Whatever she did, it was going to hurt.
Getting to the front of the line, Hanna climbed into the yellow taxi, pulling her bag in behind her. The black vinyl seat was cold against her skin, and her eyes automatically met the driver’s in his rear-view mirror.
“Where to?”
“Financial district. Corner of Pine and Nassau.”
“Maxwell Enterprises?” the driver clarified.
“Yes, that’s correct.” Hanna prayed that Ruby had managed to sort out her security pass as promised. If she had to call up to Lisa to get it sorted out, Hanna had the feeling she might bolt.
The journey was mercifully long. The streets were a tangle of cars and trucks, fumes angrily pumping out as vehicles remained stationary. Hanna sat back and listened to the music coming out of the cab’s stereo system, allowing the regular rhythm to calm her heart. In the years since she’d been here last, it looked like the taxis had been upgraded. There was a screen showing their exact location, occasionally interrupted by advertisements for local companies. Their slow progress was clear to see as she followed the flashing red dot along the streets.
It was 3:00 p.m. local time when the cab pulled up on Pine. Hanna handed the driver sixty dollars, telling him to keep the change, and then opened the door, stepping out onto the street. The sounds didn’t seem as jarring as they used to—perhaps her year of living here had inured her to the cacophony. The familiar smell of exhaust fumes and food carts assaulted her nose in a delicious way.
Her confidence seemed to have returned. In her skinny jeans and black t-shirt she was out of place amongst the grey suits, but rather than feeling inferior, she smiled a little, remembering that her own work seemed so much more fulfilling, and allowed her to stay at home with her son. In comparison the workers seemed like prisoners; their uniforms may have been classier and made-to-measure, but they were just as caged as a murderer in San Quentin.
Security was surprisingly easy. Her name was on the list, and a pass had already been printed for her. She clipped it to the waistband of her jeans and headed for the bathroom, needing to give herself one final glance-over before she went up to his office.
When she emerged—make-up touched up and hair calmed—Hanna made her way toward the bank of elevators at the corner of the lobby. She’d been here a few times before; when she was dating Richard before her mum died, and then later, when she was living in Manhattan. This time felt different. The walls seemed closer together, the elevator more ominous. Maybe it was she who had changed, rather than the building.
Pausing outside the door to the outer office, she took a deep breath to bolster her resolve. Squaring her shoulders, she reached her hand out to push the handle down, rearranging her features into a neutral, unreadable expression.
Then she walked in.
“Hanna?” Lisa’s face indicated her confusion. The other two administrators in the room glanced up, their keyboard-tapping momentarily paused as their faces betrayed their interest. They must have been new; Hanna didn’t recognize them.
“Hello, Lisa. How are you?” She’d always liked Richard’s assistant.
“I’m good, thank you. And you?”
Hanna tried to smile. “Fine. Is Richard available?”
“He’s in meetings all afternoon. I don’t think he was expecting you.” Lisa’s response was polite as always. Her expression indicated her regret.
“I’m his three-thirty. Ruby booked the appointment for me.”
“Oh, that will explain it. I’ll let him know you’re here.”
Hanna wanted to back right out of the room and hotfoot it back to JFK. Was she ready for this? She hadn’t seen him for so long. Everything about the situation made her nerves tingle. The light feeling of nausea that swirled around her stomach intensified. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to be sick.
You are in control, she reminded herself. Tell him the news, give him a chance to digest it, and get out.
She wasn’t going to panic; she wasn’t going to lose control. Hanna kept her breathing steady, even as her heart began to race. The last thing she needed was to collapse in his outer office.
“You can go in.” Lisa’s voice brought her back to the present.
“Can I leave my bag here?” Hanna indicated her small carry-on bag. Lisa took it with a smile, and gestured toward Richard’s door.
This was it.
Was she ready? Would she ever be? The only thing she knew for sure was that she owed it to Richard, and to Matty, to tell him the truth. She’d just have to deal with the fallout. One foot in front of the other, she crossed the room until she reached his door, her eyes caressing the familiar dark oak, fingers reaching out to let herself in.
Hanna pushed the door open, the hinges creaking lightly under the pressure. The room had been redecorated at some point in the past year or two, the cream walls repainted a paler white, the furniture replaced with sleeker, modern lines. It made her sad to realize that life had gone on without her. How would Richard react when he discovered just how life had continued without him?
“What are you doing here?”
Richard was leaning on his desk, ankles crossed, his arms folded firmly in front of his chest. His suit jacket hung on a stand behind him. Though she tried not to look, she couldn’t help but follow the lines of his clothes all the way down his body.