HIM
The wine bottle clinked onto the glass as Sage poured her third drink. Gritting my teeth, I kept my thoughts to myself. It wasn’t my place to tell her what to do. If she wanted to drink herself into a fog before Alex came home, it was her decision. I still didn’t fucking like it.
The weeks had been creeping by, and I’d kept my distance. Physically, at least. If Alex wasn’t home, we were always together. Talking. Playing cards. Binging random shows. Working out. She’d been keeping up with everything she learned when she went to that gym. Now that the weather was getting nice, we spent time outside. For the first time in my life, I let my guard down, and I let her see parts of myself I didn’t show to anyone else. About most things. I didn’t talk about the group. Or Geo.
Because even if it seemed like everything was going peacefully, it was only a curtain blocking out real life. And it wouldn’t last forever.
That’s why I’d made sure to keep my hands off her. She had enough going on in her life; she didn’t need me to fuck it up even more. I couldn’t give her what she wanted. I could protect her in the small ways I had been, and that was it. The only way she was going to survive this was by staying with Alex. I couldn’t turn my back on the group or my family, no matter how much this one girl was slowly consuming my every waking thought.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” she asked, sitting on the couch next to me. Inches from me. She’d been pushing me, seeing what I’d do. The wine gave her extra courage. The scent of her lilac lotion drifted over, and like it had been each day, my self-control took another dip.
I was trying to not be an asshole. She was making it hard. She was already stuck with me. I didn’t need to make it any more difficult by adding sex to the equation. I turned to look out the window as tires crunched over the gravel in the driveway.
“He’s home early,” I muttered, glancing at her. “Better put that away before he sees. Unless you want to explain why you’re drinking at three in the afternoon.”
“You turn back into an ass when he’s home,” she murmured before downing the rest of the wine.
“No. I’m acting how I always have around him.”
“Yeah, like an asshole.” She jumped back up and strode to the kitchen. The faucet turned on, and even though I couldn’t see her, it was easy to picture it. She did it every day. Rinsed the cup, gave it a quick pat dry, and then stashed it back in the cabinet in the same place it always was.
“I’m taking a shower,” she announced, not even looking at me as she went into the hallway.
I sighed. “He’s going to catch on. You do anything to prolong seeing him.”
“Of course I don’t. I love him.”
She slammed the bathroom door closed, and I rubbed my temples. She didn’t. Not that she’d ever admit it to me. That part of life was behind the curtain that we didn’t talk about. The trust wasn’t there. And it never would be. She wanted to survive. I was Alex’s family. She might tolerate me better than anyone else here, but I was still the enemy.
The screen door creaked when Alex walked in, and I glanced over at him. He tossed his keys on the table before striding across the room and falling onto the opposite end of the couch. Frowning, he scanned the room.
“Where is she?” he asked with a bit of annoyance.
“In the shower.”
He shook his head. “How is she?”
My pulse sped up as I faced him. “What do you mean?”
“You see her more than me. I don’t know, Niko.” He let out a short groan. “What if she never warms back up to me?”
Guilt wormed its way through me as I bit my tongue. This was another reason why I hadn’t touched her. She might not love him anymore, but Alex still wanted her. And he was my baby brother. What kind of brother was I to go behind his back?
“She’s adjusting,” I finally answered. “It’s a lot for her. She didn’t grow up in it. She saw her sister get killed. By our brother.”
“It’s been more than two months since she’s been here.”
He’d die of old age before she adjusted to this life, but I wasn’t telling him that.
“Has she tried anything?” he asked in a low voice, even though the shower was still on.
“No.” Besides stealing a car key, talking to some woman in Chicago, and hiding the paper. “She visits her dad. We go to the store. She wants to go back to school and finish her degree.”
“The group still doesn’t trust her,” he muttered. “They want her watched longer.”
“I already told you, I’d help as long as it’s needed.” I couldn’t deny that I was happy I’d be spending more time with her.
“I feel bad.” He shook his head. “You don’t have your own life anymore. You’re stuck here.”