“Yeah, you were. But you were a hurt asshole. I should have told you before you found out from someone else.” She swallowed hard, trying to find the right words. “Can I tell you a little about my marriage? Maybe it’ll explain why I find this so difficult.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Yeah. I’d like to hear it.”
She tilted her head, looking up at him. “So, I told you before, Josh and I had a real estate business. A really successful one we’d built up from scratch. And I thought we were a team, each of us playing to our strengths, but it turned out Josh didn’t agree.”
Griff said nothing, his deep eyes steady as he looked at her.
“He’d have meetings and not tell me. Make deals without us talking them through. Ones I wouldn’t have risked, or where I didn’t trust the people involved.” She sighed. “And when I asked him to run things by me first, he’d just laugh. Told me that I brought the contacts and he brought the brains. I needed to let him do what he was best at without questioning him.”
“What an asshole.”
She nodded her agreement. “And then one of my friend’s husbands called me one afternoon and asked me to meet him in a coffee shop.” Her hand was still curled in Griff’s. “He works for the FBI. Wanted to give me a heads up that Josh was involved in something he shouldn’t be. And because the business was involved, that implicated me, too. They suspected he was helping people launder money by renting them office space, but they were still trying to prove it.”
Griff swallowed hard. “What did you do?”
“What any wife would. I asked him about it. And he told me I shouldn’t get involved.” She ran her tongue across her bottom lip. “That’s when I knew I needed to get out. I’d spent a lifetime doing what my dad told me to do. I thought my marriage would be different. But it wasn’t.”
There was a tic in Griff’s jaw, as though he was biting down too hard. “Was he investigated?”
“I’m pretty sure what I said spooked him.” Autumn shook her head. “But I can’t imagine he’ll walk the straight and narrow for too long. He’s an opportunist. In some ways that’s what I found interesting about him in the first place. He was different to me. Maybe too different.” She blinked, still gazing at the ocean. “The divorce took a long time to negotiate. The business was worth a lot of money. But I didn’t know how much of it was dirty. I guess I still don’t. So I asked him to buy me out.”
“Did he offer you a fair price?”
She chuckled. “It depends on what you mean by fair. I was willing to take below market to get out of it. I wanted my name off everything. But I had my dad in my ear, asking me why we couldn’t work it out. He likes Josh a lot. Said he reminded him of himself when he was younger.” She grimaced. “He even offered to buy Josh out so I could keep the company.”
“Did he know about the bad deals?”
“I didn’t tell him. And now I can’t because I signed an NDA.”
“A non-disclosure agreement?” He lifted an eyebrow. “Yet you’re breaking it to tell me.” His eyes were soft.
“That’s because I trust you.”
Her words lit a beacon of hope inside him. “Even after everything I’ve done?” he asked, tracing the lines on her palm with his finger.
“Yeah. You’re like a brick wall. Things go into you but nothing gets out. I’ve noticed how people confide in you. Ask for your help. And if we’re going to have a relationship, I don’t want there to be secrets between us. None at all.”
He cocked his head to the side. “You still want to have a relationship with me?” A half-smile played at his lips. The sun was reflecting in his warm eyes, but she still saw something there. Hope. Desire.
The same feelings that warmed her own skin.
“I’ve always wanted that,” she said softly. “Even when I pretended to myself that I didn’t and no strings attached seemed like a good idea.”
“I mess up. A lot.” His voice cracked. “That’s something you should know about me.”
“And when you mess up, you fix it. That’s something else I know.”
“I spent my life believing I wasn’t wanted,” Griff told her. “And I wasn’t. Not for the longest time. I was an inconvenience. Something that took my parents away from screaming at each other. A flesh and bone reminder that they had obligations other than to themselves.” He swallowed hard, looking down at her hand cradled in his. She reached out with her free hand to rake her fingers through his thick hair. He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.
“I hurt you because I was afraid of being hurt like that again, and that was wrong,” he told her, breathing out as she continued to massage his scalp. “I’m like a wounded animal. I strike first because I’m so damn scared I’m not wanted. And I’m so sorry I didn’t give you the space to talk when I should have.”
“You’re wanted,” Autumn whispered. “I want you very much.”
Something flashed behind his eyes. It made her legs shake as he stared at her, his lips parted, his jaw set. He leaned his head down until his brow was touching hers. “Not as much as I want you. Can you forgive me for what I said yesterday?”
“Yeah.” She breathed. “I already have.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. “Thank god.” Then his lips were on hers, their warmth sending pulses of electricity through her body. He reached around to cup the back of her neck, sliding his other hand to the small of her back so he could angle her just right. She looped her arms around his neck, kissing him until her toes were curling with delight.