So far they’d done everything, with one exception. The big one. The one that set her heart racing and her mind reeling. At twenty-eight years old, it made her feel like a teenager afraid to take that final step. Teetering on the edge, then stepping back, so afraid that when she let go she’d tumble.
Until she met rocky ground.
“Where’d you go?” Tanner murmured, brushing her soft hair from her face. “I lost you for a minute.”
“I was thinking.”
“What about?”
“Sex.”
He coughed out a laugh, and she turned quickly, slapping her palm over his mouth. “Shh,” she reminded him. “Zoe’s across the hall.”
“You surprised me,” he told her, his lips caressing her hand. “I wasn’t expecting such a blunt reply.” She released her hold on his mouth, and his lips immediately curled into a grin. “Tell me exactly what kind of sex you were thinking about.”
God, he was beautiful. He had the kind of face ancient greeks would have killed for. Strong nose, defined jawline, full lips. He wouldn’t look out of place at the Met. She reached out, tracing his bottom lip with her finger, watching as his eyes darkened.
“I was wondering why we haven’t done it yet,” she told him.
He captured her hand with his, pressing his lips against her palm. “I was waiting for you to be ready.”
“How do you know I’m not?”
“Because you have a big mouth. And when you’re ready you’ll tell me.” He winked.
“That’s exactly the kind of talk that’ll get a girl going.” She rolled her eyes at him, and he kissed her hand again, before releasing it and cupping her face with his palm.
“Seriously,” he said, keeping his voice low. “If you’re worried that I don’t want you, stop it right now. I want you, Van. I always have.” He glanced at the space between them then grinned. “Touch me if you don’t believe me.”
“Oh I believe you.”
“Good. Then I have a question for you.” He paused, then continued, “Actually, I have three.”
She ran the tip of her tongue across her dry lip. “What are they?”
“First, are you okay with condoms?”
“Yeah.” She was completely okay with them. And touched that he wanted to check with her. “What’s the second?”
“Can you wait until I move into my new place? Because when we have sex you’re gonna want to make a lot of noise. And we don’t want to wake up Zoe.”
“You’re very sure of yourself,” she said, her voice teasing.
“I’m more sure of you. You can be loud when you’re having a good time.”
She shook her head, biting down a smile. “You’re an idiot, you know that?”
“Yeah, but I’m your idiot.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask what the third question is.” She wrinkled her nose. “Am I gonna hate it?”
“Probably.” He gave her a soft smile, brushing her hair with his fingers. “But I need to ask it anyway.” The smile melted away, and his serious expression made her chest feel tight.
“Okay then.” She took a deep breath. “Hit me with it.”
“Shouldn’t we talk about what happened at Duke?”
Her muscles tensed. Without realizing it, she’d pulled away from him, the inches of air between them a cold barrier. “I…”