“A cat?” She doesn’t give up.
“Maybe a rabbit or a guinea pig,” I concede. “Something low maintenance.”
“A hamster!” Her eyes light up. “Rebecca Grant has one of those and it’s so cute. It does keep her up all night, though.”
I smile and offer her a bottle of water. We’ll work it out. Maybe take a trip to Pets at Home to see what the different animals are like. One step at a time, I remind myself. A year ago I was in a childless marriage. Now I’m a mum to a nine-year-old girl. I’m not perfect, but I’m trying my best. We both are.
“Can Rebecca come over to play after school next week?”
“Sure, I’ll give her mum a call.” I mentally flip through my calendar, another thing I’ve learned to do since fostering Allegra. We have to plan out our schedules with military precision. Between dance clubs and play dates, plus school, college and work we live a pretty busy life. I’m about to ask her what day she wants to do it on when my phone rings.
“It’s Lara,” I say, glancing at the screen. As I answer, Allegra runs off to collect more shells for her pile at home. She knows Lara and I talk for ages on the phone. Now that we’re both mums—of sorts—it’s nice to have that support network there.
“Hey,” I say into the phone. “Is Max asleep?”
“I just put him down. I figure we have half an hour before he starts to squawk.” Lara sounds exhausted, just like any parent of a three-month-old baby. “How’re things in sunny Brighton?”
“Not sunny.” I look up. “The sky’s full of grey clouds.”
“It’s lovely here. The sun’s out, the sky’s blue and everybody’s in bikinis. You should definitely move back to London.”
I laugh at her blatant lie. Every time we talk she tries to persuade me. Whether it’s the free museums, great restaurants or beautiful weather, she uses any excuse to encourage us to move back. There’s a part of me that misses the hustle of the city, the excitement that seems laced in the air. But this move has been the best thing for Allegra. Better schools, open spaces and still only a short train journey from the big city.
“Or you could move down here,” I counter.
She laughs. “Imagine Alex’s face, he’d throw a fit.”
“How is Alex?” I haven’t seen him since he came to visit for the day with Lara and Max a couple of months ago. I bite down a smile as I remember him telling me that their sofa was big enough for me and Allegra. If we ever wanted to move back with them.
“Busy. There are a few managers sniffing around the band. He seems to think he’s Mick bloody Jagger.” I don’t like the way her voice trembles. I get the impression there’s more to it, but I’m not sure what to do. Maybe a trip to London is in order.
“He’s always been a show-off.”
“You’re not wrong there.” Her laugh is short, then she changes the subject. “Have you heard from Niall?”
“Pretty much every day.” He’s been in the US for the last three months, putting on an exhibition. It isn’t only his constant texts and messages that make me smile—although they do—but the fact he sends Allegra postcards every few days. Blank ones that he draws zany pictures on. She’s pinned them all up on her wall as a shrine to Niall Joseph, making me smile every time I walk into her room. “He’s coming home next Thursday.”
There’s no need to tell her I can’t wait. We’ve been taking things slowly, Niall and me. He still has his flat in London, but has been spending weekends with us in Brighton, getting to know Allegra. It may not have been the ideal way to start a relationship, but we’ve muddled through as best we can.
And when I watch him painting with her, seeing his kind patience as he talks softly and makes her giggle, I can’t help but fall in love with him all over again.
“Has there been any news on the adoption?”
“The wheels are slowly turning.” I’m momentarily distracted as I watch Allegra run too close to the sea. She screams and runs away again, the bottom of her jeans stained dark blue by the water. She waves at me and I wave back, my grin matching hers. “Rafiya says a few more months and we’ll be there. I can’t wait.” I want that piece of paper, the one that says Allegra’s mine. Until then I’ll still be a little edgy.
“That’s great. We’ll have to start planning that party. Any excuse for a knees-up.” I can hear the smile in her voice. “What are you guys doing this weekend?”
“We’re off to Essex tomorrow to visit my parents for lunch.” Another side effect of my fostering Allegra; a rapprochement of sorts with my mum and dad. They’ve fallen in love with her, seized the opportunity to be grandparents as if it’s their only chance. “We’re at the beach now. Allegra’s chasing the waves.”
“That sounds perfect.”
“I forgot to tell you, I saw Simon last week. He drove down to Brighton for the day.” I smile when I remember his visit. We had a few last things to hash out, but decided to take the paperwork to the beach. He drank tea from a thermos flask and we ate sandwiches wrapped in foil. He looked a bit out of place but I think he enjoyed it.
“Really? How is he?” Though Lara was never that close to Simon, she knows he’s always been kind to me.
“He seems pretty good. He’s bought a weekend place in Scotland, some kind of hunting lodge or something. Oh, and he’s got a girlfriend.” Saying the word makes me smile. Simon seems a little too staid to have a girlfriend, but that’s what he called her. Apparently she runs the estate agency that managed his purchase, which
explains why he’s visiting Scotland nearly every weekend. He seems happy, content, and there’s a light in his eyes I haven’t seen for a while. That fact alone makes me like this new development very much.