As soon as he walked into the elevator, she turned and made her way back to her office. She grabbed her coat, shrugging it on, excited that she only had half an hour before she would see Richard again.
How had she stood being apart from him for all this time? Like a sculptor, he had taken the dull-grey clay of her life and made it into something beautiful. She felt so alive.
It was five past six when her cell rang, and she tried not to smile when she heard the jarring chords of Last Night by the Strokes blaring out of her purse. Richard had been busy reprogramming her cell while she was asleep. She liked these flashes of humor, amongst the seriousness of their situation.
“Hello?”
“Hanna?” He sounded breathless. Beneath the timbre of his voice she could hear the familiar sounds of the city; humming motors, beeping horns and the perpetual drone of police sirens.
“Are you outside?” She didn’t bother to disguise her enthusiasm. She was just so damned happy.
“Sweetheart, there’s been a change of plan.”
“Oh?” The excitement poured out of her like sand spilling from a broken timer. “Are you still coming to pick me up?”
“Meredith’s been in an accident.” His voice was monotone. Hanna frowned for a moment, trying to think of something to say; a reassuring word, a peaceful sentence. But the only thing in her mind was pure, blind panic.
“I’m on my way upstate now. It sounds bad.” His voice cracked and she ached to touch him. Her hands curled around the thin air of her disappointment, a poor substitute for his body.
“I don’t know what to say, I’m so sorry.”
“I’ll call you when I know more. Give me some time, okay?”
She took a deep breath, letting the oxygen fill her lungs, holding it inside until the burning need to exhale took over her mind. Letting it out with a whoosh, she eventually calmed herself enough to reply.
“Concentrate on Meredith. Let me know how she is.”
“I love you.” His words were desperate. Hanna tried to hold on to them, like a child catching a bubble as it danced through the air. When she opened her hands she feared it would be gone.
“I love you, too.” There was nothing else to say. Her mind was bursting with the things she wanted to tell him, but they would have to wait. Now, she had to let him go. He still belonged to Meredith. Until he severed the tie, Hanna was the one on the outside looking in.
The guilt that she’d suppressed all day was growing like topsy in her mind, and she wondered if it was a judgment from above or just plain bad luck.
She began to suspect it was a little of both.
THE FOLLOWING WEEK, Hanna was leaving the office, pulling her coat tight to block out the wind. It was already getting dark; the evening sky was a cloudy grey, and though the weather was dry the air tasted of snow. She was going to miss the extreme highs and lows of living here—the stifling heat of summer, the bright oranges of the fall. London was a beautiful city—and the one closest to her heart—but Manhattan had been such a wicked love affair.
The wind was whipping up Second Avenue, and she turned up the collar of her coat, regretful she’d left her scarf in the office. A black sedan idled at the curb, grey vapor clouding from the exhaust, and she watched with interest as the back door opened.
“Hanna.”
Richard climbed out of the car, putting his feet on the sidewalk, and she found herself moving toward him. He looked so drawn; his skin was pale, his hair messed, and she wanted to throw her arms around him and pull him tightly to her.
“I thought you’d still be with Meredith.”
In the week since Hanna had last seen him, they’d only managed to speak on the phone a handful of times. Most of Richard’s day had been made up of sitting with his fiancée, sorting out her insurance, and arranging her transfer to New York. Perhaps that was why he was here.
“I’ve been interviewing nurses.” His voice was the same monotone she’d been hearing all week. It was like he was trying not to feel anything. “Meredith’s being helicoptered back tomorrow.”
“How is she?” It was a stupid question. They were both standing here, restraining themselves from touching each other. The only thing stopping them was Meredith’s health.
“Still not able to move very well, the doctors say we have to give it some time. They say with intense therapy there’s hope she’ll be on her feet soon.”
“That’s good news.” The wind lashed against her cheek, making her pink up. A solitary flake of snow fell in front of her eyes. Th
e thick clump danced in the air, in no hurry to reach the ground.
“I hope so.” He looked as awkward as she felt. Snow began to fall heavily. He cleared his throat, glancing up at the roof of her building, and she remembered he owned it. It was so strange, the way everything in her life led back to him.