I’d been to the beach before.
It’d always been my favorite place to come.
And knowing that Faye had never been broke my heart.
It broke it even more that she was here and couldn’t enjoy it.
Gathering my bucket of sand, I headed back toward the house, sweating my balls off the entire way.
I did see one lone figure off in the distance while I was out there, though.
Once I had my girl’s toes in the sand, I would be walking down there and seeing if the man was physically fit enough to help me get Faye inside.
Once I had the bucket where I needed it, I twisted both of Faye’s cute little feet off the side of the chair, and then sank them into the sand, covering them up well.
“What do you think?” I asked her.
There was a small smile on her face, but she didn’t open her eyes.
“The best,” she whispered.
I swallowed hard. “Do you think I should contact the hospice here now? Your doctor and my dad seemed to think that it would be best to do it ASAP.”
“I can hear the ocean,” she whispered, ignoring my question. “It sounds spectacular.”
It did.
The waves were roaring today.
There was a rather large disturbance in the gulf that was well on its way to becoming a hurricane. I wasn’t sure when it was going to start becoming typical hurricane weather, but I was bringing Faye to the beach regardless.
They expected it to hit tomorrow. But ahead of it was a lot of wind and a lot of rain.
Which sucked for Faye because that meant that she’d be stuck inside unless she wanted to get wet.
Which I didn’t think was such a good idea.
“I don’t want to call them,” she whispered. “I just want to die, right here, without being poked or prodded.”
The damn tears started again.
“Pull up a chair.” She paused. “Or better yet, pull me out there.”
She opened her eyes for that comment, letting me know with a single look that she was serious.
I groaned. “You know I’m a wimp. How am I supposed to get you out there on my own?”
She just smiled, the smile nowhere near reaching her eyes.
“I don’t want you to go,” I whispered, thinking she couldn’t hear.
But she did. “I don’t want to leave you but… I want to go.”
The next thirty minutes were spent blowing up a raft with my mouth.
It was big, cumbersome, and worked perfectly to pull her out there.
And, like always, the moment I got her out there, the thunder started to rumble.
“Son of a bitch,” I panted, feeling like my heart was about to explode.
“You need to work out more,” she teased, coughing weakly.
She was right.
I did.
I needed to do a lot of things—like give up drinking Dr Pepper.
But why?
Because there Faye was, the epitome of health, and she was dying.
What did working out and eating right get me?
Because I wasn’t quite sure that it got me anything.
At least not from my experience.
“I like this,” she sighed, wiggling her toes, that were now in the wet sand.
I couldn’t get her any farther without risking her being pulled out.
At least, that was what I was telling myself.
In reality, I didn’t want her to get too close because I was terrified she’d get some bout of strength and launch herself into the ocean to let the raging waters finish the job.
“This is paradise,” she whispered, her voice even weaker. “God, no wonder this place was your favorite vacation. I’d want to come here again and again, too.”
“Tell me a story,” she urged, right after a rumble of thunder sounded. “Tell me your favorite story about here.”
So I did, telling her about the time that my dad caught a stingray off the beach, followed shortly by a shark, then a massive fish I couldn’t remember the name of.
She laughed weakly, and it caused me to look over.
That’s when I realized that I’d been enjoying the view—despite the dark storm clouds—and not paying attention to Faye.
Her breathing was rapid, and her eyes were wide open but dilated so huge that it scared me.
“Faye, please let me…”
“No,” she denied. “No.”
I dropped my chin to my chest and looked at my hands.
I had sand all over them.
In fact, there was so much sand everywhere that I knew that I’d never be rid of it.
“I have…” she breathed. “Three emails.” Another breath. “In my to be sent folder. Send ’em.”
I felt my stomach clench.
“I’m dying,” she whispered.
I moved until I cradled her hand in mine.
It was freezing.
“Not yet,” I denied.
“Now.” She smiled. “I can’t see.”
A sob caught in my throat.
“I love…” She wheezed in a breath. “You.”
Tears like I’d never cried leaked out of my eyes.
A keening sobbing noise was stuck in my throat, and the man that’d been in the distance this entire time started to move closer.
He was no longer just a speck on the sand, but a blob of black that definitely resembled more human than dot.