Or…almost never.
Yes, there were times when scenes from that night at the bonfire, the night way-too-young-for-me Harlow gave me a kiss I have unfortunately been unable to forget, danced through my dreams. But those memories were quickly banished upon waking and my raging hard-on dismissed as run-of-the-mill morning wood.
But now…
Now, as she leans over me, cleaning the last of the blood from my forehead, bringing her full breasts so close to my mouth all I can think about is how much I want to cup them in my hands and worship her nipples with my tongue, I realize there’s no going back to the way things were before. That kiss in September has changed things, changed me.
Or maybe it just revealed the truth my brain has been attempting to hide from me all these years. Maybe I’ve always had this ridiculous crush on Harlow but been too ashamed to admit it to myself.
But there’s no reason to be ashamed now. Harlow just turned twenty-four. Twenty-four and thirty-two is a very different age gap than eighteen and twenty-six. We’ve both full-fledged adults now.
Adults who could maybe see where this attraction might lead if Harlow didn’t hate me like a pinecone set on fire and shoved up her ass. Repeatedly.
“There.” She leans back, surveying my forehead with a bored expression. “You’ll live.”
“Thanks,” I say, curling my hands into fists in my lap to keep from reaching for her. There are other people in the room, including Evie, who would freak out if she thought I was hitting on her best friend.
I certainly lost my shit when I first realized she was dating mine. But now that it’s been a few months, I can’t believe I didn’t see the potential between Ian and Evie sooner. They’re perfect for each other and so deeply in love I have no doubt they’re going to make their long-distance relationship work.
Sooner or later, Ian will be my brother-in-law and the father to my nieces or nephews. A happy ending is all but a foregone conclusion for those two.
The same can’t be said for Harlow and me, a fact she proves by rolling her eyes as she says, “Maybe you should wait to thank me until you see how much glue I used. You won’t be able to work up a full scowl for at least a day, Satan, and we all know how much you enjoy scowling.”
“It’s my favorite,” I shoot back, falling into our usual biting banter, hoping it will kill the heat still pulsing through my veins. “Right up there with torturing the souls of sinners in my lake of fire.”
“Okay, you two,” Evie says with a sigh. “Can we call a truce for tonight, pretty please? Derrick has a head injury and Harlow had three finals today. Neither of you is at the top of your mental game and the rest of us are tired.”
“Exhausted is more like it.” Jess rubs at the tops of her closed eyes. “I’m so over this ‘darkness by five p.m.’ crap. I need sunlight to function.”
“Go sit in front of my sunlamp while I’m gone,” Cameron says, leaning down to catch my eye with a smile. “You okay, man? I can stay if you need me to help you down the stairs and over to the emergency room. But if not, I’m going to head out. I have a date.”
I return his grin. I’ve always liked Cam, ever since he was a scrawny beanpole who chased Evie and her friends around the backyard with his water gun when they were kids. “Yeah, I’m good. Thanks. Have a good night.”
He lifts crossed fingers. “Thanks. I have high hopes.”
“Blessed are those who keep their hopes firmly on the ground,” Harlow calls after him. “For they shall not be disappointed.”
“Noted,” Cam calls back with a laugh.
“Oh, let him get excited,” Evie says in a softer voice, pinching Harlow on the arm before she settles into the seat next to her at the kitchen table. “Better to soar on the wings of anticipation and have to execute a crash landing when your gear fails than to trudge along with your feet dragging the ground all the time.”
“Agreed,” Jess says, patting me gently on the shoulder. “Hope you feel better, Derrick. I’m going to hit that sunlamp and get back to work.”
“Thanks, Jess,” I say, smiling as she turns to go. Jess used to hide in her room when I came over, but she’s been more welcoming lately, since I’ve been making an effort to keep the bossy-big-brother stuff to a minimum.
Harlow was right about that. I wasn’t treating Evie with the respect she deserved as a grown-up who has her shit together. My bossiness was coming from a place of love, but it was still over the top. It was past time for me to change my ways, and I’m so glad I did.