An’ God kens they’ve been needin’ some happiness since me Daddy died.
She’d have to speak with the twins and have them return the book to her before she left, without Alexander knowing. She knew they had several hiding places, but she did not trust more than a few of them while Alexander was poking around, and she wasn’t there with them.
I’ll hide it in me room. To be safe. They’ll nae let him go in there, an’ I dinnae think he would go without me anyway.
She spoke with the men a little longer, setting plans for the morrow, then excused herself to find the twins. To nobody’s surprise, they were not asleep yet as they should be. They seemed very excited by the game of hide-the-book. Jamie made Cicilia close her eyes while he fetched it, and they both grinned widely as she hid it under her bed.
She sent them back to bed, made sure they were tucked in warm and safe, and then returned to her own room.
After she had prepared for bed, Cicilia lay awake for a long time, the events of the day refusing to relent enough for rest. Who could have done such a thing as all of this? It made no sense, none at all. The o
nly people she did not know on her own land were some of the hired laborers the farmhands sometimes subcontracted.
But how could one o’ them have so much hate as to do this? Surely they’d prefer their wage? An’ besides, they’re all vouched for.
It was a puzzle, and while Cicilia was often fond of puzzles, this one frustrated her in its apparent complete absence of a solution. What were the other variables?
The village was two hours away, the farm market even further. Besides that, there was hardly anything in the vicinity at all.
She frowned. She’d never sleep if her thoughts kept along these lines.
What else is there to think about?
The answer came more quickly than she would have liked to admit. There was barely a pause in her thoughts as they turned to the Laird, and his softness today—even though only the previous night, they’d argued. He’d soothed her and held her, and also offered to pay for some of the damage.
An’ it was nae just charity. He kens I’ve got me own money. He just genuinely wants to help.
And the way he’d spoken to the twins about their father! Cicilia had embraced him because she had no other way to express the gratitude and affection she felt towards him for that. Given half a penny, she might have kissed him, too.
Her cheeks shone crimson in the dark at the thought. Being so close to a man, being held in strong arms and feeling his taut muscles through his nightshirt…it had once again caught her off guard.
Cicilia’s mind may be sensible, but her body was not. At the thought of being held in those arms once more, at allowing herself to be vulnerable just once, her heart started to race.
He was the Laird, and he was a better man than she’d thought. A good man, even. But that was all it would ever be. She’d only known him for four days, and no matter how good, he was still a threat. Besides, she was much too busy to be getting her mind in a tangle over a man!
But she wanted him, physically. She had since he’d caught her in the stables, since the first time they’d argued. It embarrassed her and fascinated her because this…this was not something she was used to.
Have I ever wanted to explore these things so much? How do I make it stop?
Well, there was no point worrying about it now. It was naught but a passing fancy. Once Alexander had decided what to do with her farm, he would hopefully leave Cicilia and her land alone for good.
And so she tried to sleep instead, secretly hoping that perhaps she’d return to last night’s pleasant dream with the dark-haired stranger and the ballroom.
At least in her dreams, there was no need for concern. Not about anything.
Chapter 12
Adoquatio Rei et Intellectus
Correspondence of Mind and Reality
Was it a dream or a memory? Cicilia wasn’t sure, but it soon stopped mattering as she settled into the mindset of herself at eight and surrendered to the illusion.
Daddy and Mammy were late in the fields again. They didn’t have much land yet. However, Daddy had promised Cicilia that when they’d made enough money, they’d buy all the surrounding acres and have animals of all sorts. Mammy agreed, adding that they’d even be able to hire some more farmhands, too.
“Really?” Cicilia said excitedly. “An’ then ye’ll be able to spend more time wi’ me!”
“Tha’s right, chook,” Daddy told her. “But until then, ye have to sit tight.”