Chapter Nine
Ileantmyhead on the cold passenger window, watching the streetlights fly past as Alex drove home. The silence between us was deafening, both consumed with a swirl of different emotions at the hands of his brother and neither of us really wanting to talk about it.
Working for Will, I was always being watched and questioned. Like I wasn’t good enough. Like I hadn’t earned my place in his world. But I had earned it with more than blood. I knew it and more so, Will knew it too.
I glanced over at Alex, his knuckles white as he strangled the steering wheel. I had seen the fear in his eyes when Wesley stroked the pulse points of my wrists, imagining them tied in tight knots, bound together to never escape. I had seen the disgust as he watched Wesley’s fingers brush along my inner thigh, imagining him forcefully taking something from me for his pleasure. I had seen the anger toward his brother for doing nothing to stop the creep at the table, at being unable to save me from another monster wanting to cause hurt.
My sweet six-foot giant, with a hard exterior blanketed in beautiful and intricate ink and enough muscles to rival a mini hulk, had the biggest, softest heart of anyone I had ever met.
I reached over to peel off a hand from the tight grip on the wheel and took it in mine, trying to pull him out of whatever thoughts were causing him such distress that he’d likely need to see a dentist with how much grinding he was doing. I brushed my thumb over his knuckles, letting the familiarity wash comfort through us both. Turning his head, he offered a small smile. I squeezed his tattoo-covered hand and let out a breath.
“You did good tonight,” I reminded him, letting go of his hand in favour of turning up the heat in the cabin of his grey Dodge Ram. “And you didn’t lose as much money as I thought you would have.”
He huffed a laugh, letting go of the steering wheel completely to brush both hands through his dark faux hawk, causing the ends to stand up in different directions. “Will was right. I almost lost my head.”
“But you didn’t,” I said strongly, shifting in my seat to face him and watch the lights from the road cast shadows across his face in perfectly timed intervals. “You walked away and tried to calm yourself down. But I’m more capable than you and Will give me credit for. And you need to realise that.”
Alex sighed. “I know, but it doesn’t stop me from worrying.” He paused. “And Will’s a dick. He’s becoming more and more like my father every time I see him.”
A genuine smile crossed my face for the first time tonight as I thought about the boys’ dad - Mr. Henry Jones. He wasn’t a bad man, or a bad dad for that matter, but this world was his empire, and it took a certain type of person to control it the way Will did every minute of every day.
“Let’s not talk about it again,” I said, waving my hand dismissively as I kicked off my heels and tucked a foot underneath me. “It’s done, we got paid, and once you convert it to actual money, we are sitting pretty with five hundred thousand dollars in the bank.” This cheered Alex up. He flashed his panty-dropping smile, the dimple on his left cheek barely visible through the scruff he called a beard.
“Hell yes, Stevie baby, and if that thought doesn’t make me hard as fuck.” He dropped his hand to his crotch and cupped his junk through his black dress pants. I screwed up my face, covering it with my hands, all the while smiling to myself. Alex was out of his funk, not that they ever lasted long, and that made me stupidly happy.
Thirteen years old
“Dad’s still trying to push Mac into the family business alongside Will now that graduation is around the corner. Poor bastard hasn’t even finished high school yet and Dad’s already got his position lined up.”
“But I thought he didn’t want to join up?” I ask, thinking back to the many discussions the three of us had about Mac’s future since he was the oldest of our little group.
“You know my father.” Alex itches the back of his neck and shrugs. “He’s adamant that his three sons take up their rightful place,” he says, lowering his voice to mock his father’s party line.
“Your dad’s an asshole.” I laugh.
“So is yours!”
“Snap.” We both high five and laugh.
“Stefy, can we have ice cream?” the little voice belonging to my sister asks as she tugs at my sleeve, wanting my attention.
“Only big girls get ice cream,” Alex replies, crossing his arms over his chest, and peering down at Chris.
“I am a big girl,” she scoffs, stomping one foot on the floor, annoyed at the insinuation that she was anything but. “I’m almost into double digits, Alex, or can’t you count?” She holds up nine of her small fingers, wiggling them in his face.
It had been her birthday last week and her sass has appeared from nowhere. He chuckles and pulls her under his arm, scuffing her hair as she tries to swat him away. Her face is priceless when he lets her go; red and seething at him for messing up her long dark hair that I’d tied back in a braid similar to mine. She wouldn’t be annoyed for long, because in her eyes, Alex could do no wrong. I think she has a bit of a crush on him.
“Come on then, but only a little. And don’t tell Dad. We are going to order pizza soon, and I don’t want you to fill up before dinner and get in trouble,” I say, leading the both of them into our large kitchen. My sister drags herself onto the countertop and starts to take out three bowls from a cupboard in preparation for the ice cream.
A crash has my whole world slow to a snail’s pace. Chris’s little face is chalk-white at her mistake, her big blue eyes brimming with tears. I hold my finger to my lips and nod to Alex. He grabs her wrist and pulls her from the counter, sprinting from the room with Chris trailing behind him.
I bend down, trying to collect the broken pieces of china as quickly as I can, but a shadow in the doorway has me pausing, and my hand starts to shake.
“D-Dad?” I stutter, looking up at the man with fire in his eyes. “I didn’t know you were home.”
“So you thought you could just break priceless crockery and get away with it?” he seethes.
“I’m sorry, Daddy. It was an accident, please–” I try, but he doesn’t listen. He never listens. I can tidy this up, no harm done, but he wouldn’t accept that.
He’s in front of me in less time than it takes for me to take my next breath, grabbing my hand that’s still holding the broken tableware and squeezing it hard with his. The edges dig in, rupturing the skin. I whimper at the sting, but he presses hard again until I can see lines of red leak from the corner of my hand. He lets go and grabs my hair, pulling it roughly.
It hurts so much. One day, I swear he will pull it out from the roots.
Why does he always grab my hair?
“Daddy—”
“Stevie baby, wake up.” Alex gently nudged my arm once he turned off his truck. I opened my eyes, not realising I’d dozed off, and sweat prickled my neck as I looked around, confused. I turned my head to find Alex looking at me, a deep frown etched on his face. “Are you okay?”
“Just a dream, no biggie. I’m fine.” I gave him a tight smile and bent down, grabbing my heels in one hand before reaching for the door handle. Alex watched me through slitted eyes, almost sensing I wasn’t being completely honest. In truth, I wasn’t sure why I had that dream, but right now was not the time to start worrying about it. Seemingly happy to leave it for now, Alex closed his hand around the door handle and got out of his truck.
I gently closed the door behind me, hopping across the stone driveway in bare feet as I followed Alex up the porch stairs, and waited for him to unlock the front door. Attempting to swallow down the small ounce of dread that threatened to appear over the night terrors I’d had as a little girl, and the fear they were going to start back up again, I ignored the look of unease etched across Alex’s face. As I walked along the cold hardwood floor to my bedroom, I could feel his eyes on my back.
I closed the door and pressed my back into the wood with closed eyes. My heels clattered to the ground, and I exhaled a tired breath. I was exhausted, but no matter how much my body screamed for sleep, even if I tried, there was no way it would come.
I pushed off the door and reached around my back to the clasp at the top of the dress. I tugged at the tape keeping the dress in place, and let the material pool as it fluttered around my feet on the floor. All I wanted was my comfy clothes and a nice cold beer to decompress after a long day.
Pulling on shorts and a vest top, I gently put the wig back in its box and placed it in my wardrobe with the rest of my collection; ten perfectly stored wigs of different colours and styles, patiently waiting their turn in my crazy world.
I made my way to the kitchen, running a brush through my crimped black hair, briefly pausing as I noticed the faint flicker of light coming from outside in the garden. Then, grabbing two beers from the fridge, I made my way outside to join Alex, who was sitting by the firepit, vaping and throwing one of Rocky’s dog toys for him to fetch. His shirt hung unbuttoned, exposing his inked skin, and I rested one of the cold bottles against his chest, chuckling as he hissed at the sudden temperature change.
“You know you look like a jackass smoking that thing, right?” I asked, sinking down beside him on the couch and resting my feet on his lap while taking a mouthful of cold beer. A contented sigh left my lips as Alex started rubbing the insole of my foot with one hand. I adored my heels, but they did not reciprocate the same feeling.
He stared at me, taking a long draw from the silver vape, and blew the minty flavoured smoke at me as he rested it on the armrest.
“I’ve got to say, I love when you’re dressed up as your sexy personas like Grace or Saskia. Oh, especially Saskia,” he groaned mockingly, biting the edge of his bottom lip and running his hand down his bare chest to stop at his crotch. “But none of them are as good as my plain old Stevie.”
“Old?” I gave him a nudge with my foot, taking another mouthful of my beer and sinking further down on the outdoor couch, getting comfy. We both sat peacefully, watching my dog run across the yard, playing with his toys.
“Did you see Chris posted a picture of Nate winning his science fair project?” Alex questioned, breaking the comfortable silence save from the chirps of the crickets, and flashed a toothy grin. “That’s one smart kid she’s got there.”
I nodded in agreement. “Takes after his aunt.”
“Yeah, okay,” Alex snorted. “If I remember correctly, you flunked science at school?” He grabbed my foot and tickled the sole. I wriggled and let out a shriek, almost kicking him in his perfectly chiselled jaw while trying to get out of his grasp. I fucking hated my feet being tickled.
“How would you even know? We went to different schools, jackass.”
“I have seen a copy of your end-of-year report, and it said you failed chem and physics.” He shrugged, repositioning my feet back onto his thighs.
“I passed biology, though!” I argued, knowing full well biology is the easiest out of all three sciences. I thought of the picture my sister had posted on Instagram earlier today. My nephew stood posing with his first-place trophy, the look of embarrassment evident across his beautiful face as his mom wanted to gush at his accolade. The warm and fuzzy feeling I had quickly dissipated as another thought crossed my mind.
“Shame he’s looking more and more like that sick fuck every day.” Silence ascended after that heavy statement, and I got lost in dark thoughts while Alex continued to throw the dog toy out across the yard again. I looked up to the clear night sky, which shone with millions of sparkly dots. This was why we lived out in the middle of nowhere. No light pollution and no neighbours. Tranquillity at its finest.
“Nah, Stevie baby, Nate is one hundred percent all Chrissy.” He gave my leg a reassuring squeeze, pulling me out of the darkened spiral that was inevitable every time I thought of my nephew’s biological dad.
“Will dropped off a dress for the awards thing next week,” Alex mentioned, changing the subject to the task of Jacob Weston’s meet. I curled my lip in annoyance.
“When was this?”
“The driver brought it when you were away, out posting the snake through Wesley’s letterbox or however you got it inside.”
I snickered at the thought of feeding a snake through a letterbox, but said, “I don’t need him to choose my outfits, Alex.”
“To be fair to my asshole of a brother, the dress is,” he paused and held his first finger and thumb together in a circle and pursed his lips, nodding in approval. “You are going to look hot as fuck, Stevie baby, so much so, Mr. Weston won’t be able to keep his hands off you.”
I let out a humourless laugh. There might be a greater chance of me not being able to keep my hands off him rather than the other way around. I hadn’t stopped thinking about his strong arms or his perfect lips all evening. Or how I wanted to feel those strong arms lift me and hold me up as he sunk deep inside.
Fuck, I really needed to get laid.
Alex’s phone chimed in his pants pocket. He wriggled around, trying to get it out, and smiled at whoever was the sender. He pushed my legs off of him and jumped up from his seat.
“Where you off to?” I asked, feeling the chill now that Alex had moved.
“Gotta hot date.” He winked, grabbing his empty beer bottle and vape and making a beeline to the patio doors. “See you in the morning.”