Levi walks around the Escalade and opens my door for me, unintentionally robbing me of the chance to grill Roman about his headspace. Slipping out of the car, Levi takes my hand, and just when I think he’s about to lead me around the back of the Escalade to let Dill and Doe out, they come bounding out after me, jumping straight over the backseat.
Marcus leads the way with me and Levi just behind him, but it’s not until we hit the bottom step of the charred mansion that I hear the final door of the car open and close. Roman is silent as he follows us up the grand entrance, but despite not saying a damn thing, I feel him there. His presence can’t be ignored. He’s just that kind of guy who walks into a room and has the eye of every last person without even trying. He’s a natural born leader, just like Marcus and Levi. But unlike his brothers, that alpha bullshit seems to radiate out of him without even trying.
Marcus stops by the remains of the front door, and honestly, there’s not much to look at. He gives it a gentle push and the expensive charred wood crumbles. Not wanting to dwell or twist the knife already protruding from Roman’s chest, Marcus silently continues, stepping over the front door burial site and continuing deeper into the foyer.
He sucks in a breath, and that’s the only warning I get to prepare myself as Levi tightens his hold on my hand and leads me into the mansion.
“Shit,” I say, letting out a shaky breath of my own as Levi follows. I come to a stop in the center with Levi stepping in behind me, his hands at my shoulders as we each take in the destruction. It looks bad from the outside, but in here, it looks so much worse.
Marcus moves around in a wide circle, needing to take a closer look as I hear a soft “Fucking hell,” murmured from the non-existent door.
My heart breaks and as if sensing that need in me to question him, he silently moves away, avoiding me like the plague as he makes his way through the foyer. He passes the sitting room to our left which was used as Victor’s personal barbeque room and deviates his stare before moving through the front portion of the mansion, his back stiff and taut as waves of emotion roll off him.
Glancing up at Levi with a wide, concerned gaze, I silently ask him what the hell I’m supposed to do. I hate that Roman is feeling this so heavily, that his heart is most likely shattering inside his chest as I stand back and do absolutely nothing.
Levi gives me a tight smile and pulls me into his chest, his strong arm curling around my body. He dips his head toward me, and I close my eyes as his warm lips press against my temple. “Go,” he murmurs, his words so low that Marcus and Roman, who are barely a few steps away, won’t hear. “I don’t know what he needs, but I know you’re a part of it.”
His soft lips move away enough for me to raise my head, and without skipping a beat, I push up onto my tiptoes and capture them in mine. Our kiss is brief and gives me just a fraction of the closeness I’ve been craving over the past week and a half.
Stepping away from his side, I move through the charred remains of the foyer, passing Marcus, who gives me a tight smile, his fingers softly brushing mine as I go. By the time I catch up to Roman, we’re moving through the back portion of the foyer and into a wide-open living space. It’s just as charred and ruined as the grand entrance, but it holds a little hope that things might get better.
His sharp gaze travels over the living space as we walk through it, not stopping to take in the minor details, but I don’t doubt that he’s silently working out a game plan to restore it.
Moving into his side, I allow my fingers to brush up against his, and he greedily takes my hand, linking our fingers before looping our joined hands over my shoulder and drawing me into his side. Looking up at him, I take in the sharp set of his jaw, his deep, dark eyes that look so broken, and the slight frown resting on his lips.
Pulling him to a stop, I reach up with my other hand and curl it around the back of his neck, my thumb resting along his jaw. His eyes drop to mine, and for only a moment, he lets me see just how deeply the devastation burns within him.
My thumb moves back and forth over his jaw as I slowly move closer into him, his other hand dropping to my hip as his forehead gently presses against mine. “Are you okay?” I murmur, the heaviness between us weighing us both down.
Roman scoffs and raises his head just enough to press his lips against my forehead. “It’s a home, Shayne. Four walls and a bit of interior design. It’s nothing that I can’t rebuild, but that’s nothing compared to what you’re going through.” He drops his gaze, letting it bore into mine just enough to prepare me for where he’s going with this. “I should be asking you the same question.”
I immediately look away, not ready to go there. Not even close.
I begin pulling out of his arms, and despite his better judgment and every little need to hold on to me, he lets me go. I’ve been scarred enough over the past few weeks, and there’s no way in hell that he’ll try to add to that in any way.
“The fuck is he talking about?” Marcus’ stern tone sounds through the heavy silence. Glancing back over my shoulder, I find Levi and Marcus, both watching me and Roman with furrowed brows, anger and confusion swirling in the dark depths of their eyes.
Fuck.
“It’s nothing,” I say, picking up my pace and moving through to the next room. “I’m fine. Roman shouldn’t have said anything.”
Roman scoffs, which only sets off the boys even more. If there’s anything they despise, it’s being left in the dark, especially where I’m concerned. Finding out that one of their brothers knows something and they haven’t had the decency to share? Now that is a betrayal of the most epic proportions.
“Shayne,” Levi demands as I try to scurry away, the memories of that day coming back to me in haunting waves, image after image assaulting my mind.
I push through a door and move into a room that didn’t get hit so hard from the fire, letting me know that maybe this mansion can be saved after all, but right now, it’s the furthest thing from my mind.
A hand curls around my elbow and I’m spun around to face all three angry DeAngelis brothers. Well, two of them are angry, the other looks a little sheepish—so fucking sheepish that he deserves a goddamn stiletto heel slammed up his ass. The fucker knew what he was doing. I’ve seen it on his face for days, desperate to question me, desperate to know the details just so he can dwell on them and fuel his hatred for his father. But bringing this up right now in front of his brothers, fuck. He’s going to get it, and it’s not going to be pleasant. This is all a ploy to avoid his own feelings about his home, and for that, he’s right at the very top of my shit list.
“The fuck is going on?” Marcus spits, his emotions always getting the better of him. “What are you keeping from me? From us?”
I clench my jaw, my heart racing like a fucking jaguar through the thickest jungle. My gaze snaps to Roman’s as I tear my elbow out of Levi’s strong grip. “Dead to me,” I spit, loving the way my words make him flinch. I don’t mean it, not really. Despite his moody assholish tendencies, I’m crazy in love with the fucker, but damn, do those words make me feel better, even if only for a second.
I storm away knowing all too well that there’s no way I can avoid this now. The boys will get the answer they want whether I’m ready to share it or not, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. But if I can make Roman hurt during the process, then that’s more than alright with me.
The boys storm behind me, and I barely even get a step away before Levi’s tone fires through the open room, betrayal thick in his voice, mixed with a sadness that pulls me up short. “We don’t keep secrets,” he murmurs. “Not here. Not now. Not after everything we’ve already suffered through. If there’s something you’re hiding from us …”
He lets the words fade away, but I still hear them loud and clear. He’s asking me why I don’t trust him, why after everything we’ve been through I still feel as though I can’t share part of myself with him, but that’s not it at all.