“I’m so sorry, Claire.” Hanna swallowed hard in an attempt to prevent herself from breaking down. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Or maybe I wasn’t thinking.”
“You were in mourning for your mother, it wasn’t your fault. I know you needed space, but I prayed every day you’d come home to us.”
“Like a prodigal daughter?” Hanna tried to joke, though the sobs were a giveaway.
“Like a much loved family member, Hanna, and you are loved so very much. I hope you know that.”
“I was so frightened you’d hate me for running away.”
“I could never hate you.” Claire was crying now, too. Inky, grey tears streaked her cheeks, winding down her face. They were both going to need a touch-up before they could be seen in public again. “I couldn’t blame you anyway, you were so sad and depressed, and reaching out for something you couldn’t find. I hoped you’d manage to discover a level of peace in Australia.”
Hanna closed her eyes and thought of her time in Sydney. At first she had been lost; realizing the misery she was running away from had followed her across the world. It had been a stark wake-up call, and one
which hit her hard. But, bit by bit, she managed to climb her way out of the pit of despair. It hadn’t been easy or quick, and she had fallen more times than she cared to remember, but eventually she made it out into the bright light of day.
“I’m working on the finding peace part,” she admitted wryly, “although it’s easier said than done.”
“Why don’t you tell me about this new job you’ve got? Ruby says it’s something to do with blogging, whatever a blog is?”
For the first time a genuine grin crossed Hanna’s face, lighting up her eyes as she began to speak. “An old colleague has set up a website for music reviews, although she wants to expand it to include other stuff, too. I’m the music editor, which is fantastic, and although, at the moment it’s just me, I’m recruiting some freelancers to help out.”
Claire stood watching her, a smile pulling up at the corner of her lips. “You look so animated when you talk about work, it’s beautiful to see.”
“It was the only thing keeping me sane,” Hanna admitted. “When everything else was going to hell, it was something I could rely on.”
“You could have relied on us, too.” Claire’s voice was low. “I want you to remember that, if you ever feel so low again.”
The nerves returned as Hanna realized just how much her rejection must have hurt. If Claire was feeling this bad, then what the hell had she done to Richard?
“I will.” Her legs were shaking, and she leaned on the kitchen counter to stop herself from falling. “Thank you for being so kind—”
She was interrupted by the sudden opening of the door and the swell of music it created. They both turned their heads to see Steven standing there, dressed in a pair of grey trousers and a blue sweater, his blond hair falling over his forehead.
“There you are. I think Ruby is ready for us to join them in the den.” Steven smiled at Claire before realizing there was someone else there. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interru—”
He stopped talking the moment his eyes fell on Hanna. His mouth dropped open.
“Oh, Steven, Hanna came to the party, just like she promised Ruby she would.”
Hanna looked at Steven and saw a man torn by his emotions. It was like part of him wanted to celebrate her return, and the other part was angry she left in the first place. She wasn’t sure which side would win.
“Hello, Steven.”
“Hanna.” His response was terse.
From the corner of her eye, she could see Claire gesturing at him, although she couldn’t make out what she was trying to signal. Steven raised his eyebrows and gave a slight nod. “How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks.” She sounded so stilted and false, no wonder he was staring at her.
“You had us all worried for a while, especially Richard.”
“Steven!” Claire’s voice was a warning.
“It’s okay, Claire, I know he’s right. How is Richard doing?”
Steven walked forward and stopped in front of Hanna, his height making her feel dwarfed in comparison. He reminded her so much of Richard, from the way he stood, to the way he talked, and it both hurt and comforted her.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Hanna. He took it very hard.” His words were controlled, like he was acting as a check on himself. “For a while he was as depressed as you were, but he’s doing much better now. He seems to have moved on with his life, and accepted you’re not coming back.”