She turned around. Ryan was standing on the porch behind her. He was wearing a thick blue sweater and jeans, his hair neat, his face freshly shaven. But it was his eyes that made her heart swell. Those deep blues, staring straight back at her, telling her everything she wanted to know.
‘I thought you were in New York,’ she said quietly. Her fingers tightened around the handle. There was no way she was going to drop the teapot, even if her whole body was shaking at his sudden arrival.
‘I decided not to go.’ He was still staring at her, his gaze soft as wool. She was staring back, too. Had it only been a few days since she last saw him? It felt so much longer. There was a hunger for him, rumbling deep inside her. Like a distant train that was speeding straight for the station. It made her blood run hot.
‘Why not?’ Her feet were glued to the floor. She didn’t dare reduce the space between them, not when he was looking at her like that.
In the end it didn’t matter, because he took a step towards her instead. Reaching out, he brushed a stray lock of red hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. ‘I was sitting at the airport bar,’ he told her, ‘surrounded by people travelling to one place or another. And I realised that I could be going anywhere in the world and it still wouldn’t be enough. Not without you.’
‘You can’t say things like that.’ Her voice was hoarse.
‘Why not?’ He dragged his fingers down her cheek, leaving a trail of fire and ice on her skin. ‘Why can’t I?’
‘Because … ’ She was lost for words. He brushed his thumb against her mouth, sending a shiver down her spine. ‘Ryan, I … ’
He was beautiful. She stared at him, trying to take in every aspect of his face. His stare was heavy and deep. It drew her in without asking her permission. She could feel her whole body start to tremble at his touch.
‘I’ve been to some amazing places,’ he continued, sliding his hand to the back of her neck. ‘I’ve seen so many beautiful things. But nothing compares to the way you look when you stare up at me like that.’ He pressed his hand to the skin on the back of her neck, pulling her closer to him. She stepped forward without hesitation.
They were only inches away now. Close enough for her to breathe him in. She closed her eyes for a moment, feeling his warmth, his strength as their torsos brushed against each other. It was impossible not to be overwhelmed by him.
They were more than the sum of their parts. So much more.
‘You left me,’ she whispered. ‘You walked away when things got tough.’
She opened her eyes to see him staring down at her, his gaze filled with an intensity that made her heart leap. ‘I did, and I hate myself for it. Those were old behaviours, London. Old, ingrained reflex responses to feeling rejected. But I can promise you this, if you ever agree to take me back in your life, I won’t be walking away again.’
Tentatively, she reached up to brush her fingers along his jawline. The heat behind his eyes deepened.
‘But I didn’t reject you,’ she said. ‘I asked to see you, remember?’
‘By that point my mind was made up,’ he admitted. ‘I’d called you as soon as I got out of the police cell. All night I’d sat in there, staring at the bare brick walls, and you were the only thing on my mind. Then when I found out you were with Thomas, I lost it.’
She could feel the muscles beneath his jaw tighten. ‘I was with him because I wanted to persuade him to drop the charges. I didn’t trust him not to do something stupid, and I thought if I kept an eye on him I could stop him. Honestly, Ryan, the last thing I ever want to do is get back with Thomas.’
He breathed out a warm mouthful of air. It breezed against her fingers. ‘I know you wouldn’t. I think I even knew then. But it was like I was a kid again. Being rejected by my mom … ’ His voice broke. He looked down, shaking his head. ‘I’ll tell you about it sometime.’
She knew better than to push. He’d already opened up more than she’d ever expected. Vulnerability was written on his face, making him look young, almost frightened.
‘So about those flowers,’ she said, trying to change the subject. ‘They were beautiful. Thank you.’
A half-smile formed on his lips. ‘I was afraid you’d think it was lame. Sending flowers to a florist.’
‘I love flowers, that’s why I do what I do. And nobody ever thinks to send them to me.’
‘I’ll send them to you every day of your life if that’s what it takes for you to realise.’
‘To realise what?’
‘That you’re worth it. That you’re worth everything. More than the shit you’ve been dealing with for years. You’re a prize, London, and I’m going to fight with everything I’ve got until I win you.’
Oh God, this man. This man. He knew how to seduce her with a few words and a look. Her body tingled at his proximity. ‘What if you’ve already won me?’ she whispered.
‘Then I’ll fight to keep you. I know this isn’t a one-time deal. I’ll do whatever it takes every morning to let you know how lucky I am to have you in my life.’
She blinked back the tears. ‘That sounds like a pretty good way to wake up every day.’
He lowered his head until his lips were a breath away from hers. ‘I can think of other good ways to wake you up, too.’