‘I guess you will.’
‘Lo … Juliet?’
She swallowed though her mouth was dry as dust. ‘Yes?’
‘It’s for the best, right?’ Was he really asking her that? ‘It’s not as if we were serious or anything. And you’ve got so much to deal with, the last thing you need is me hanging around. You were there when I needed you, and I hope I was there for you too. We’re still friends, aren’t we?’
A sheen of saltwater was forming behind her eyelids. She blinked to let the tears escape. Then she closed her eyes again, feeling the hot drops running down her cheeks, until they fell from her chin.
Still friends? She didn’t even know what that meant any more. Didn’t know if it was possible to hurt like this over a friendship.
Glancing across the kitchen, she caught sight of herself in the glass door of the microwave. She was hunched over, one hand grasping the phone to her ear, the other splayed on the countertop, her arm tense as it held her body up. In the shimmer of her vision she looked like a broken woman.
And she hated it.
‘No, I don’t think we can be friends,’ she told him, trying to hide the pain in her voice. The need to run and bury her head somewhere warm and dark was almost overwhelming. ‘Goodbye, Ryan.’
‘Wait. London, I … ’
But she couldn’t wait. Not if it meant letting this pressure in her chest increase until it felt as though she was going to explode. Instead she ended the call, throwing her cell phone onto the counter top before she ran to the bathroom, where she locked the door and fell to the tiled floor, the tears flowing down her cheeks as though they were never going to stop.
*
Ryan threw his phone on the mattress and hit the cotton bed-cover with his still-bruised fist. A dull pain shot up his arm, but he ignored it, frowning as he stared at the open suitcase on his bed. It was half-filled with lightweight clothes, ready for his flight tomorrow.
‘Ry, what time do we pick Charlie up from school?’ Sheridan popped her head around the doorway to his bedroom. Her hair was pulled back, revealing her tan, youthful skin. Since she arrived that morning, she’d been sleeping in the spare room, and she was still wearing a pair of drawstring pants and a waffle-knit white sweater. If you were looking closely enough you could see the merest hint of a swell across the normal flatness of her belly. Three months pregnant, or so she’d told Ryan. The father – Carl – was a member of the band she’d been working with. The two of them were planning to find a place to rent near Ryan and Charlie, just as soon as his tour finished. She didn’t want Charlie to feel pushed out by the new baby, she loved him way too much for that.
She was so excited about bringing her family together, and all the while Ryan was falling apart.
‘Three,’ he told her, not looking up from his suitcase. ‘I’m going to take him to the ice cream parlour, and then explain I’m going away for a few days. I don’t want to overwhelm him all at once.’ He sighed. ‘Maybe I should just take him with me. He won’t miss much school.’
When he looked up, she was looking at him, a sympathetic expression on her face. ‘You said yourself it’s only for a few days. And you know he won’t want to miss school. They’ve just started practising for their Christmas show, he was so excited about it when we talked on the phone.’
Ryan nodded. ‘You’re right. I don’t want him to miss out on that.’
‘And from the look of you, it might do you good to be alone for a few days. You’ve had a face like thunder ever since I arrived.’
Everything around him felt flat. Had done since he’d walked into the house after his mom had dropped him off. His whole life felt like a series of fraying strings. Nothing led anywhere, nothing knitted together. He was full of holes.
Finally he brought his gaze up to meet Sheridan’s. She was still looking concerned, her brow furrowed with lines. He felt grateful to her for flying in so fast, catching the next plane into Baltimore after his urgent request. So maybe she was planning on coming here anyway, what with her pregnancy and all, but it had worked out well for them both.
‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ she asked him, tipping her head to the side.
‘Do what?’
‘Leave so suddenly. How important is this contract glitch anyway?’
He shrugged. ‘It’s just something I need to smooth out. And I should probably do it now, I could be in jail by the time January gets here.’
Sheridan grinned. ‘I think we both know that’s not going to happen. Didn’t your lawyer say that at the very worst you’d get a fine? If they thought you were some kind of violent maniac, they wouldn’t let you leave the state.’
That was true. The first thing he’d done was check with his lawyer if he was okay to leave the state, even if he was on bail. According to Frank it was no problem, as long as he turned up for his court date.
If there was a court date.
He looked up. ‘I really appreciate you coming here at short notice, I know it wasn’t easy. I hope you didn’t get into too much trouble with the band.’
‘It helps that I’m sleeping with the lead singer,’ she said, rubbing her stomach. ‘And touring isn’t as much fun as it used to be. I don’t know if I’m getting old, but I started longing to come here to spend some time with Charlie. Would you believe I’m actually looking forward to being able to take him and pick him up from school?’