register and drown him out.
“Excuse me, ma’am. Could you tell me where the chips are?” a male voice says.
“Aisle eight,” I respond without looking up.
“You’re Tessa, right? You remember me from the fire?”
I glance up at him. “Oh, Liam... Damon’s brother.”
“You and your daughter still staying with my brother? He driving you crazy yet?”
Maybe I can pick his brain about Damon, if I had time. “He’s been a great help.”
“Yes, you’ve had quite an impact on him. He seems happier with you two around.”
Over the intercom, Kevin says, “Get back to work.”
Liam laughs. “Have a good day. Don’t want to get you in trouble.”
Are you freaking kidding me?Tonight, I will start looking for another job. One that offers a little bit more money too. That would be a blessing. The only problem is I can only work during the hours of school because childcare is too costly. They really screw single parents over. It doesn’t make any sense to send the kid to daycare for a hundred and fifty dollars or more a week when that’s most of my paycheck, if not all. So after paying them, we wouldn’t be able to afford to pay rent, insurance, or anything else.
The next few hours fly by, with no more communication from Kevin. I’m still in shock that he came over the intercom system to yell at me in front of customers. Who the hell does he think he is? Even Liam seemed put off by it.