* * *
Ember slid her sandals off, hooking the straps around her fingers as she let her feet sink into the still-warm sand. The sound of waves crashing against the shore mingled with the shouts and music from the fair, and yet the loudest noise of all was the drum of her pulse as her blood rushed through her ears, her heart hammering against her ribcage every time he smiled at her.
She felt the breeze lift her hair as she turned to look at him. “My dad used to bring me here at night when I was a girl,” she said. “He’d tell me the story of the Angel. Sometimes I’d see the moon reflected in the water, and he’d tell me it was the Angel hiding, waiting for us to leave. According to him she was shy.”
Lucas chuckled. “Was he a big drinker?”
She grinned, shaking her head. “Christmas and birthdays, and the occasional beer in the summer. He lived a healthy life. Didn’t eat too much, didn’t drink too much, rode his bike and walked whenever he could. That was why his cancer came as such a shock, I never thought we’d lose him so young.” She licked her lips, tasting the salt on the wind. “I guess nobody ever expects something like that.”
Lucas was looking out to shore. She could see his profile illuminated by the moon. “They don’t,” he said, his eyes still on the horizon. “I’ve seen enough death to know about that.”
There was something in his voice that made her chest ache; a grittiness that told her he’d seen more than anybody should have to. It took her back to the first time she saw him, when he’d seemed so serious, so unwilling to give an easy smile.
Strange how first impressions could seem so wrong.
“What made you decide to become a firefighter?” she asked him. They’d reached the shoreline, where the waves became only a shallow dance of water, drifting up to kiss their bare feet before retreating back. She wiggled her toes, feeling them sink into the soft, wet sand.
He was standing next to her, so close she could feel the warmth of his arm as it pressed against hers. From the corner of her eye she could see him staring into the distance, his gaze set on the darkening horizon. Only a line of orange separated the ocean from the sky, the burning sun had almost disappeared completely. Another day over, at least as far as nature was concerned.
Yet to Ember it felt like a beginning.
“I originally wanted to join the Army,” Lucas said. His knuckles grazed hers. She opened her hand, the back of her fingers against his, and they slid inside each other naturally.
“You did?” she asked. “What made you change your mind?”
He laughed softly. “Would you believe it was a girl?”
“Yeah, I would.” She bit down a smile. Compromise was what you did when you were in a relationship, gave away small slivers of your own dreams to help somebody else achieve theirs. “How did that work out for you?”
“Great. We’re married with three kids now. Blissfully happy.”
She burst out laughing. Turning her head, she looked up at him. “I’m so pleased for you.”
He tipped his head to the side, his eyes catching hers. “I don’t regret the decision not to join, even though I made it for the wrong reasons. When I look back I don’t think I made many choices for the right reasons, really. It was all about making everybody else happy. Get good grades for my mom, get on the football team for my dad, refuse a job offer from the Army for my girlfriend.” A wry smile lifted the corner of his lips. “All good decisions, but until you start making them from inside yourself they’re never going to mean anything.”
“Can I ask why you split up with her?”
With his free hand, he rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess it wasn’t about the Army after all
. She wanted my attention and didn’t get it, I was always too busy pushing for the next thing.” He took a deep breath, inhaling the salty air. “Firefighting isn’t so different from the military, at least in some ways. It demands all your energy and attention, not to mention your time. I’d do three back to back shifts, then come home and want nothing more than to collapse on the sofa, while she’d want me to take her out and have a good time.” A big wave crashed onto shore, and this time the water reached their ankles. “She wanted me to choose between her and the job. Again.”
“And you chose the job?”
“I didn’t have to. The fact I hesitated told her everything she needed to know. I guess being a firefighter isn’t compatible with being in a relationship.” He shrugged. “She’s married now. Two kids I think, not the three she’d wanted, but she’s happy, so she made the right decision.”
“And you?”
He frowned, his eyes catching hers again. “What about me?”
“Did you make the right decision?”
There was a tic in the corner of his jaw. She watched with fascination as it moved in and out to the rhythm of the waves. “Yeah, I did. I love my job. I could never have given my all to it and given her everything she wanted. We were high school sweethearts, you know? Maybe that kind of thing is never meant to last.”
Yeah, maybe. Ember knew more than she wanted to about that. So strange how she’d spent years believing that she and Will would be the ones to make it, when all along they were following the same, worn out path.
A group of teenagers were walking along the sand, a few yards up from where Ember and Lucas were standing. She glanced at them over her shoulder, smiling when she saw them laughing and pushing each other as they made their way up toward the Heavenly Ice Cream Parlor.
How many times had she done the same thing? With Brooke and Ally, Will and whoever else had come along with them? Those summers had lasted forever, from Angel Day to Labor Day, months of sunshine, sand, and friendship.