“Such a clever boy.” She reached out her hand and stroked his head, his soft strands caressing her palm.
Richard continued to stare at her, and she could feel a blush creeping across her face. Like a magnet, she was drawn in, her own eyes stuck on his. Emotion bubbled within her like a just-opened bottle of champagne. He hadn’t forgiven her—she knew that much, and what was worse she could understand it—but she couldn’t quash the hope one day he might.
“I need to finish my conference.” Richard’s voice was thick with emotion. There was a tick in his jaw, and she wanted to cup her hand around his chiseled features and smooth out the tensio
n.
“I’ll take him,” she offered, reaching out her arms. Matty struggled and held tightly onto Richard. It made them both smile.
“He can come in with me, if that’s okay. It should only be a few minutes.” They were back to being polite.
Baby steps, she reminded herself.
“That’s fine. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.” Ask me to join you. Please invite me in.
“We’ll be fine.” He turned around and walked back to the orangery, pulling the door open so he and Matty could walk inside. Hanna rolled her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched Richard’s retreating back, recalling the text message she’d received from Ruby that morning.
Give him time. He’s worth it.
WHEN EVENING CAME, Hanna’s body ached from polite smiles and walking on tiptoes. Over the past few days, they had fallen into a routine of eating dinner with Matty, followed by his bath and bedtime. Richard participated eagerly, his face glowing as he played with his son, running around the house and avoiding the elephant they both knew was there in the room.
“He’s asleep,” Richard whispered as he walked out of the nursery.
Hanna smiled and walked past him, knowing he would be heading right for his bedroom. She stopped at Matty’s cot, leaning over to stroke his peaceful face, her fingers lingering on the plump skin of his cheeks.
“Goodnight, sweet prince.” She kissed her middle and index finger before pressing them to his forehead. Bedtimes were always bittersweet; part of her was relieved, knowing at the end of a long day of running after him, she would have an evening of rest. The other half missed his smiles and giggles, and the sensation of his warm arms curling around her in love.
She walked quietly out of the room, pulling the door closed behind her. She was so caught up in her thoughts it took her a moment to realize Richard was still standing there, leaning against the wall. His hands were shoved in his pockets, the tendons of his arms tense and defined.
“Do you want to talk?”
Her stomach lurched. It was the moment she’d been waiting for all week, but now it was here she was trembling with fear.
She nodded, unable to speak for a moment. Richard pushed himself off the wall and headed for the living room. She trailed in his wake, her mind a myriad of thoughts and worries.
There was an open bottle of red wine on the coffee table next to two half-filled glasses. Hanna wondered if it was a good idea to drink alcohol with Richard near. He already filled her senses until she thought she would burst. How much worse would it be to face him with the false bravado that wine would give her?
“I thought this might help.” He lifted a glass and offered it to her. Hanna grasped the stem, feeling the fragility of the crystal. She wondered if it would snap if she got any tenser.
“Thank you,” she murmured, sitting opposite him. The coffee table was between them, a welcome barrier. Lifting the glass to her lips, she took a sip, letting the warm, ambient fluid dance around her taste buds before swallowing.
Richard cleared his throat. “Our son is beautiful.”
She nodded again, the lump in her throat growing. “He is.”
“I’m still so fucked up over everything that’s happened, but we need to concentrate on Matty.” He was running his finger around the rim of his glass. “His happiness is the most important thing.”
“It’s all I care about,” she agreed with a small voice.
“You’re a wonderful mother, Hanna. I don’t want to take him away from you.”
She felt like she could breathe for the first time in forever.
“But I need to be with him, too,” he added, before whispering. “Now I’ve gotten to know him, I don’t want to let him go.”
“I know.” Her heart filled with love. “I want you to be with him. You’re his father, and he loves you.” It was clear to her, from the way Matty stared up at Richard adoringly. “I’ve never seen him accept anybody so fast.”
Richard drained his glass, before setting it down on the table. “But the fact remains, we live in different countries. Hell, we’re on different continents for Christ’s sake.”