“Yep. Had an ultrasound a few weeks ago and it’s all looking good.” James lifted his bottle to his lips.
“You told Sara’s folks about the baby yet?”
His hand froze. “No, not yet.” It was on his list of things to do, the same way it had been for weeks. But how the hell did you tell the parents of your dead wife you were having another baby? Even worse, how the hell could he explain what was happening between him and Harper?
On paper they knew he had his life in front of him, that his world wouldn’t stop forever. And yet a feeling of intense guilt washed over him any time he thought about calling them; the same feeling he got whenever he avoided their calls.
He wasn’t ready to face that yet. Not when he could be spending time with Harper, letting her light the darkness he’d been trapped in for so long.
“I’ll tell them soon,” he said as he put the beer on the tabletop.
“Hey, thanks for coming,” Lucas said, wandering over and giving James a hug. You remember these guys, right? Griff, Jackson and Breck were all at school with me. And you know Nate who runs the coffee shop on the beach, and Aiden who runs the Silver Sands Resort.”
James shook their hands. “This is Rich,” he said, introducing his friend. “He works in the ER.”
“Another doctor.” Lucas shook his hand. “I’ve probably seen you in there a few times.”
“Yeah, I know your face,” Rich said nodding. “Congratulations on the baby.”
“Thanks, man.”
“I hear you’re going to be a father, too,” Griff said, shaking James’s hand. “Congratulations.”
James felt the slightest twinge at the words. He was already a father. But tonight wasn’t the time to point that out.
“You’re a lucky guy to land Harper,” Jackson said, leaning on the counter. “She’s a good one.”
“They’re not a couple,” Lucas told him. “That’s right, isn’t it?”
“Well, yeah,” James said. Another twinge. There were way too many of them tonight.
“They aren’t?” Nate frowned, and his eyes met James’s. There was something in there he couldn’t quite work out.
“Well your loss is somebody else’s gain.” Griff shrugged. “I doubt she’ll be single for long.”
“That’ll be weird,” Jackson interjected. “Having another guy bringing up your baby.”
“It’s the modern world, man,” Griff told him. “We’re all adults here.”
It was? James frowned, not liking the sound of that one bit. The baby was his, not somebody else’s. And Harper? Well she belonged to nobody… but he wanted her all the same.
He took another mouthful of beer to wash away the bitter taste on his tongue. He liked her. A lot. Liked coming home to find her still there. Liked kissing the hell out of her when she least expected it. Liked the way she moaned softly when he was inside her, his hands cradling her like the precious cargo she was.
The thought of anybody else having that with her made him want to punch something.
“You okay?” Rich asked him. “Is it getting too much? I can drive you home.”
That made him feel worse. Rich thought he was having memories of Sara and Jacob, when the two of them had barely crossed his mind. Guilt immediately washed over him, mixing in with the jealousy that was already there.
The cocktail of emotions made him want to crawl into a corner and hide. This pregnancy – and this thing with Harper, whatever it was – was making him feel raw. For years he’d hidden from emotions, trying to avoid the pain they inevitably brought along for the ride.
And now? He wasn’t sure where he was or what he was doing. And that was as confusing as hell.
19
“What do you think?” Harper asked James as they walked around the empty apartment. The realtor was in the kitchen, subtly allowing them to explore the other rooms. “I could use that room as a nursery,” she said, pointing at the smallest room, next to the master. “And then this one would be mine. And I’m thinking the walk-in closet would make a good storage area for the business.”
“Where would you put your own clothes?”