“I like her. I mean I really like her.” It was only when he said it out loud that he realized how true that was. If he was being honest with himself, like didn’t seem a strong enough word – but anything else scared the hell out of him.
The hint of a smile pulled at Deenie’s lips. But she didn’t say anything, instead she left him space to go on. That was one of the things he loved about his mom – she knew when to talk and she knew when to listen.
She was great at them both.
“But somewhere along the way I’ve managed to make things really complicated. She doesn’t know how much I like her, and I’m scared that when I go back to White City and I’m all busy with work she’ll think I’m not interested and I’ll lose her.” His stomach tightened at the thought. “Or even worse, she’ll get sick of how busy I am and move on to a guy who’ll have the time for her.”
Deenie rested her chin on the palm of her hand, leaning on the counter as she listened to him talk, the smile still playing around her lips. “Is she your girlfriend?” she asked. “Or are you just dating?”
Lucas swallowed. “The latter, I guess.”
“And does she like you as much as you like her?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I think so, I hope so.”
Deenie nodded, taking it all in. “What did she say when you told her how you felt about her?”
“I haven’t told her.”
Her brows rose up. “Why not?”
He opened his mouth to answer, then shut it again. Why hadn’t he told Ember how he felt? Maybe because it had sneaked up on him so stealthily he hadn’t realized the strength of his feelings until now. Or perhaps it was because they’d both agreed to keep things simple, not to put any labels on what was happening between them.
But he wanted labels, dammit. He wanted to cover her with stickers that told everybody she was taken, then stick them all over himself too. He wanted the world to know she was his and he was hers.
“I should tell her…” he said slowly. The realization he’d been an idiot washed over him. He didn’t want to be just friends, he didn’t want to only have no-strings-attached sex with her. He wanted to have an honest-to-God real relationship with Ember Kennedy.
He wanted to be the one she called when she was in trouble.
To be the one she came home to at night – or the one he came home to in the morning or whatever ungodly hour his work finished.
To hell with not defining what was happening between them, he wanted it as defined as it could possibly be.
“I should ask her to be my girlfriend,” he said, nodding his head to himself.
“Yes, it sounds like you should.”
He blinked at his mom. In the depth of his own thoughts he’d forgotten she was there.
“And Lucas?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re a firefighter not a superhero. I’m pretty sure you can have a relationship and work shifts, too. Look at me and your dad. When we first started dating we lived a hundred miles apart, yet we made it work.” She smiled, her skin crinkling. “That’s what love does to you.”
Love? Is that what this was? The warmth he felt whenever he thought of her, the desperate need to touch her whenever she was close?
Maybe it was. All he knew was that he never wanted it to stop.
* * *
“Where are you?” Ally asked, her voice echoing out of the phone’s speaker.
“I’m at school, just climbing into my car.” Ember smiled at the thought of her cozy apartment, and a long night with Lucas stretching ahead of her. Strange how only a few weeks ago she’d felt so lonely in those four walls, and now she couldn’t wait to be back there. “How about you?”
“Still at work.” Ally’s voice dropped an octave. “Actually, I’m out in the back hiding from one of our suppliers. He’s looking for money and it’s all run out. I can’t believe I’m being reduced to dodging debt collectors.”
“Have you gotten hold of your dad?” Ember asked.