* * *
Harlow: You’re not a putz! And I think you’re brave. Especially if you wanted to bang Mariah as badly as I want to bang Derrick right now. Resisting that for years because the girl you loved wanted to wait, is flat-out heroic. Not to mention hella romantic.
* * *
Cameron: I guess it would have been. If she hadn’t ended up losing her V-Card to two soccer players on the sheets I gave her for her birthday.
* * *
Harlow: No, it’s still romantic. YOU were romantic. Her shitty behavior doesn’t change that.
* * *
Cameron: Thanks, but this isn’t about me. It’s about you. And a very big choice. I mean, I obviously wouldn’t know from experience, but you know what they say—you never forget your first.
* * *
Harlow: I don’t think there’s any chance of me forgetting Derrick, anyway. There’s too much history. But you’re right. It would be a milestone for me, and a much bigger deal than something casual would be for him.
* * *
Cameron: And I’m guessing you haven’t told him that it would be your first time?
* * *
Harlow: Hell no! And I’m not sure I would. If we decide something casual is a good idea, I was thinking I could just…fake it until I make it and skip right over the embarrassing confession part.
* * *
Cameron: Horrible idea. He could hurt you, Harlow. By accident, obviously, but I’m sure he’d still feel awful about it.
* * *
Harlow: Oh, come on. I’m not some delicate flower. I’m sure my lady parts can take whatever he has to dish out. That’s literally what they’re made for. That and squeezing out giant babies way bigger than any peen.
* * *
Cameron: I’m not saying you’re a delicate flower. I’m saying—biology. It’s a biological fact that the first time is a bigger deal for women than it is for men. And it’s an interpersonal fact that you should be honest with your partner. Imagine the shoe was on the other foot. What if Derrick had an issue that he didn’t tell you about beforehand, and you ended up…bruising his balls or something? You’d be mortified and probably a little pissed at him, too. And you’d have every right to be. Lies aren’t cool.
* * *
Harlow: Valid points. But this is a non-issue, right? Because I’m not going to act on these crazy feelings. I’m going to listen to your wise counsel and put off banging anyone until I find the perfect, not-too-great, not-too-awful guy.
* * *
Cameron: That’s what you’re looking for?
* * *
Harlow: Yes. That way I won’t get swept away by first-time drama and start thinking I’m in love with him. I’ll realize that sex is good, but that I definitely want to have more of it with someone else and move on to bigger and better things.
* * *
Cameron: Call me crazy, but if that’s what you REALLY wanted, it seems you would have found it before now. I think maybe you want to have feelings for the person you’re fucking. I think you want to respect them and care about them and trust them. But I could be wrong.
* * *
Harlow: Ugh. You’re not wrong.
* * *
Cameron: I know I’m not. And I know you. So, I’m going to give you a little tough love, okay?
* * *
Harlow: Ugh ugh ugh. Okay. I’ve girded my loins. Hit me.
* * *
Cameron: You have a fantastic brain, but not every decision can be made with brainpower alone. Your heart and your intuition have things to offer, too. Important things. Why don’t you listen to them for a while, and give all that over-thinking and stressing and imagining the butterfly effect of every tiny decision a rest? You might find you enjoy it.
* * *
Harlow: No offense, but that sounds insane.
* * *
Cameron: Does it really, though?
* * *
Harlow: My heart and intuition are stupid. And the only time I trusted them with boy stuff, I made a fool out of myself.
* * *
Cameron: Is that what happened at the bonfire?
* * *
Harlow: Yes. I asked Derrick to be my first. And he obviously said no.
* * *
Cameron: Well, yeah, he did. You were seventeen!
* * *
Harlow: I was eighteen! Fully eighteen. It was just a few weeks after my birthday, in fact.
* * *
Cameron: Doesn’t matter. It was a totally different time and a totally different situation. And he was right to say no. But I bet he won’t say no if you ask again. I’m betting your heart and intuition were right back in the day; your timing was just a little off.
* * *
Harlow: YOU’RE TELLING ME TO GO FOR IT?!
* * *
Cameron: I’m telling you to trust your instincts. And if your instincts are on board, then hell yeah. Believe me, if I had an old friend who wanted to bang me, I’d jump at the chance. I’m so tired of telling women our first time would be my first, first time and watching them run away from my hideous virgin man bod as fast as their feet will carry them.