A major part of me wanted to stay, to just wrap my arms around him, rest my head on his chest, and have him promise me that everything would be okay. That no matter what I felt or thought or saw, everything would be okay.
With one last lingering look, the scent of impending rain in the air, and the heavy cloak of darkness shielding me, I turned and walked toward the forest.
Chapter
Twenty-One
Odhran
Letting her go, walk away from me, was a hard fucking pill to swallow.
Although I could still feel Larkin’s presence on the property, and could find her within minutes if need be, I was antsy and nervous about not being at her side.
I exhaled a harsh breath and ran my hand over my hair, mussing the strands. I had Lycan sentries sprinkled throughout the entire property, but they kept their distance from her unless I specifically told them otherwise. And right now, I knew they were far enough away that she still had the privacy she so craved and deserved.
Realistically I knew I couldn’t be her shadow forever. She needed to be able to spread her wings to explore, to taste the freedom that had been so cruelly taken from her.
It was the crack of thunder, the flash of lightning that drew my thoughts and had me tilting my head back so I was gazing at the sky.
Although it was dark, I could still see the thunderclouds rolling overhead; I could smell the promise of rain in the air. Then the sky opened up as if weeping for the world, the rain pelting down and soaking me in a matter of seconds.
Fook this. I need her, need tae hold her, need tae look intae her eyes and tell her I love her.
I stepped into the woods, feeling the pull of her pulse like a beacon for me to find her. And when I inhaled deeply, I felt my brows pull down low on their own as I picked up on a scent that twisted my heart like a knife plunged deep inside.
I was moving faster, eating up the distance before I slowed to a stop and found Larkin kneeling on the ground, her palms resting on her thighs, her head lowered, her dark hair wet and hanging on either side of her like a curtain, shielding her and offering a semblance of protection.
“Lass,” I whispered, and moved toward her before sinking to the ground in front of my wee mate. The aroma… her tears knocked me on my ass, and I reached out to tip her head back with my index finger under her chin.
Her blue eyes were filled with this fire I’d never seen before. It wasn’t sorrow that I was scenting from her, but frustration and anger zapping around her like the lightning whisking through the sky right now.
I knew that kind of anger well, an old friend I’d clutched on to for far too long. I pulled her onto my lap as I sat on the ground; the rain was slightly letting up but still there was a steady mist breaking through the tree line and covering us.
Fog started to roll in, but I paid no mind to anything but Larkin, of how she curled her hands around my shoulders, her nails digging into my shirt. She clutched at me, her eyes taking on this wild note as her breathing picked up.
“I love ye, sweetheart. I love ye with everything I am, everything I’m made of. Ye are the very makeup of the male who is before ye pleading for yer heart and love.” I leaned in and rested my forehead on hers. “I’m just flesh and bone, a male who is looking into the most gorgeous blue eyes I’ve ever seen, and praying tae whatever gods will listen that they’ll never take ye away from me again.”
I pulled back and saw her eyes widen, her pupils dilated, and I lowered my gaze to her pink, parted lips.
She licked them, and fire burned in my body and settled in my cock. I was already stiff because she was near, because she smelled so good and felt even better.
Larkin pressed her chest to mine, her lips slanting against my mouth, her tongue plunging in. She made this soft, almost desperate sound in the back of her throat, and I wrapped my arms around her, tilting my head to deepen the kiss.
She was clawing at my back, trying to get as close as she could, as if she wanted to burrow herself inside of me. Her actions were frantic, panicked, and although I didn’t want to stop kissing her, didn’t want to pull away, I did just that.
With my hands gently curled around her upper arms, I broke the kiss and controlled my breathing as I looked down at her face.
She shook her head. “Don’t stop this,” she whispered and tried to lean in again. “I need you. I need to be with you. I need to replace the memories that haunt me. I need you to help chase away the demons that live in the far dark recesses of my mind.”
She tried to kiss me again but I held firm, seeing that desperation in her eyes. I knew it all too well, the kind that made you do anything just to stop feeling the darkness that was trying to pull you under, trying to bury you alive.
“Lass, I’m here for you. Always. In any way. I’d give my life for yers. We donna have tae do anything ye’re no’ ready for. We can find other ways to cope. Together. We can get through this pain as one—” When she vehemently shook her head, I clenched my jaw, seeing that steely determination on her face.
My female. My strong, powerful mate.
I ground my teeth again because I knew I was weak where she was concerned, knew I’d give her anything her heart desired.
“I’m tired of being angry and weak. I’m tired of feeling powerless.” Tears trailed down her cheeks but they weren’t ones of sorrow. She was frustrated. “I’m tired of the hand that life dealt me. We finally have each other’s backs and I want to move forward. I want to start a life with you. Tiptoeing around the trauma is only going to keep me down in that hell. I want you, and you want me, Odhran. And I want to be with you now.”