Fucking haunted him.
That hit me. Right down to my core. Karson was exposing a different side of himself to me. A side that I sensed no one else had seen.
I grabbed his chin so he wasn’t looking at the fire anymore. “I know this may not mean much coming from me,” I whispered, “but I’ve met a lot of people in my life. Bad people pretending to be good. Good people pretending to be bad. People are mostly all the same, all pretending to be something they’re not.” I stared into his eyes. “But you... You are not. You are not just the villain. You said you have a little bit of hero in you. And I agree. Except it’s more than a little. It’s a whole fucking lot. And I see it. I see you.” I rubbed the slight stubble on his cheek. “I see you,” I whispered, my voice breaking at the end because I was too much of a coward to say three other words that would’ve been most honest in this moment.
“Let me take you to bed and show you exactly what kind of man I think you are,” I said, standing and holding my hand out to him.
Karson didn’t hesitate in taking it before throwing me over his shoulder.
“I’m going to show you exactly what kind of man I am,” he countered.
And he did.
He was the kind of man who fucked me into oblivion and brought me wine afterward.
The kind of man who held me in his sleep.
My man.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Burn Your Name – Powderfinger
It was at brunch the next day when I knew the time had come for me to break the news. Well, past the time. After last night with Karson, after last week, the day of Stella’s party... Things had changed. It felt permanent now. And I couldn’t go another fucking second lying to my friends.
“So I’m fucking Karson,” I blurted.
All eyes went to me. None of them widened. Not even a little. Granted, they weren’t easily surprised by me, but I thought this news would shock them at least a little.
“Honey, we already knew that,” Yasmin said mildly while Stella and Zoe sipped their drinks.
My jaw dropped. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You’re not exactly a master of deception,” Zoe added.
I scowled at her. “Excuse me, I have deceived many a border agent and various members of secret police in communist countries.”
“We’re your best friends,” Stella told me. “We know you better.”
“And you’ve been going out of your way not to talk about the man or even look at him,” Yasmin threw in before grabbing a fry. “Not to mention, you axed the prince, you have not said a word about any other man, and I think this is the longest you’ve been in the country for an extended period of time.”
I bit my lip.
Yeah, who was I kidding, thinking I could lie to my friends?
They saw a lot. Almost all of it. And they weren’t judging me or pissed at me for keeping it a secret.
“You like him,” Yasmin observed.
The weight of that observation hit me. Sank me. “No, I don’t,” I argued on instinct. “I like to fuck him,” I corrected.
“Okay, so tell us,” Zoe suggested.
I stared at her. “Tell you what?”
“About the sex.” She leaned back in her chair. “Although he’s not my type, I’m interested to know what he’s like in the bedroom.”
My hands were suddenly sweaty. I was not modest when it came to sex. Each of these women had heard every sordid detail of my previous sexual escapades. Nothing I told them would shock them.