“Ye were afraid of bein’ hurt again.”
The tears finally spilled over, rushing down her now flushed cheeks. She did not sniffle and refused to wipe them away. She just continued. “I ken ye said that I shouldnae worry about ye and the arrow was most likely from a hunter, but I cannae help myself.”
Matthew reached out a grasped her hand. He would not tell her about the wine. That would only make her more concerned and that was the last thing she needed right now.
“I think about the pain I went through when Murdock died,” she continued, “and the thought that I might go through that again—”
She broke. Completely broke, and he instantly gathered her in his arms. Jonet sobbed against his chest, gripping his shirt as her tears soaked through. “I-I’m sorry.”
“Daenae apologize,” he said tenderly. He broke. Her tears, her sob… it brought in to focus how real her pain was. Yet he had come here to exploit it, just to get what he wanted. Guilt coursed through him, but he tampered it, focusing instead on what he could do for her now.
“I daenae usually cry like this,” she murmured. She tried to pull away though he would not let her go.
“Cry all ye want, Jonet. Ye have every reason to.” He stroked her hair. “It’s just us. Ye can let it all out.”
“I shouldnae be cryin’ so much,” she relaxed in his arms. “I’ve had six years to get over it.”
“And now ye think there is a chance ye might have to relive it all over again. Anyone would be afraid.” He pulled away, tilting her chin up so she could look at him. Even with red-rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks, she was a vision that hit him straight in the gut. With both lust and guilt. “It’s completely understandable.”
She sniffled, peering back up at him. “And you daenae think I’m bein’ completely irrational?”
“Maybe a little—” At her narrowing eyes, he chuckled. He pressed a kiss on her forehead, to smooth it away. “I daenae think ye’re being irrational at all. You have every reason to avoid me. But,” he kissed her there again, “I willnae let that happen. Yer heart willnae be broken again.”
“I hope nae.”
He bent his head lower and captured her lips with his. She didn’t pull away; didn’t stiffen despite all she had said. Jonet leaned into him instead and as he tasted her salty tears on her lips, he made himself a promise that he would never hurt her.
She pulled away, a faint smile on her face. “Is givin’ me a kiss yer solution to everythin’?”
“It is very effective, daenae ye think?”
“A bit,” she murmured with a confirmative nod. Matthew was simply happy she was not pulling away from his arms. “Ye have a way with words, Matthew, and with yer lips.”
“My, my, Jonet, how naughty of ye to say.”
“I may be a little wild in more ways than one.”
Her words punched him straight in the gut. Matthew watched her grin, as if she heard the moment his heart started pounding. Before he could say anything, she let out a wide yawn.
“I dinnae sleep much last night,” she stated, shifting over. She rested her head on his lap. “I’m exhausted.”
“Ye intend to sleep right here?” he asked, surprised.
She turned her head to look up at him with a raised brow. “Aye, do ye have a problem with that? Or are there other things ye would rather do?”
Why am I getting’ so flustered all a sudden? I’ve never felt this way before.
She stared at him
expectantly as if she knew exactly what he was thinking… and was secretly enjoying it. Matthew swallowed, trying to bring himself back together. It suddenly felt as if she had taken control of the game he had been playing and now he was the victim.
I shouldnae have made her a victim in the first place.
That guilt came rushing back even as he nodded. “Sleep. It’s clear that ye need it.”
“How kind of ye to say,” she murmured, her lips lifting as she turned her head and closed her eyes. Her hair blanketed around her and he brushed a few loose strands from her cheek.
Jonet released a deep breath, her face going slack. He stared at her for a few moments and, before long, her breathing grew even and deep. She had already fallen asleep.