Shit. It hurt to hear her say it, but he understood. And it felt like something huge between them. A mountain he had no idea how to climb.
“I can’t stand the idea of not talking to you.”
“I know. But it’s just for a few days. And we have to be the adults here, Logan. We have the baby to think about.” She exhaled heavily. “I’m so tired. I wish I could sleep for a thousand years right now.”
“Are you still at the hospital?” he asked her.
“Yeah. I’m just outside the entrance.”
“You should go home. You and the baby need to rest.” And he needed to stop being a damn needy baby himself. Courtney and their child were the only things that mattered. He said it himself, he needed them to be safe. “And you’re right,” he said, his throat tight as hell. “I promise to think really hard. But
you should know that I care about you. Like nothing I’ve ever cared about before.”
She gave a little sob and it almost killed him.
“Go home,” he urged. “Just take care of yourself okay? Promise me that at least.”
“Okay,” she agreed, her voice a sigh.
He squeezed his eyes shut. His head was pounding.
“Good luck with the opening,” she told him.
He almost wanted to laugh. In the past few minutes he’d forgotten about the restaurant opening. It felt so unimportant compared to this.
“Thanks.”
“Goodbye, Logan.”
It sounded final. Like a shot to the heart.
“I’ll see you on Thursday,” he told her. More of a promise to himself than to her.
And until then, he’d somehow make it through.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The cottage felt oppressive as Courtney walked inside. After talking to Logan, she’d made her way back up to Carl’s private room to sit with Mary and Ellis as he told them what had happened. A robbery gone wrong, perpetrated by a seventeen year old boy with a gun he’d stolen from a friend. The gas station owner had pushed the panic button and Carl was the cop who’d happened to be the closest. As soon as he walked into the station the kid had panicked, turning around to look at Carl, his finger too hard on the trigger.
The kid was lucky Carl had only gotten a flesh wound. A few inches to the right, and it could have been fatal.
She’d left once he was asleep, her body aching after a long, emotional day. Her heart was aching, too. She was still processing her conversation with Logan.
It had almost killed her to suggest they take a break for the next few days.
She felt weak and exhausted, but more than anything she felt desperately sad. Today was supposed to be a good day. She’d been so excited about seeing him, about flying to Boston with his family.
Being part of one of the biggest days of his life.
Now she felt empty.
She put her phone on the kitchen counter. There were two messages there. One from Lainey and the other from Maddie, both asking how Carl was doing. But nothing from Logan.
He hadn’t called or messaged. It was stupid, because she’d asked him for some space and he was honoring that. But it still hurt to be without him. She was so used to speaking with him every evening, hearing his low, warm voice as she laid in bed, her phone pressed to her ear.
For the first time in what felt like a lifetime, everything had made sense. She had a future to look forward to with Logan and their baby, and it had filled her up inside.
And now? All the fears and uncertainty she’d ignored over the past few weeks had risen up. She was in love with him, she knew that, but she also knew she couldn’t let him make this sacrifice for her if he wasn’t ready. It would break her heart and his.