He felt huge under my bottom, girthy and long, a little—or maybe a lot—frightening in size, if I were being honest.
“You’re so hard, Odhran.” I didn’t know why I said it out loud and instantly felt my cheeks heat in mortification.
He rested his head back on the chair and looked at me with hooded eyes. The sound that came from him was part sigh, part moan, and then he was smoothing his fingers along my cheeks, where my flesh felt like it was on fire.
He didn’t say anything, and I knew he was giving me the power to do as little or as much as I wanted, even if I could see in his eyes how hard it was to relinquish his dominance.
He started breathing harder. I could see how tight his jaw was, felt how his whole body trembled. And in that moment, I felt very powerful. I wasn’t even half the size of my mate, yet he looked at me as if I frightened him.
I slid my hands down his cheeks and cupped either side of his neck. His pulse beat frantically beneath my fingers, and I slowly licked my lips, feeling warmth fill me.
I remembered this sensation from when we were in that clearing and he kissed me passionately. I could still taste the wild flavor that covered his tongue and lips as I felt all that hard masculinity press against me.
My body softened, I heard a low rumble leave him, and I was moving closer, my focus on his lips. His mouth was slightly parted, his canines getting longer right before my eyes.
It was a heady sensation, seeing Odhran aroused, even more powerful to feel that desire lick across my body. Because although I knew he was trying to control himself, knew how powerful he was, I also knew he wouldn’t hurt me. Never.
He still said nothing, didn’t move, didn’t try to touch me anymore than he was.
I pressed my lips against his, just the lightest of touches. This was the first time I’d been the one to initiate any kind of sexual act, and as much as it was empowering, I felt grossly inadequate, wholly inexperienced.
But I also knew Odhran, being my fated mate, would also be just as inexperienced as I was. Neither one of us had touched another, never desired anyone else.
But his instincts would take over, the primal, alpha side of him knowing exactly what to do, knowing inherently how to pleasure me when the time came.
I moved my mouth slowly over his, exploring his lips, tasting his passion for me. His body was so hard beneath me, all but shaking in his need, in his arousal. The heavy, throbbing stiffness of his erection dug into my bottom, jerking every once in a while as I delved deeper into the kiss, as I explored him more thoroughly.
And when I opened my mouth and dragged my tongue along the seam of his lips, the harsh groan that left him sent a surge of power through me. He moved his tongue sensually, slowly along mine, and a soft gasp followed by a moan left me.
I heard his nails clawing at the leather armrest, heard his heavy, increased breathing, and I felt fire move through me before settling right between my legs. Warm wetness spilled from me, and I clenched my thighs, the sensation so foreign that I pulled back, my eyes feeling wide as I panted.
His eyes were hooded, his lips red and glossy and slightly parted from our kiss. He was so very big and masculine, his shoulders so broad, his muscles so pronounced that even the chair seemed minuscule in comparison.
I felt more wetness spill from that secret place between my thighs and watched as his nostrils flared. My face heated further, understanding he could smell me, knew my desire was raging for him.
“It’s okay, darlin’.” His voice was so deep and distorted I knew his wolf was sharing this time with the both of us.
And as if to let me know the beast was here too, Odhran’s eyes flashed blue.
“Your wolf,” I moaned, feeling even more arousal at that thought. I could see the visage of his animal flash across his face, his bone structure becoming sharper.
“It’s okay,” he said again and again. “I canna help it. He wants tae be here with us, to taste ye, touch ye. He’s a selfish, greedy bastard.” He was panting. “Like me.”
I moaned at the thought, more wetness spilling from my pussy.
“Ah, my girl, so primed for me.” He dug his nails deeper into the leather, tearing the material. “What ye’re feeling is normal. It’s how it’s supposed tae be.”
I ran my tongue over my lips, tasting his flavor. He groaned again, and I leaned forward once more, kissing him, wanting to crawl inside Odhran where it was safe and warm and where I’d always feel this pleasure.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and we deepened the kiss, tongues pressing and moving together, our flavors and scents coexisting as one. His cock throbbed incessantly underneath me, and I started rocking back and forth, finding a rhythm that had me so slick between my legs, I knew if I stood that wetness would slide down my inner thighs.
I moaned once more and got lost in all things Odhran. But when I felt his hand move up my back, following the length of my spine, something in me started to change, to shift. I tried to push it back, reminding myself this was my mate, my protector.
Flashes of my prison, of the pain and torture, of the cruel hits and touches, flashed in my mind so fast and brightly that Odhran instantly sensed the change. He let go of me, and as I continued to push past those memories that had once again ruined this moment, I felt so hopeless that I was crying before I realized the tears fell.
“My sweet girl.” His voice was guttural, filled with pain.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m broken.” My eyes were squeezed shut so tightly they stung. I shook my head over and over again, trying to clear the memories away.