I’m stunned when tears sting my eyes, and I blink hastily. How this woman has that much faith in me is beyond comprehension, but she apparently sees something of value.
“I know,” I murmur. I want what’s best for Dozer, too, and maybe that is me.
CHAPTER 10
Dozer
Settling onto the couch, I stare at the dark TV screen. I’m in no way tired, even though it’s getting late. I’ve got too many thoughts swirling in my head to find any peace in slumber.
All is quiet outside in the communal area. I decided to stay in a Jameson apartment next door to the one Jess, Claire, and Thea are in. On one hand, I feel like I should put space between me and Jess as the threat of actually needing to confront feelings hangs over me. I’m facing some serious shit to keep her safe, and I can’t get distracted.
On the other hand, I want to be close in case she needs me. I want her to need me.
In all ways.
Practically, Kynan wants me to stay here. If Borovsky has the right connections, I’ve been identified and Russians could storm my house at any time. It hasn’t happened yet, and my house has the same state-of-the-art security we offer to our clients, including night vision cameras that cover every angle of my property. Additionally, our security software can identify the difference between a human skulking about and a pesky squirrel so that only legitimate threats are flagged.
I should feel a bit at ease after the gathering this evening. The communal area was filled with people, mostly there to welcome the newest member, Kellen McCord, to our team. All the Pittsburgh field agents not out on active assignment showed up, some with their significant others, and even Rachel flew in from Vegas, although she has other business to discuss with Kynan. She comes in quarterly to go over management issues.
The atmosphere was light and festive. Using a vetted and trusted vendor, Joslyn had the event catered, and it was a joy to watch Thea running around, getting extra-special attention from everyone because she’s the cutest thing ever.
Admittedly, I didn’t like watching Kellen flirt with Jess. They apparently met earlier in the day, but I got a chance to talk to him later and learned he has a girlfriend who he apparently adores back on the West Coast.
Still, I kept my eye on him.
Little by little, the party broke apart. It started with a yawn by Thea, so Claire took her off to bed, and within an hour, almost all had vacated except Joslyn, Kynan, Bebe, Griff, me, and Jess who helped with cleanup behind the caterers.
I subconsciously avoided Jess most of the night, not letting myself get caught alone with her. Afraid she’d want to “talk,” and I wasn’t ready. As she, Bebe, and Joslyn wiped the kitchen down, Griff and I picked up empty cups in the living area and straightened up.
“You’re really good with Thea,” he said offhandedly, and I thought it a weird comment to make out of the blue. I frowned at him, and he laughed. “I’m just saying… as a man who fell in love with a woman who had a kid, I know it can be hard to make that work. You make it look so easy, and that little girl thinks you walk on water.”
I’m warmed by that observation, especially since none of it ever seems like work where Thea is concerned. Much of tonight as she bounced around entertaining everyone, she most often returned to me for attention. I fucking love that kid so much, I think I’d actually die if something happened to her.
Which is why I’m more determined than ever to do whatever it takes to put Borovsky back in prison or six feet under.
The planning is deep underway. We’ll need to dangle me as bait and hope Borovsky snaps it up. We need to make sure my guys here have all the resources necessary to track me to Borovsky and take him down.
Bebe is currently down in the R&D lab tweaking some micro-tracking technology we’ve been working on together, which will be the linchpin in our entire strategy. I insisted on helping her with it, but she refused. She told me there’s a danger in me being overly involved in everything. She didn’t want me wearing myself thin trying to micromanage all the details, and this resonated. As it stands, I trust Bebe implicitly to develop what I need, and we’ll test it together when it’s done.
Until then, however, we wait.
Knowing that I want to get up early tomorrow to hit the gym, I decide to force myself into bed and hope that the act of lying under a blanket on a mattress might relax me enough to fall asleep. I push up from the couch, turn off the side table lamp, and move through the darkened living area to the one and only bedroom.