“It sure is.” He felt like his entire body had been bitch slapped a hundred times.
“And if you want to leave to go think, I’m okay with that. I was blindsided, too. It took me hours to even take a second pregnancy test. But I’ve had some time to take it in. I’m kind of ahead of you.”
He shook his head. “I don’t need to go. I just need to…” He sighed. “I have questions.” So damn many. “Is it okay if I ask them?”
“Of course.” She nodded, her face open.
“When did you find out?”
She ran the tip of her finger along her lip. “Last week. A few days before I messaged you.”
“And you didn’t suspect before? You have to have missed at least two periods, right?” He tried hard to keep his voice non-accusing. Because this wasn’t her fault. If anybody was to blame, it was him.
She was sick when they made love. He had no excuse for forgetting to protect them both.
“I had a small bleed the first month. I assumed that was my period. And this time there was nothing. It took me a few days to even think about the possibility of being pregnant. As far as I knew, I’d had a period since we were last together.” Her words were as soft as the clouds above them. “But then it still didn’t come, and I had to drive to Maple Cross to buy a pregnancy test because I couldn’t buy it in the drugstore in town.”
“Because people would talk,” he murmured.
“It’s stupid, right? Because they’re gonna talk like crazy now. As soon as they find out. Courtney Roberts is having a baby, even though her husband’s cold in the ground. It’s like an early Christmas gift for the town gossips.”
A surge of anger washed over him. Because she was right. People would whisper behind her back. They’d watch her with raised eyebrows, and exchange glances with each other every time her belly got a little bigger.
“If anybody gives you a hard time they’ll have me to answer to.”
She arched an eyebrow at him.
“I mean it,” he told her, his voice low. “You’re having my baby. I’ll take care of you.” His eyes clashed with hers. “We should get married.”
She barked out a laugh, and he felt like he’d been slapped.
“Oh god, that’s so sweet,” she told him. “But we already agreed a relationship between us would never work. You’re in Boston, I’m here. And I can tell from the look of shock on your face that you never planned on having kids with me. So thank you for being gallant, but no. We really shouldn’t get married.”
He hated that she was right. Another man – a better man – wouldn’t take no for an answer.
But he wasn’t a better man. Never had been. He was selfish and single minded, as well as a damned workaholic. Exactly the kind of man no kid deserved to have as a father.
But this poor kid didn’t have a choice.
“You need to know I’ll do whatever it takes,” he told her, his expression serious. “I can pay for your medical care, buy things for the baby. Whatever you both need.”
“You don’t need to make any promises now,” she said, her eyes as cool as the water in front of them. “We have months to sort everything out. You probably need to talk it through with somebody. I know I did. News like this takes some getting used to.”
His thoughts immediately turned to his brothers. Cam would be busy training. He’d probably buy Logan a pack of condoms and tell him to take better care next time.
As for Tanner, their younger brother, he was as clueless as Logan and Cam about kids. Though at least he could hold down a relationship, having married his childhood best friend.
Gray might be able to help. Their eldest brother was the proud father of twins himself. Logan thought back to when Presley and Marley were born. He’d visited the following weekend, marveling at their tiny little fingers and toes. And how they could make more noise than he’d believed humanly possible.
In a few months, he’d have one of those tiny human amplifiers of his own. He’d be a father. Responsible for another life, for the happiness not only of their baby but of Courtney as well.
For as long as she stayed single. And a woman like her wouldn’t stay single for long. Not even with a baby. She was too beautiful, both inside and out. One day his kid would have a step father and he’d have to watch them play happy family. The thought of it made his hands curl into fists.
Yeah, well she doesn’t want to marry you. She made that perfectly clear.
He felt like a computer being fed way too much information. The rainbow colored circle in his head kept spinning.
“Have you told many people?” he asked her.