“I’m leaving now.” She started to back away from him, waving briefly, her eyes never straying from his.
“Without a goodbye kiss?”
“What the hell do you think we’ve been doing for the last half hour?” Her eyebrows knitted together in a mock-frown, as she moved a couple steps farther back.
“That was just a warm up. Now I want the final goodbye kiss.”
THE FOLLOWING EVENING, Hanna rushed out of the Music Train offices on Wardour Street and into the humid Soho air. Being so close to the West End of London, the road was always thronging with people, and she followed them up toward Oxford Street, diving into the tube station along with the rest of the weekday commuters. As she stepped onto the stairwell, she felt her phone vibrate, and pulled it out of the pocket of her jeans to read the text.
Have I told you I miss you today?
She hurriedly tapped out a reply.
I’ve got five hours on you Larsen! I win in the missing stakes.
Taking the tube, she emerged from the station at Putney Bridge and into the cold night air. Her breath caused vapor clouds to appear in front of her as she hurried along the streets to her mum’s apartment. It felt like they hadn’t seen each other for a lifetime; either Hanna was away at a concert, or Diana was busy organizing an event. They’d agreed to meet that evening to catch up.
Her mother was waiting at the door when she walked up to the apartment, a big grin covering her face. She pulled Hanna to her in a huge embrace.
“Oh sweetie, it’s so good to see you.”
“You too, I can’t believe how long it’s been. We live in the same city, for God’s sake.”
“You’ve been busy, with work and Richard.” Diana winked, pulling her inside by the hand and closing the door behind them. As soon as Hanna stepped into the flat, she felt a calm, familiar feeling sweep over her. Everything about this place made her feel at home.
“I ordered beef in black bean sauce for you,” Diana called out as she walked into the small kitchen. “Do you want any prawn toasts?”
“Is the Pope a Catholic?” Hanna shouted back, standing up and following her mum so that she could offer to help. Diana glared at her, moving her hands in a shooing motion until Hanna got the hint, and walked back to the living room.
“How has work been?” Diana asked, her voice echoing slightly against the tiled floor of the kitchen.
“Great, I spent the day in the studio with a band recording their second album. They’ve gone all concept and spent most of the day playing me each track in order so I can understand their narrative.”
“I don’t think I understood a word of that.” Diana’s face was a mask of confusion.
“They’re trying to tell a story with each song. They rap about this guy losing a thousand pounds, and everything that happens, and then, in the final song, he finds it down the back of his TV.”
“Sounds riveting. When do I get to hear it?”
Hanna laughed out loud. Diana was a classicist, if by classics you meant Abba, Elton John, and Cliff Richard.
“It’s out in April. I’ll buy you a copy.”
“I can’t wait,” Diana said dryly, carrying two lap trays into the room, handing one to Hanna along with some chopsticks.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Hanna stared pointedly at Diana’s plate. Only a small helping of rice and an even smaller spoonful of chicken had been placed on the white china. Glancing up at her mum, Hanna saw her hollowed cheeks. “Bloody hell, Mum, how much weight have you lost?”
She couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed it as soon as she’d walked in through the door, but Diana had always looked the same to her—petite, perfectly proportioned, though maybe slightly heavier on the hips than on the chest. Whenever Hanna thought of her, she usually pictured her mother as being around 35 years old, still wearing the fashions of the mid-nineties, her unlined face smiling in delight at Hanna’s latest escapades.
Looking at her now, she could see that her face was lined, the skin drawn back across the bones. The shadows under her eyes were darker and more pronounced than usual.
Diana looked down at her plate, drawing her bottom lip in between her teeth in a move that seemed familiar. Hanna watched as a single tear dropped out of Diana’s left eye, falling onto the plate, bouncing slightly as it met the china surface.
“Mum, what’s wrong? You’re really worrying me now.” Hanna put her plate down on the side table and moved over, doing the same for Diana’s lap tray. Kneeling on the floor next to her mum’s legs, she took both of Diana’s hands in her own, squeezing them as she urged her mum to look at her.
“I’ve been at the hospital today. I don’t want you to panic, and I know it’s going to come as a shock, but I’ve found a lump in my breast, and they’ve taken it for a biopsy.”
The ground shot out from under Hanna’s feet, leaving her reeling and dizzy, her head trying and failing to make sense of the words. She shook it, the side-to-side movement not helping her sudden feeling of nausea.