“Did you think I wouldn’t hear about it? Did you think the Dead God wouldn’t take great pleasure in waking me this morning with news that my dear friends all offered up their lives?” Caelan snarled.
Even as he spoke, Nyx was wheezing in the back of his mind as if he were laughing so hard he couldn’t catch his breath. Caris was officially irritated with Nyx, and the other two gods were annoyed with the racket he was making.
“What if he’d listened to you? I would have been alone!” Caelan shouted only to have his voice break at the end.
Drayce shoved to his feet, arms out as if he meant to wrap Cael up in a hug, but Caelan stopped him with a hard push to his shoulder. “We’re trying to protect you. That’s our job.”
“Your job is to help me. Dying right now doesn’t help me!”
“Rayne?” Eno demanded, his voice rough and low, but Caelan caught it.
Rayne hung his head and gave a small shake of his head.
The advisor was the only one who didn’t pray to me, Nyx whispered. But, oh, he wanted to. I think that still counts as trying to abandon you.
“Fuck off!” Caelan snarled and shook his head, glaring at his friends, who appeared stunned by his outburst. “Not you. Nyx. But yeah, fuck all of you for trying to leave me.”
“Your Majesty, we weren’t trying to leave you but give you more time so you could save Thia,” Adrian argued from where he stood in the kitchen, a white mug tightly gripped in one hand.
“Do not call me that.” Caelan pointed one trembling finger at the bodyguard. “I give up my crown. What’s the fucking point of being king if not one of you is willing to obey my wishes?”
While he was distracted, Drayce managed to close the distance between them, wrapping him up in strong arms that crumbled the last of Caelan’s angry reserves. His entire body shook as he hugged his fiancé back. Tears he’d been fighting tumbled free.
“What if he’d listened to you? Any of you?” Caelan choked out, his mouth pressed to Drayce’s shoulder. “I can’t do this without you. I need all of you with me for this.”
“But you can’t do anything if you run out of time before we even reach the godstone,” Drayce argued. He released Caelan only to cradle both cheeks in his hands, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “I don’t want to die. I want to have our big fucking wedding and spend the rest of my life making you happy while driving Rayne fucking insane.”
“Thanks,” Rayne muttered.
“You’ll have Eno to kiss it all better,” Drayce tossed out, then turned his full attention to Caelan. “But you, your grand destiny, your task of saving the world, that’s bigger than me. It’s bigger than what we want. If I can give my life to help save you and Thia, I’ll do it happily.”
A raw chasm spread through Caelan’s chest, and he silently screamed. It wasn’t fair. How could he be presented the only things he’d ever wanted in this world while at the same time marching him toward a fate that was likely to kill him and the people he loved most in this world? At the very least, couldn’t someone have given him a choice? Couldn’t someone have asked him if he wanted to save the world while possibly sacrificing his family and his own life?
He would have still said yes, but at least he could have come to terms with a fate that had been otherwise forced on him.
“No more,” Caelan declared in a ragged voice. “I agreed to use the dragon time I stole, and I will.”
“We were skeptical,” Eno admitted.
Caelan slipped free of Drayce and glared at the taller man, and Eno glared right back at him. Yeah, being a former king and possessing great god-fueled powers did nothing to put a dent in Eno’s stubbornly dark looks.
“We were all there. You made that agreement with Nyx under duress. We didn’t believe you, and I’d be shocked if the Dead God believed you,” Eno continued.
I really didn’t, Nyx chimed in. But I am holding you to it.
“Wait! What the fuck is going on?” Davi demanded, lifting his voice to a shout. “What’s he talking about offering your life up?” He took a step closer to Eno, his eyes narrowed. “Did you try to sacrifice your life? Is that what last night’s talk was all about? You thought you were going to die?”
“Caelan made a deal with the Dead God, and he’s running out of time. If he dies before he can defeat Safa and the Goddess of the Hunt, all of Thia is fucked,” Eno quite neatly summarized. “Yes, I offered what life I had left to the God of Time to give to Caelan so he can save our world.”
“Asshole!” Davi barked, pointing a finger at his brother.
“Enough!” Rayne bellowed as he launched to his feet. He ripped off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “You are not giving up the throne, and you will use the time you’ve collected.”
Caelan snorted. “The Dauphin has spoken, and the king must obey.”
Rayne delivered his most withering look and shoved his glasses back in place. “Because this Dauphin refuses to be king. I am your advisor, and I advise you to fight with every resource you have. If we can serve you best at your side, that is what we will do. And if we can serve you best by giving up our lives, that is what we will do. It is not just for you. We are doing it to save Erya and all of Thia.”
His heart gave an uneven thump in his chest and his throat was raw with unshed tears, but Rayne was right. When he’d woken to the maniacal laughter of Nyx crowing about how all his friends had tried to offer up their lives rather than continue with him, he’d been consumed by hopeless rage. He didn’t want them to die. He wanted—no, needed—them to be the ones who survived and helped to piece the world together after the fighting was over.